Hey, I’m Shannon.
And I’ve been a Comparison Girl for as long as I can remember. Literally, my first memory at age four, is of feeling humiliated because someone found out that I could not read. Oh, the humiliation!
It seems silly now. Why was I so worried about being exposed as an illiterate preschooler? Yet some of my current struggles are just as absurd. Why do I worry about being exposed as a less-than-perfect mom? Or a middle-aged woman who struggles with her weight? Or a Christian who still sins?
Constantly trying prove that I measure up or trying to hide when I don’t, does not lead to a life of freedom and joy. Here’s what does: learning to live me-free. I hope you’ll stick around and join me in learning these lessons from Jesus on me-free living in a measure-up world!
Want to learn more about me? Come visit my “about me” page!
Do you compare yourself?
On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you drive yourself to prove that you measure up? Do you feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.
Join me, as I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride. In this six-week study, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and the stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.
Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!
Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer.
If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!
Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer.
“Comparison. We all fight it. But for many of us, it feels like we are losing the battle. Why? Because what we need, to combat comparison, is not simply the knowledge that it hurts us, but the tools to resist it, and that is exactly what Shannon Popkin has given us. With fresh insight, biblical grounding, and light-hearted humor, Comparison Girl offers practical steps for curbing this temptation. If comparison is your struggle, this book is your guide!”
Leader’s Kit
Now Available!
- 6 Teaching Sessions, which correlate with the chapters of the book
- DVD + digital downloads
- One Comparison Girl book
- One Journaling Workbook
- Leader Discussion Guide
Each session is about 18 – 25 minutes long. Dive deeper into what Jesus teaches about the difference between comparison in the world and comparison in the Kingdom.
Sign up for leader updates.
Journaling Workbook
The companion Comparison Girl Workbook offers:
- A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
- Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
- Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses and additional observation study and discussion questions.
- Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey.
- Available either as part of the Leader’s Kit, or as a separate purchase.
Get the Comparison Girl Bonuses:
Comparison Girl Screen Savers – there are 12 in all!
Turn your comparison struggles over to the Lord.
An illustrative drawing in Philippians 2:7-9.
All of these & more!
Comparison Girl Chapters & Quotes:
Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.
With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!
Have you made your way back, as your church’s doors have opened?
Have you signed up for a small group, or decided to start one?
Have you shared a meal or a walk with someone who loves Jesus lately?
Is anybody looking out for you, spiritually? And are you looking out for them?
When’s the last time you’ve prayed with someone?
When’s the last time you’ve shared what God was showing you in the Bible with another person?
When’s the last time you’ve been asked a spiritual question?
Here's the truth: In spiritual isolation, we wilt. In community we grow.
Do you believe this is true? Do you live like you believe this is true?
Like plants need water and sunshine, we need to be gathering with other believers to open our ears to the Word of God being preached, and opening our mouths to proclaim the truth about God. Virtual or in person, we need to plant ourselves in side-by-side community with other believers.
As we one-another, the roots of our hearts become intertwined, which makes us strong against tests, trials, and temptations, and which positions us to grow.
Read more in my post, "How Well Are You One-Anothering?" Link in bio.
#smallgroups #spiritualgrowth #whoareyoulookingoutfor #spiritualmentoring #spiritualmothering #biblestudy #onlinebiblestudy #womensministry #nobodythrivesalone #growingroups #groupiswhereyougrow #smallgroupministry #smallgroupspastor #thriveincommuntiy #bodylife #spiritualcommunity #followingJesusingroups
My S key took a leave of absence. (Swipe right.)
If you glanced at this photo and thought it looked pretty ideal for getting some work done on a beautiful sunny day, let me tell you.
There are a lot of S’s in every sentence. And paragraph. And page.
As the Church, we all have a different place and function on the keyboard. We are each essential—but not just as individuals. We need to make ourselves available within the context of groups of believers—with all the “keys” working in side-by-side community so that the Author of all can use us (plural) to get the message out.
When one of us takes a leave of absence—either from using our unique gift or from intentional community—the message of the gospel slows.
True story.
#bodyofchrist #allessential #holdyourplace #availabletogod #lggram #theskey
Delighted to be a guest on "A Woman's Heart" with Lisa Granger this morning.
We're talking about comparison. If you live near Williamsburg, VA, you can tune in at 9 am on WMBG or stream at www.wmbgradio.com. (Link in bio.)
Thanks so much to my #speakuprocks sister, Lisa, for having me on the broadcast!
#christianradio #radiohost #comparison #comparisongirl #mefreeliving #measureupworld
I’m delighted with an invitation to speak for the Ultimate Bible Journaling Retreat at @lakeanncamp this fall! 🍁⠀
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These women are passionate about building the Kingdom of God and directing broken souls to the heart of our gracious, compassionate God—one brush stroke at a time. 🎨⠀
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I’m honored to be included—and so encouraged that they are excited to have me. 🥰⠀
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Read their announcement below ⬇️ AND consider joining us! (I’m told non-creatives are welcome, too!) 😍⠀
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Link in bio. ⠀
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Isn’t good news so excruciating to hold on to? Well, our long awaited secret is here... to be revealed... today... in fact, right nowwww! The announcement of not one, but TWO amazing Christ-Following authors, speakers, influencers - Welcome @shannonpopkin and @phyliciamasonheimer to retreat this fall #ultimatebiblejournalingretreat - a visual based, hands on experience that you will NOT want to miss. October 28-31 - Mark your calendars! register today at theilluminatedlife.org ⠀
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#christianwoman #faithartist #bibleverses #controlgirl #controlgirltojesusgirl #ministry #womensupportingwomen #proverbs31 #jesusgirl #prayerworks #biblestudy #confidentwoman #shannonpopkins #controlgirls #wellwateredwomen #motivation #graceupongrace #inspiration #seekyefirst #propelwomen #christian #faithbased #scripture #biblejournaling #womensretreat #phyliciamasonheimer #stopcallingmebeautifulbook⠀
@theilluminatedlife_ministry @lakeanncamp_mi⠀
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https://www.theilluminatedlife.org/events
When I feel inadequate, I secretly start looking around for some other way I’m exceptional.
If I’m outdone I look for a way to outdo.
If I feel less than, I want to make a mental list of the ways I am greater than.
But look at how my focus is constantly on ME!
Isn’t there more humility—when I feel inadequate or less than—in saying, “Actually I do have less of that in my measuring cup by God’s design.”
Can I live in a universe where God gives more to some and less to others? Can I trust Him to be Lord over that? If so, I’m able to settle myself—not in resignation, but contentment and trust.
I can be inspired by a friend, sister, or neighbor without being jealous of her. I can stop the constant self-focus. And I can get back to work investing and pouring out whatever God HAS put in my measuring cup, rather than worrying about what he hasn’t.
#comparisongirl
{GIVEAWAY!} Are you looking for a fun way to surprise your girl or granddaughter this summer? Check out the #shinebrightly Activity Box from @GEMSGirlsClubs! Ages 7-12
Since I don't have any girls at my house in that age range, I'm GIVING MY BOX AWAY! To enter: message me or comment below and tell me one way you're praying for your girl (or a girl you know!) this summer. When I read your comment, I'll pray that prayer with you!
This box has a special focus on friendship and is filled with DIY crafts and recipes, faith-filled devotions, and everything FUN in between! Check it out and order today. #linkinbio
Several friends asked me about Generous Giving after seeing my post this weekend...
Generous Giving promises:
A safe place to explore the concept of generosity.
Never ask you for money.
Never tell you how or where to give.
True or False: Surplus creates risks just like scarcity creates risks.
True or False: Surplus reveals your heart toward God just like scarcity does.
True or False: Surplus creates an opportunity to trust God and surrender to Him, just like scarcity does.
Did you pick True / True / True?
It's not as easy to see surplus as a risk, but the Bible offers warning after warning about the dangers of wealth and greed. I'm so thankful that Generous Giving creates these safe places to talk about and be inspired by generosity.
I love how their intro video closes: "We want something FOR you, not FROM you." When our hearts are shaped by generosity, it truly is a gift to us.
Let me know if you have questions! Ken and I are facilitators, so we can either help answer your question or point to the people who can. :)
@generous.giving
Okay, it's time to get down to business. It's summer, and I have work to do!
I'm starting to realize that my spring and fall months (at least for the foreseeable future) will be too busy and disjointed with speaking to get much writing done. So I'm planning to make summer and winter my quiet, alone-in-the-office days.
I have several goals, but first one on my list is this one:
My friend @leenienhuis and I are planning to write our #teencomparisongirl book! We've heard from So. Many. Women. (like you?) who see the need for this book!
Here's my caption for this photo: "We need YOU to pray for us!!" Will you join us in praying for God's empowering wisdom and strength to finish this project?
If you've read Comparison Girl (for grownups), tell me which part definitely needs to go in the teen book. I'd love to hear your thoughts!
#teenbook #comparison #itsaproblem #ourgirlsneedtruth #pleasepray #measureupworld #livingmefree
“It’s not about me serving him,” Katherine Barnhart says. “It’s about the Lord glorifying himself in and through me. And the paradigm shift there is that I’m not the one in control. He’s the one in control.”⠀
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Isn’t that so true? ⠀
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It was a joy to facilitate this Journey of Generosity retreat for a group of U of M students and alums, associated with @newlifea2 this weekend (thanks for inviting us @nataliejoynorton !)
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What a joy to have intentional conversations with young men (and 1 woman!) about money and wealth and to dream big about what it might look like to live a generous life! ⠀
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Thanks to @generous.giving for these amazing opportunities you create to have safe, open conversations💰which don’t conclude with an ask. 😉⠀
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By the way, if you haven’t, you should watch Alan and Katherine Barnhart’s story—which we share when we facilitate a @generous.giving retreat (link in bio). ⠀
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Katherine shares about wanting to be an overseas missionary, but instead doing what at first seemed like “second best” by staying in the US and stewarding funds generated by their extremely successful family business (they give away 20 million each year!). Katherine sees now that God wanted her to let Him be in control of what it would look like for her to glorify Him. ⠀
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So encouraging and inspiring!⠀
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#generousgiving #jogretreat @nationalchristianfoundation #stewardship #moneymatters #givingministry #youcanttakeitwithyou #youcansenditahead #hestheowner #entrustedstewards ⠀
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I’m praying for a group of women in SC who are attending their church’s first retreat this weekend! I get to “join them” virtually by way of the teaching videos for Comparison Girl.
Aren’t these measuring cup gifts pretty? The women planning this retreat LOVE their women.
If you’re up for it, please join me in praying for God to meet them and move them this weekend!
They wrap up tomorrow morning. 🙏🏼❤️🥰
#womensretreat #comparisongirl #MeFreeLiving #WordsOfJesus #Upside downComparison #lastshallbefirst #greatestistheservant
And just like that, he's a senior in high school. Where has the time gone? I miss that little curly-headed boy. But so proud of the man he's becoming.
He'll be working at camp this summer - which means Ken and I will be empty nesters! But it's not like we see him much when he's here... Most often he's downstairs creating some amazing new song and can't hear me because he has headphones on (God save his hearing!).
Has anybody, checked out https://cadepopkin.wixsite.com/music ?
#hesasenior #alwaysmybaby #offtocamp #goserveJesus #andhaveablast #wouldntwantyoutomissit
Should I really be surprised that I can’t keep up with someone a foot taller, forty pounds lighter, and a decade younger? And what if my shorter legs, extra padding, and lower capacity level was actually woven into my DNA by God himself?
What if God has a shorter, smaller list of assignments for me than he has for those he designed to walk faster and accomplish more? When my assignment list for myself is longer and loftier than God’s list for me, this isn’t something to be proud of. I’m aiming to please myself, not God.
I'm sharing "3 Crippling Effects of Comparison" on my blog. Link in bio.
#comparisoncripples #measureupmindset #getaheadpride #humilityisbetter #owningmydifferent #Godmadeyouspecial #beyounother #loveyourownpackaging #Godonlymadeoneyou #heisforyou #runningstride #keepyourownpace #pushingyourself #riskofburnout #riskofwashingout #riskofmissingout
One man asked me, "How would a husband present this book and not get a frying pan to his head?" The question made me laugh, but I understand the concern.
It wasn't marketing genius to write my first book on a topic no one wants to claim, and people feel uncomfortable giving to their wives or friends or moms.
If you'd like to give this book to a friend, I have several suggestions in this post, which is part of my Control Girl Q & A series - answering the most common questions I get about the topic of control.
#controlgirl #giftsthatoffend #howtobegentle #severalideas
Palestine. South Africa. Jordan. Israel. Michigan. Dominican Republic.
Denominations. Grace. Preaching the Gospel to ourselves continually.
Serving. Writing. Waiting. Moving.
This little cluster of friends covered a lot of ground in just a couple of hours, wouldn't you say? Do you have any friends like that?
So grateful for you both, @aylinmerck and @katemotaung !
#writerfriends #meetupinmichigan #instantconversation #knithearts #thankyouJesus
In my interview with @kathilipp this week, she told about a woman who was trying to get in 20,000 steps a day, so she joined a walking club. But to keep up with the group, the woman had to alter her stride. ⠀
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Now, Kathi and I will both tell you to surround yourself with people who inspire and push you forward. But we think you should also beware of trying to BE them, not you.
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Read about what happened to the woman, and what could happen to you, too, if you push past your God-given capacity in my new post, “3 Crippling Effects of Comparison”. (Link in bio).⠀
And watch for my 4-part interview on #writingattheredhouse podcast, coming up soon!
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#comparisoncripples #measureupmindset #getaheadpride #humilityisbetter #owningmydifferent #Godmadeyouspecial #beyounother #loveyourownpackaging #Godonlymadeoneyou #heisforyou #runningstride #keepyourownpace #pushingyourself #burnout #washout #missout #ownyourdifferent
@lpopkin98 so fun to see/meet your friends. Good job choosing good ones! So proud of all 4 of you! (And thanks for humoring me with the old trampoline kaleidoscope photos😉.)
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God, would you bless and keep these four amazing young women, as they live to lift your name high?
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26 NIV
#libertygrads #collegefriends #mygirlandherfriends
What if God is MORE pleased when I DON'T get as much done? What if He smiles when I humble myself and say, "Hey guys? I'm going to hang back a bit..." and then walk or work at my own healthy-for-me pace? ⠀
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Certainly there are times to surround myself with those who inspire and push me forward. But comparison can also cripple me and hold me back. ⠀
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I can think of at least 3 ways, which I wrote about in my latest post (link in my bio). Can you think of any? ⠀
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I'll get you started: ⠀
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When I try to match the stride of someone who is stronger, more established, or has more capacity, it has the potential to....⠀
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#comparisoncripples #measureupmindset #getaheadpride #humilityisbetter #owningmydifferent #Godmadeyouspecial #beyounother #loveyourownpackaging #Godonlymadeoneyou #heisforyou #runningstride #keepyourownpace #pushingyourself #riskofburnout #riskofwashingout #riskofmissingout⠀
What's your earliest memory, and what does it reveal about you? We talked about this on @lainelawsoncraft 's podcast this week (link in my bio).
Mine happened in the church balcony at about age four. A woman sitting behind me made me feel exposed as "less than" in front of everybody!
Listen in for more on comparison, not measuring up, and how to be free!
#comparisongirl #feelinglessthan #whatdoesjesussay #livingbythespout #spoutnotlines #philippians2
Are you in a small group? A few years ago, I decided I didn’t have time for a small group anymore. I was traveling a lot and busy with my kids’ activities. But after two years, I saw my heart drifting.
It’s so good for me (and I really think all of us) to connect regularly with other disciples of Jesus, who want to be consistent in the Word!
I studied Genesis this with this group of women, under the guidance of @jenwilkin and the support of our #adabiblethrive women’s ministry.
I loved watching God grow our group (only two of us here in the photo were there the first night!) and grow each of us through it—as we encountered challenges, breakups, loss, and heartache. But also joys—like a new house, new pregnancy, wedding and more.
Praising God for all of the ways He met us in the pages of his Word this year! #togetherwethrive @adawomenthrive @adabiblewomen @cortrhoran
Has your Bible study wrapped up for the year? Summer break is a great time to gather some new ideas for leading, or even starting a group for the first time! If you’d like a plan for gathering women, starting strong, and leading well, check out my #smallgroup #biblestudy #leadertraining course ! Link in bio.
#smallgrouptraining #biblestudyfellowship #smallgroups #leadershipdevelopment #grouplaunch #summerreboot #stopthedrift #whatsnext #LeaderDon’tQuit #OvercomingFear #TipsAndTricks #PlanWell #OvercomingChallenges #leaderchallenges #womensministrytoolbox #womensministry #womensministryideas #womensministryleader
