Tonight at midnight. That’s your deadline for signing up for this year’s Speak Up conference!
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Come join 450+ writers and speakers who will be joining virtually this year on July 8-10.
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Friends, this is such a special conference. I’ve been in other places where it feels like Christians are trying to elbow past each other and get ahead of each other, but not so at Speak Up. We are each simply followers of Jesus who long to share His message using our unique voices.
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These photos were taken two years ago when I presented on “Preparing for Spiritual Attack in Ministry”. At the end, I invited the participants to link up with a friend nearby and pray over their ministries. Can you see the earnestness on their faces and the unity in the room as individuals about together, humbly bringing their hopes, dreams, and vulnerabilities before the throne of God?
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This gives you a glimpse into what Speak Up is like.
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This year I will be presenting on “Setting up Shop as a Speaker” and serving on a panel to talk about platform-building in a way that elevates Jesus (not me).
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Come join us! I would love to save you a spot. #AffiliateLinkInBio #SpeakUpRocks #GoingVirtual #ChristianSpeaker #ChristianWriter #ChristianPublishing #WhatAreYouWaitingFor ...

As you scroll everyone's 4th of July posts, do you need a reminder not to compare? I did.
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My husband and I had a quiet 4th. None of our kids were home, and it had been a busy week so we just stayed home.
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No fireworks. No parties. Just the two of us, eating leftovers and having quiet conversations on our back deck.
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It shouldn't have surprised me on Sunday morning, then, when I opened instagram, that I was tempted to compare.
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"Must be nice to have a boat..."
"Oh look, those friends got together. Wish we had been invited..."
"Look at her sweet kids in their red, white, and blue. I remember when our kids were little and actually wanted to hang out with us..."
"Maybe we should buy a cottage, too, so when our kids are all grown they'll want to come visit us..."
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When I measure myself against others, my heart fills with all sorts of sludge: Jealousy. Competition. Longing to be admired. Fear of being left out or left behind.
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Paul—the missionary who was responding to leaders who are trying to outdo him, said that that measure-up comparison is not wise (II Cor. 2:12. And Jesus—the one who came to free me from this measure-up world, shares the secret to breaking free: It's in living as He did, and serving others, not myself; lifting others up, no myself.
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It's in asking questions like: Who can I serve today? Who can I lift up and celebrate? Who can I encourage? Who can I help? What small things can I be grateful for?
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Here are my answers to those questions from the past 24 hours:
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We got to have another couple over for church. I got to encourage my son with his music. I got to talk with a friend on the phone and help her set some fears to rest. I got to go for a bike ride with my husband and dream about our future over ice cream cones. I got to have a significant conversation with my son about living his faith.
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It was a good weekend in 100 quiet ways.
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Instead of comparing your life, try sharing your life and celebrating the lives of others. This is the wisdom of Jesus.
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#comparisongirl #newstudy #jealousy #fomo #feelinglessthan #4thofjuly #encouragementfromscripture ...

Time with my people this week. I’m grateful for my sister, who spends her vacation visiting us, for my parents who constantly serve us, for my husband who keeps us all laughing, and for my 16 yo who isn’t too cool to hang out with us.
Happy 4th from our family to yours!

#lakemichiganbeach #familytime #fourthofjuly ...

As Jesus encountered people who were steeped in me-focused comparison, he kept inviting them to come be part of the kingdom of the me-free.
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Whether they were filled with angst because they didn’t measure up, or pride because they did, Jesus kept inviting them—and us—to detangle ourselves from the comparison stress of the world and live as he did. To empty ourselves of status, pour our lives out, lay our lives down, and be free.
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Read more at my guest post with Tricia Goyer:
https://www.triciagoyer.com/how-to-stop-comparing-and-walk-in-freedom/
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Check out my new study, examining the conversations Jesus had and the stories he shared with people who were comparing at www.ComparisonGirl.com. Link in Bio!
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#comparisongirl #measureupanxiety #measureuppride #mefreeliving @triciagoyer ...

For a limited time: Get a FREE measuring cup bracelet with the purchase of a Comparison Girl bundle.
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It's a pretty way to remind you to live by the spout, not the lines!
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For only $24, you'll receive the book, the companion journal, and the bracelet.
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Link in bio
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#comparisongirl #spoutnotlines #limitedtimeoffer ...

I was feeling down recently because of a "no" I received. I'm sure it wasn't personal but personally, it hurt.
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I wondered who they did say yes to. I wondered what those other servants of the Lord had which I didn't. I wondered if there was a way to better myself. Or maybe I should just quit trying and hide.
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Wait. Quit and hide? I've never heard Jesus suggest that. Not even once. So who was I being influenced by? What mindset was adopting?
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As I reflected, I had to admit that the "yes" I craved was far more about measuring up than about being given an opportunity to serve.
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If all I wanted was the chance to serve, my messy house provided endless opportunity. Same with the people whose lives overlap mine. And same with my email inbox, which might not be stuffed with biggish requests like the one I was hoping for, but has no shortage of small ones.
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In fact, I had one such small-ish assignment that very day. I was headed out to meet with the delightful group of women in this photo, who were working through my new #comparisongirl study, and that's what I decided to focus on. How could I live by the spout, not the lines? How might God use me to pour myself out?
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But when I arrived, just the opposite happened. These women poured into me! As they shared what God has been doing in their lives, I soaked in their words of truth and laughter.
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And I noticed something. Perhaps it wouldn't be meaningful to anyone else, but do you see how the covers of those books on the table curl up? That means these books are being USED. Which means I was being used - by God!
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As I sat at that table, gone were the feelings of inadequacy, hurt, and under-confidence. In their place was a renewed confidence and settled joy.
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Friends, let's not waste time fretting over a "no" or a lost opportunity, when there are endless opportunities to serve the Lord. Instead of falling back into a measure-up mindset, let's make ourselves available for whatever assignments he might have for us today, big or small.
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This is the me-free living that Jesus calls us to. And it's what restores our freedom, confidence, and joy!
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#comparisongirl #measuringup #feelingdown #mefreeliving #smallgroup ...

It's natural to try to push ahead and earn "first place" positions and awards and notoriety, here in the world. We long to be seen as one of the "firsts", whether in our families, our neighborhoods, our workplaces, and even our churches. We loathe being thought of as one of the "lasts".
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But the path to "firstness" is full of temptation to posture, inflate, puff up, and conceal flaws. Our first-place agendas turn us into people that nobody wants to be near.
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Jesus taught that things stack up a certain way, here in the world, but in heaven, "Many who are first will be last, and the last first" (Matt. 19:30). Things are measured differently there, and he wants us to know.
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In heaven, there is no value associated with getting ahead of other people or being great in their eyes. All the value is placed on serving. And here's the beautiful thing: Serving is possible anywhere.
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You can serve others in the projects or in a suburban mansion. You can serve others from your position at the top of an org chart or the bottom. You can serve Jesus from up front on your church’s platform, or from down below, tucked away in your church’s basement nursery.
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But when the path to "firstness" is your priority, you can’t serve. Your heart won’t allow you to, because you’re too committed to pushing past and getting ahead.
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Many who do ultimately become "firsts" in this life will be "lasts" in the life to come. That's the warning and invitation offered to us by heaven's King.
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Take a moment and look up from this screen. Think about where you're going and what you're pursuing. Are your feet pounding the path to "firstness"? Or are you using your life to serve?
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#comparisongirl #firstwillbelast #lastwillbefirst #greatestistheservant #mefreeliving #measureupworld ...

GIVEAWAY WINNER IS: @helen.miller.1800721 !! Congrats Helen!
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Have you read Sharon Hodde Miller's book, "Free of Me"? Sharon's thoughts on insecurity in this book were groundbreaking for me as I thought about the topic of comparison.
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Sharon offers two causes of insecurity. One is low self-esteem: the struggle to believe that you are loved, accepted, and valuable because God says you are. The second is preoccupation with self. Sharon writes,
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“Self-focus assumes that every slight, every rejection, every awkward interaction must be about you. Self-focus raises the stakes... [and] also magnifies your flaws, because you are constantly aware of them."
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Have you experienced this as deeply and personally as I have? Then get this:
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“If you try to treat your self-preoccupation the way you treat low self-esteem—namely with affirmation—it actually makes the problem worse. The affirmation only feeds your self-focus." (Free of Me p.33-33)
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That, my dear sisters, is TRUTH. It’s so common to respond to a self-focus problem with more self-focus, and it’s not working. Instead Jesus invites us to #mefreeliving which is not only a more helpful response, it actually solves the problem of self-focused insecurity. Trust me; I’ve tried it both ways!
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When I’m stuck in some #comparisongirl slump, and ask myself, “Am I just making this too much about me?” Most often the answer is yes.
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Because I think Sharon’s message is so very important, I’d like to give away a FREE COPY. To enter, please leave a comment, telling me me which chapter in my new book, Comparison Girl, that you’re either most looking forward to, or you most appreciate. (Need help? There's an Amazon link to the book in my bio).
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Winner of "Free of Me" announced on Wednesday.
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PS. Thanks so much @sharonhmiller , for endorsing my book "Comparison Girl". As you know, I’m mortified about our mistake of not including it in the first printing (we're working to change this for future printings!). Thank you for your incredibly "free of me", gracious response. I am so thankful for you!
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#giveaway ...

Jesus said, “Many who are first will be last, and the last first.” Mark‬ ‭10:31‬
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Jesus often tagged these upside down statements at the end of conversations and stories with people who are comparing. He wanted us to see that things stack up a certain way in the world, but in the kingdom of God, things are different.
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The great ones are those who put others first, not the ones who go ahead, themselves. For those of us who are accustomed to privileges and being ushered to the front of the line, we have to think even more carefully about what it looks like to put others first—which is how we pursue greatness in the kingdom.
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Do you want to live a great life? Do you want to pursue greatness today? Let’s receive the words of Jesus and pray this prayer today:
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“ Lord, show me how to put others first today. Show me how to bend down and become the servant of all. Whether it’s the baby in my lap, the sick family member, the public servant who feels the world is against him, the black sister who is exhausted by despair, or the ministry leader who is feeling demoralized after the repeated attacks over what he said/didn’t say, Lord show me who you’d like me to serve today. How can I bend down to lift someone up?”
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I have a set of prayer cards with prayers like these included in my Comparison Girl bonuses. Learning to see and live like Jesus takes practice. These prayers are worth returning to over and over and over, We need to reset our minds and realign with king Jesus.
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If you haven’t yet, get your set of using the link to the bonuses in my bio. And learn more about my new study at www.comparisongirl.com.
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#comparisongirl #spoutnotlines #pouringnotmeasuring #lastwillbefirst #firstwillbelast ...

Have you downloaded your free comparison girl prayer cards yet? If so, which one has been most helpful?
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(If not, get your set—along with the rest of the bonus pack, using the link in my bio.)
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As Comparison Girls, we have to recognize that our thinking has been deeply tainted by this measure-up world we live in. If we're ever going to break free from our destructive patterns of shame and insecurity or our ugly habits of pride and disgust toward others, we've got to retrain our hearts and minds to think like Jesus.
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We need to adopt his me-free mindset, and these cards can help.
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They're fill-in-the-blank style with prompts like, "Today, I'm going to put the priorities and needs of ______________ first by...." For instance:
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🙏 Lord, I'm going to put the priorities of Ken first by not nagging about the broken garbage disposal.
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🙏 Lord, I'm going to put the needs of Cade first by cheerfully driving him to work and then driver's training and then work today.
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🙏 Lord, I'm going to put the needs of my friend first by praying for her and reaching out with a phone call, rather than getting bothered because she hasn't called me.
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🙏 Lord, I'm going to put the concerns of my irritated loved one first by giving him some space.
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🙏 Lord, I'm going to put the priorities of others who are more at risk than me first by wearing a mask when in close proximity today.
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These prayers remind me of a tweet I read yesterday by @sharonhoddemiller : "Might I suggest that the issue or people who are so irking you today, are also highlighting an area of your life that God would like to grow?"
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It's so true for me. The people I would like to talk some sense into or tap on the shoulder and say, "Don't you get it?" are the very ones God is using to grow me.
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In Comparison Girl, I wrote, "God has only assigned me one person’s sin to deal with: my own. Everyone else I’m called to love." (This is true of non-sin issues, too.) #comparisongirl #meditationprayers #mefreeliving #spoutnotlines #whocaniserve ...