When I’m pouring,
I’m not measuring.
Do you compare yourself?
On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you push yourself to prove that you measure up, then feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.
Join me as—with humor and straightforward honesty—I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride in this six-week study. Together, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.
Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!
Releasing May 19, 2020
Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer.
If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!
Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer.
Podcast & Program Interviews – Comparison Girl
Art of Friendship
With Kim Wier
There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?
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Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.
Comparison Girl Companion Journal
This journal is a companion to Comparison Girl and offers:
- A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
- Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
- Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses we’ll study and additional observation study and discussion questions.
- Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey
Shannon combines Jesus’ teachings with brilliant spiritual insights and powerful tools like “The Disgust Challenge” that invite you to leave Comparison Girl living behind in favor of freedom in Christ. If you want to love people more, let go of beating yourself up or learn how to shake off our culture’s “me-first” mindset, then grab Comparison Girl and gather some friends so that you can share this experience together.
Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.
With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!
Comparison Girl Video Teaching Series
These six video sessions compliment the six chapters in Comparison Girl. However the book can be used independent of the videos.
(UPDATE: My publisher has decided to delay releasing these videos. I’m so sorry about any frustration this has caused you! My hope is to get these to you as soon as possible. For more information, please use the contact tab. To get release info, sign up for leader information.)
Each teaching session is about 18 – 25 minutes long.
Learn More
As Comparison Girls, we have a lot to think through. If we’re going to break free from the bondage and isolation which stem from our measure-up mindset, we’re going to have to start learning to listen for the voice of our Jesus, not the voice of our enemy. These teaching sessions provide a way to do just that.
Harvard University did a study, asking people which they would prefer: A salary of 50K when everyone else had 25K? Or a salary of 100K when everyone else had a salary of 200K.
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What percentage of people chose option 1? You can add your guess in the comments.
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There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?
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Come listen in to my full conversation with Kim Wier on the "Art of Friendships" podcast, where we talk about these questions and more. Link in bio https://hopeondemand.com/article/aof-e023
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#comparisongirl #spoutnotlines #pouringnotmeasuring #upsidedowncomparisons #lastshallbefirst #greatestistheservant #podcast #artoffriendship @kiminnac
This is pretty much how I looked yesterday morning, when I opened the front door (only my bedhead was quite a bit worse).
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Yoga pants & tee. No makeup & tennis shoes. I was dressed to go walking, but my new friend Kelly (who happens to be an image consultant —see @beyoutifulimageconsulting), was dressed for her day.
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When I opened the door and saw Kelly standing there—with Starbucks in hand, and styled from head to toe (swipe right and see how cute she looked), I realized that I had somehow misgauged the dress code for this meet up.
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So I had a decision to make. Was I going to obsess about ME, or focus on HER?
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Now, I'm not somebody who worries about always looking polished (I just posted this photo, didn't I?). But here's what I DO struggle with: comparison.
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As we sat on my patio sipping coffee, I was so tempted to think about ME. My hair, my clothes, my face, and how I wished I had prettied up like Kelly had. But then I realized something.
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By focusing on me, I would miss out on getting to know her. I sensed Jesus reminding me to live my me-free message. Instead of worrying about how I measured up, I needed to be asking myself, "How can I serve my new friend?"
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Turns out Kelly is a gem. We had so much fun sharing about our experiences and ministries. Kelly didn't come to impress me, and she wasn't bothered in the least by the fact that I was looking less than impressive. She's a fun, sweet, woman of God who came, just wanting to be my friend. She even brought me one of those amazing egg bites from Starbucks. How could I not love her?
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Do you want to stop worrying about how you measure up today? Try turning your focus to the spout. Because, "Me-free living is what guards against me-first comparison." - Comparison Girl, p. 22.
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PS. Don't you love my sweatshirt? it's a gift from a group that worked through comparison girl this summer. (Thanks @helen.miller.1800721 !!)Yep. We need to leave the judgin' to Jesus. Even when we're tempted to judge ourselves.
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#comparisongirl #measureupworld #mefocus #feelinglessthan
#livingmefree #spoutnotlines #pouringnotmeasuring
Which of these (swipe right for list 2) has comparison produced in you? Reply in the comments for a CHANCE TO WIN a Comparison Girl journal.
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If you're ready to start denying your inner Comparison Girl, here's what you must do: Listen to Jesus. Listen to his words, which are recorded on the pages of your Bible. Listen long enough and intently enough so that when some comparison message like, "You're worthless," Or "You're better than her," comes to mind, you know enough to say, "Umm... that's not something my Jesus would say."
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The more we lean in to listen intently to Jesus, the more we think about what we're thinking. Rather than blindly entertaining sinful, me-focused ideas, we start to recognize the enemy's hiss in our own thoughts.
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You're invited to join me for a six-week study on the words of Jesus in response to people who were comparing. Learn more at www.comparisongirl.com.
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#comparisongirl #freebook #giveaway #wordsofjesus #mefreeliving #firstshallbelast #greatestistheservant #spoutnotlines #pouringnotmeasuring
That’s my guy, reading my book. So grateful for him.
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#comparisongirl #myhusband #hesoneofthegoodguys
Are you driven to prove that you measure up? Jesus did exactly the opposite. He emptied himself, and invites you to do the same.
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What is he inviting you to empty yourself of today?
Jealousy?
Pride?
Boastfulness?
Status?
Perfectionism?
The need to be right?
The need to be respected?
Fear of what people think?
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When we tip our measuring cups to pour ourselves out, our great God fills those empty spaces with more joy, more freedom, and more peace. He fills us with Himself.
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Jesus—whose measuring cup is bigger than the universe and brimming full—took all His fullness and emptied himself (Phil.2:7). How is He asking you to do the same?
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Www.comparisongirl.com
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#ComparisonGirl #LastWillBeFirst #GreatestIsTheServant #SpoutnotLines #StopMeasuring #StartPouring
Hey mamas, how you doing? Feeling boxed in? Worried about how this pandemic is affecting your kids? Frustrated with all the outcomes that are unraveling?
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We get you. We have the same concerns. And like you, we want to know what Jesus would have us do in response.
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Join my friend @leenienhuis (we took this selfie together a year or so ago) and I on the @momsinprayer podcast for a conversation on comparison, control, and surrendering the unknowns of COVID-19.
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Link in bio. https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-x6kh8-e3e673
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#MomsInPrayer #WhatICanControl #WhatICan’tControl #PouringNotMeasuring #ComparisonGirl #ControlGirl
“Mothers everywhere are facing the same anxiety producing decisions about sending their kids to school this fall. While questions abound about our immediate futures, author and Bible teacher, Shannon Popkin, says maybe loss of control is just what our Heavenly Father will use to help us grow. Today, Lee sits down with Shannon to discuss the illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and walking in faith with our families during these uncertain times.”
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I always love connecting with my friend @leenienhuis ! If you’re feeling weary, overwhelmed, frustrated… We are praying that this conversation will be an encouragement and support to you, friend! Link in my bio.
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#ComparisonGirl #MomsInPrayer #PrayerChangesThings #PrayerChangesMe #StopMeasuring #StartPouring #Spoutnotlines
“I am a Comparison Girl. I never wanted to play into the enemy’s plan for dismantling my contentment and peace, and I suspect you don’t want to either. So it’s high time we cast aside our measuring mentality and adopt a new way. Shannon Popkin expertly walks us through the markers and mistakes of this measure-up world and gently points us to a better way. With humor and brutal honesty, Shannon fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility, and truth.”
—Lee Nienhuis, author and host of the Moms in Prayer podcast
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I'm so thankful for my friend, Lee, and the many ways she encourages me to press on in ministry. Lee is the real deal. I have watched her over the past couple of years faithfully choosing to serve the Lord, come what may. I love her heart for Jesus and am so grateful for her support on this new book (especially since she her own book #counterculturalparenting was launching at the same time!).
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Find her at www.leenienhuis.com or @leenienhuis and tune in tomorrow (Monday) for my conversation with Lee on the Moms in Prayer podcast. Love you, Lee!
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#sistersinministry #thankfulforyou #endorsement #biblestudy #comparisongirl
Have you been measuring yourself against somebody else? Your house? Your kids? Your marriage? Your carreer? Your waist size?
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"When they measure themselves by themselves... they are not wise," wrote missionary Paul, to the church he had planted in Corinth.
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He was responding to critical concerns raised by some people who were saying he didn't measure up, compared to other leaders. Paul rightly defended himself, saying that HE wasn't the problem; they were because they were foolishly measuring their leaders against each other.
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Wise people don't measure themselves or others against each other. Wise people recognize that God fills some measuring cups with more, and others with less and that's up to Him.
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A wise servant of the Lord simply takes what she has - her house, her kids, her marriage, her job, and even her body, and uses the one life she's been given to serve the Lord and others.
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How can you wisely take this week, this day, this summer, or this life and start focusing on your measuring cup's spout, not the lines?
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#spoutnotlines
#comparisongirl
#measureupworld
#livingmefree
#itsnotaboutme
#servingsetsmefree
#livingbythespout
Is there someone who's making you feel small? Maybe she’s prettier than you. Or more productive with her time. Maybe she’s a better decorator. Maybe she serves her kids wild caught salmon and organic veggies and you serve yours fish sticks and fries...
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Do you find yourself wanting to avoid her, because next to her you feel measure up SMALL?
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That's obviously how the disciples felt, the day they were arguing about who's the greatest on the road to Capernaum. Why would they posture and puff up, if they weren't feeling small?
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If you wonder how Jesus would respond to your frustrations over being made to feel small, look how he responded to the disciples. He called them in for an object lesson. Taking a baby into his arms, Jesus said, "Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
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You and I might have pointed at Peter, James, or John as an example of greatness, but Jesus turned their attention to the smallest person in the room. “Want to be great? Be a little person,” he said.
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Kingdom greats are those who choose to see themselves as small. This involves a "littling of self" but not a belittling of self. That’s an important distinction.
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Humility isn't denying that we have MORE in our measuring cups - whether more gifts or talents or resources. That's not what Jesus was asking these disciples to do. Instead Jesus was asking them to pour out that "extra" in their measuring cups, rather than using the extra to prop ourselves up.
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Humility isn't denying that I have more, but it's also not shaming myself when I have LESS in my measuring cup. It's recognizing that if God wanted me to have more, he would have given it. So instead of shrinking back or sulking, I'm going to take what little I have and get busy with pouring.
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Interested in more? Check out my new book at www.comparisongirl.com.
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#comparisongirl #greatestistheservant #firstwillbelast #lastwillbefirst #wordsofJesus #sheepknowhisvoice
As we inch toward the school year, there is much uncertainty, conflicting information, change, and stress. And here's what will compound it all: glancing sideways to measure what I'm pouring out (as a mom, in ministry, at work, etc.) with what she is.
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Can I encourage you with some words from Jesus? Our Lord never told us that we were supposed to produce as much as or more than somebody else. (Look at the story of the vineyard workers in Matt. 20.) He never shamed anybody because they had less to give. (Look at the story of the widow who gave two copper coins in Luke 21.)
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Jesus encouraged each of us to take whatever is in our measuring cup and use it - not to lift ourselves up, but to serve the world.
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Friend, you and I might have different amounts in our measuring cups, and we might be called upon to pour out in different ways during these trying times. But regardless of our differences, we each have equal opportunity to tip our cups, pour out what we have, and serve. Which means we each have opportunity to pursue kingdom greatness!
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"The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts [herself] will be humbled, and whoever humbles [herself] will be exalted. (Matt. 23:11-12)
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#comparisongirl #greatestistheservant #firstwillbelast #lastwillbefirst #wordsofJesus #sheepknowhisvoice
As one of Jesus's sheep, you must listen for his voice. You must listen long and listen carefully so that your ears are so tuned the voice of Jesus that you can reject messages that aren't from Him.
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Messages like, "You're not enough." Or, "Nobody loves you." Or, "You're not worth it. You'll never measure up." Friend, these are things that Jesus would never say. He's never said anything that sounds remotely like this (check your Bible). If Jesus is your master, his words must matter most.
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We need to be women who are ready to capture inferiority thoughts and hold them captive, rather than letting them run rampant through our minds to do their destructive damage. We need to be women who say, "I will reject thoughts of inferiority, which aren't from Jesus."
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For a set of prayers like this, sign up for my free Comparison Girl bonuses - link in bio. Learn more at www.comparisongirl.com.
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#comparingup #comparingdown #measuringup #pouringout #livingmefree #comparisongirl
Here's the tip I got to share in the wrap up of our Speak Up panel on Platform-Building: As influencers, we must continue the ongoing work of sorting out our motives.
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So often, we set out with a heart to selflessly share what God has first given us. But there's no denying social media's strong undertow of self-interest.
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Instead of simply desiring to serve and give and share, my motives are muddied with a desire to receive praise, get applause, and gain recognition.
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In our book Influence, I shared a Heart Sifter tool which helps weed out the impure motives, so we can see the ones which are pleasing to God, and make our next decisions. (Check out more on this book at www.shannonpopkin.com/influence/ )
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But for the daily, little choices about what will I post, how will I steward my time, and how will I interact on social media, it's helpful to regularly return to these two questions:
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Am I here to serve others, or myself?
Am I here to lift up Jesus or me?
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#elevatingJesusnotme #shinebrightly #followmeasifollowhim #lifthimhigh #influencebook #christianwriters #christianspeakers #speakuprocks2020 #SpeakUpRocks @katemotaung @fiveminutefriday
TODAY: I'll be joining my friend, Michelle Nietert, on her facebook page LIVE today at 11:30 CST (12:30 EST)!
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Michelle has been doing an amazing job of building enthusiasm and giving you a window into the Speak Up conference as she interviews various faculty members each week. But THIS week, we're teeing things up, because the conference begins tomorrow!!
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So if you're attending Speak Up, or interested in someday attending, please join us as we talk about Speaking Up as Christians. #SpeakUpRocks #SpeakingUp #ChristianWriters #ChristianSpeakers #WritersConference #PlatformBuilding #StartsTomorrow #InsiderScoop
Tonight at midnight. That’s your deadline for signing up for this year’s Speak Up conference!
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Come join 450+ writers and speakers who will be joining virtually this year on July 8-10.
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Friends, this is such a special conference. I’ve been in other places where it feels like Christians are trying to elbow past each other and get ahead of each other, but not so at Speak Up. We are each simply followers of Jesus who long to share His message using our unique voices.
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These photos were taken two years ago when I presented on “Preparing for Spiritual Attack in Ministry”. At the end, I invited the participants to link up with a friend nearby and pray over their ministries. Can you see the earnestness on their faces and the unity in the room as individuals about together, humbly bringing their hopes, dreams, and vulnerabilities before the throne of God?
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This gives you a glimpse into what Speak Up is like.
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This year I will be presenting on “Setting up Shop as a Speaker” and serving on a panel to talk about platform-building in a way that elevates Jesus (not me).
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Come join us! I would love to save you a spot. #AffiliateLinkInBio #SpeakUpRocks #GoingVirtual #ChristianSpeaker #ChristianWriter #ChristianPublishing #WhatAreYouWaitingFor
As you scroll everyone's 4th of July posts, do you need a reminder not to compare? I did.
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My husband and I had a quiet 4th. None of our kids were home, and it had been a busy week so we just stayed home.
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No fireworks. No parties. Just the two of us, eating leftovers and having quiet conversations on our back deck.
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It shouldn't have surprised me on Sunday morning, then, when I opened instagram, that I was tempted to compare.
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"Must be nice to have a boat..."
"Oh look, those friends got together. Wish we had been invited..."
"Look at her sweet kids in their red, white, and blue. I remember when our kids were little and actually wanted to hang out with us..."
"Maybe we should buy a cottage, too, so when our kids are all grown they'll want to come visit us..."
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When I measure myself against others, my heart fills with all sorts of sludge: Jealousy. Competition. Longing to be admired. Fear of being left out or left behind.
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Paul—the missionary who was responding to leaders who are trying to outdo him, said that that measure-up comparison is not wise (II Cor. 2:12. And Jesus—the one who came to free me from this measure-up world, shares the secret to breaking free: It's in living as He did, and serving others, not myself; lifting others up, no myself.
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It's in asking questions like: Who can I serve today? Who can I lift up and celebrate? Who can I encourage? Who can I help? What small things can I be grateful for?
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Here are my answers to those questions from the past 24 hours:
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We got to have another couple over for church. I got to encourage my son with his music. I got to talk with a friend on the phone and help her set some fears to rest. I got to go for a bike ride with my husband and dream about our future over ice cream cones. I got to have a significant conversation with my son about living his faith.
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It was a good weekend in 100 quiet ways.
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Instead of comparing your life, try sharing your life and celebrating the lives of others. This is the wisdom of Jesus.
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#comparisongirl #newstudy #jealousy #fomo #feelinglessthan #4thofjuly #encouragementfromscripture
Time with my people this week. I’m grateful for my sister, who spends her vacation visiting us, for my parents who constantly serve us, for my husband who keeps us all laughing, and for my 16 yo who isn’t too cool to hang out with us.
Happy 4th from our family to yours!
#lakemichiganbeach #familytime #fourthofjuly
New trailer video!
Learn more at www.comparisongirl.com
#comparisongirl
In this podcast interview, you’ll hear my first impression of Jen, then her version of the story. Plus our difference in coffee mug collection. And some great truth on finding freedom from measure-up living. #linkinbio
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Here’s Jen:
・・・
It is so easy to get in a comparison trap as we scroll social media or look at others lives .
I loved talking with my friend @shannonpopkin about how to pour instead of trying so hard to measure up .
Join us by searching Coming Alive Conversations on your favorite podcast app or by going to www.comingaliveministries.com #comingaliveconversations
As Jesus encountered people who were steeped in me-focused comparison, he kept inviting them to come be part of the kingdom of the me-free.
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Whether they were filled with angst because they didn’t measure up, or pride because they did, Jesus kept inviting them—and us—to detangle ourselves from the comparison stress of the world and live as he did. To empty ourselves of status, pour our lives out, lay our lives down, and be free.
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Read more at my guest post with Tricia Goyer:
https://www.triciagoyer.com/how-to-stop-comparing-and-walk-in-freedom/
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Check out my new study, examining the conversations Jesus had and the stories he shared with people who were comparing at www.ComparisonGirl.com. Link in Bio!
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#comparisongirl #measureupanxiety #measureuppride #mefreeliving @triciagoyer
