From her comfy spot on the couch, my three-year-old daughter observed my workout in front of the TV. She saw me huffing and groaning and dripping sweat. And the ladies on the screen were doing none of the above.
She said, “Mommy, doze wadies are all skinny.” I grunted and gave her a ‘what’s-your-point?’ sort of look.
After a few more moments, she said, “But how come dey are exewcising if dey are alweady skinny?”
I couldn’t tell you why skinny people work out. But I do know why they put skinny ladies on exercise videos: to motivate the rest of us.
It intrigues me, however, that at church, we do the opposite. We don’t want a flawless woman telling us her tricks to mastering Proverbs 31, or her steps to a bumper ‘Fruits of the Spirit’ crop. This may have motivated women in yesteryear, but today, such an infallible voice would be snuffed out faster than you can say, “Hypocrite!” We prefer someone who is ‘real’–who is huffing and groaning and dripping like we are.
Why is this? Why do we like perfect role models at the gym but not at church? Why does our generation seem to be repelled by someone who comes across as a little too confident or impeccable? What does this say about us?
I have some preliminary ideas on this, but I’d really like to get your input before I give you mine. Leave a comment or shoot me an email (shanpopkin@gmail.com). I’d like to hear:
- Do you agree? Does our generation of Christian women seem to repel flawless, confident role models?
- If so, what would you attribute this to?
To be continued.
Thanks for all the great emails so far… Keep 'em coming. You all are giving me a lot to think about.
I think for me, I have seen enough “confident, seemingly perfect, godly women” who really aren't. The true person shows eventually. There's not a question whether those women at the gym have had results with their workout, we can physically see the results. It's harder to see the true person in a church leader situation. God wants us to be striving to be like Him not a women who portrays themselves as confident, flawless role models. Those who strive to be like another person will always be disappointed when that person doesn't live up to their portrayed image…
This is a fascinating topic–one I have been thinking about lately myself. I think that we all have areas of strength and it's okay to celebrate growth in an area by speaking wisdom to others in that area. It doesn't mean we're perfect. I have been discouraged many times by exposing my vulnerabilities to a group of women only to have me feel horrible and for them to go on “life as usual” feeling somehow better that I have problems, too. I've not seen God use that “we're in the same boat” mentality to promote much change in my life. Of course we all have problems! I don't want to hear all about the struggles all the time. Show me a little triumph, something to aspire, too. Don't we already know that nobody is perfect in all areas!? Just a thought…
Anon. 1– very true. The truth always surfaces.
Anon. 2- Amen! More triumph. That's what I crave, too. I'm a little tired of the same old voice, “I'm struggling like you.” But I don't want the confident, glossy, perfection either. What do I want??? I guess I want Jesus with skin on.
I've been blessed by a variety of testimonies. Some have shared how God saved them out of dysfunctional life styles, or health issues. Others have shared of the blessing of God by bringing them up in Christian homes, enjoying a church ministry, being blessed with education and a godly spouse. Different speakers have the ability with the guidance of the Holy Spirit to encourage different peoples at different points of their lives. As believers we should share honestly as we are given opportunity. Any story can be an encouragement.
Anon,Very true. I recently heard a woman say, “I love my testimony! I was born into a believing home and was saved as a child.” She's right. What a great testimony!