When I’m pouring, 

I’m not measuring. 

Do you compare yourself?

 On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you push yourself to prove that you measure up, then feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me as—with humor and straightforward honesty—I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride in this six-week study. Together, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!

 

 

 

Releasing May 19, 2020

Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer. 

Lynn Cowell

Proverbs 31 Speaker, Author of Make Your Move

If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!

Jill Savage

Author of No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, and No More Perfect Marriages

Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer. 

Erica Wiggenhorn

Author of Unexplainable Jesus: Rediscovering the God You Thought You Knew by Moody Publishers

Podcast & Program Interviews – Comparison Girl

LIFE Today TV

with Randy Robison

It was a joy to join Randy on LIFE Today to talk about Comparison. I especially appreciated the opportunity to talk about our current political and social climate, and how Christians are not to “compare down” in self-righteous disgust or condescension toward those who disagree OR those who sin differently than we do.

FamilyLife Today

with Bob Lapine and Dave & Ann Wilson

Do you remember the time you felt like you didn’t measure up? I do. It was sixth grade camp, and I told the story here on the FamilyLife broadcast. 

It’s not always comfortable to tell the world how I’ve struggled (and still do!) with feeling inadequate. My hope, in sharing about my own Comparison Girl journey, is to invite others to Jesus’s me-free living in a measure-up world.

Here’s the two-part broadcast:

Moms in Prayer

with Lee Nienhuis

Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, as you get “back-to-school” updates from your school, church, and local governments? Join Lee Nienhuis and I as we talk about our illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and how to respond today with the uncertainties of tomorrow.

Grounded

with Erin Davis & Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts’s daily response to Covid-19 crisis is to remind us to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. I’m delighted to join Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis to talk about the role of comparison in our current crisis, and how to respond like Jesus.

Art of Friendship

With Kim Wier

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.

Martha & Mary Show

Listen in to our conversation for both Martha-types and Mary-types as I talk about comparison with my dear friends, Katie Reid and Lee Nienhuis.

Redefining Balance Podcast

With Jenny Stemmerman

On this podcast for Christian working moms, Jenny and I talked about comparison and the impact it has on the way we see ourselves and others. We also talked about the “race to the bottom” and the difference it makes when – instead of trying to prove that we’re the “hottest mess”, we choose to be humbly vulnerable with each other.

Coming Alive with Jenn Hand

with Jenn Hand

Laugh with Jenn and I as we tell about our first impressions of each other (yes, we were both comparing), and compare our patterns of collecting coffee mugs – which are completely opposite. Plus we’ll talk plenty about Jesus and his unique way of comparing. 

 

The Notice

with Susan Hoekstra

It was a joy to get to know Susan on my launch team and talk with her about leaning in and say, “Yeah, me too…” and share our both our feelings of inadequacies and also the secret enjoyment we have in outdoing others. 

 

The Debbie Chavez Show

with Debbie Chavez

You can’t have a conversation with Debbie and not receive a little joy that spills over from her life. Listen in as Debbie and I talk about:

 how comparison is like a drug
• escaping comparison by listening to Jesus
• looking-down-your-nose comparison
• drowning-in-shame comparison
• comparing our physical appearances
• how serving changes the way we see others and ourselves

Christian Publishing Show

Overcoming Fear and Comparison 

If you’re a writer, speaker, or ministry leader, you’ve probably had to grapple with both fear and comparison as you’ve stepped out to use your gifts for God. 

Listen in as my co-author Kate Motaung and I have a conversation with Thomas Umstattd Jr. Brought to you by the Steve Laube Agency.

Comparison Girl Launch Party

Special thanks to these 5 Endorsers, who each made an appearance at my online launch party to chat about comparison and you can find them at these places in the video.

Erica Wiggenhorn: 34:12

Alicia Bruxvoort: 48:39

Barb Roose: 1:02:09

Katie Reid: 1:17:15

Lee Nienhuis: 1:30:23

   Comparison Girl Companion Journal

 

 This journal is a companion to Comparison Girl and offers:

  • A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
  • Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
  • Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses we’ll study and additional observation study and discussion questions.
  • Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey

Shannon combines Jesus’ teachings with brilliant spiritual insights and powerful tools like “The Disgust Challenge” that invite you to leave Comparison Girl living behind in favor of freedom in Christ. If you want to love people more, let go of beating yourself up or learn how to shake off our culture’s “me-first” mindset, then grab Comparison Girl and gather some friends so that you can share this experience together.

Barb Roose

Aspire Women’s Events’ speaker and author of Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus

Comparison. We all fight it. But for many of us, it feels like we are losing the battle. Why? Because what we need to combat comparison is not simply the knowledge that it hurts us, but the tools to resist it, and that is exactly what Shannon Popkin has given us. With fresh insight, biblical grounding, and light-hearted humor, Comparison Girl offers practical steps for curbing this temptation. If comparison is your struggle, this book is your guide!
Sharon Hodde Miller

Author of Free of Me: Why Life is Better When It's Not About You

Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.

Lee Nienhuis

Moms in Prayer Podcast host, Speaker, and Author of Countercultural Parenting

With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!

Alicia Bruxvoort

Speaker and Writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries

 

 

 

Comparison Girl Video Teaching Series

These six video sessions compliment the six chapters in Comparison Girl.  However the book can be used independent of the videos.

(UPDATE: My publisher has decided to delay releasing these videos. I’m so sorry about any frustration this has caused you! My hope is to get these to you as soon as possible. For more information, please use the contact tab. To get release info, sign up for leader information.)

Each teaching session is about 18 – 25 minutes long.

Learn More

In the Comparison Girl Companion Journal, you’ll find extra observation study questions for further reflection and discussion about the passage discussed in the video session. Also in the companion journal, you’ll find space for taking notes and the printed passages of Scripture—ready for you to mark and highlight, as we study together. In addition, we have the Bible verses which you may print out here.

As Comparison Girls, we have a lot to think through. If we’re going to break free from the bondage and isolation which stem from our measure-up mindset, we’re going to have to start learning to listen for the voice of our Jesus, not the voice of our enemy. These teaching sessions provide a way to do just that.

Comparison is a sneaky issue that can work its way into almost any situation. But is all comparison bad? Through her in-depth study of the Scriptures, Shannon Popkin reveals two sides to this prevalent issue: negative, sinful comparison and positive, biblical comparison. This book both convicted me of the sinful tendencies hidden in my own heart and encouraged me to view myself and others through the eyes of Christ.
Kate Motaung

Author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging

In a sideways-glancing, elbow-jamming, status-grasping culture, Comparison Girl supplies an upside-down approach to an age-old problem. Shannon Popkin exposes the crippling effects that comparison has on our forward-motion in the Kingdom, yet also demonstrates how healthy comparison can inspire us to rise and walk free. Discover how to exchange feelings of superiority for a lifestyle of service and feelings of inferiority for a lifetime of belonging.
Katie M. Reid

Author of Made Like Martha, speaker, co-host of The Martha + Mary Show podcast

Comparison Girl is a needed resource for today’s women. I love how Shannon takes us through comparison in Scripture, acknowledging how normal it is for us to compare, but also providing biblical principles for how to manage it and take our eyes off of others and direct them to Jesus Christ.
Brenda Yoder

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, Speaker

Harvard University did a study, asking people which they would prefer: A salary of 50K when everyone else had 25K? Or a salary of 100K when everyone else had a salary of 200K.

What percentage of people chose option 1? You can add your guess in the comments.

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Come listen in to my full conversation with Kim Wier on the "Art of Friendships" podcast, where we talk about these questions and more. Link in bio https://hopeondemand.com/article/aof-e023

#comparisongirl #spoutnotlines #pouringnotmeasuring #upsidedowncomparisons #lastshallbefirst #greatestistheservant #podcast #artoffriendship @kiminnac
...

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That’s my guy, reading my book. So grateful for him.

#comparisongirl #myhusband #hesoneofthegoodguys
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Are you driven to prove that you measure up? Jesus did exactly the opposite. He emptied himself, and invites you to do the same.

What is he inviting you to empty yourself of today?
Jealousy?
Pride?
Boastfulness?
Status?
Perfectionism?
The need to be right?
The need to be respected?
Fear of what people think?

When we tip our measuring cups to pour ourselves out, our great God fills those empty spaces with more joy, more freedom, and more peace. He fills us with Himself.

Jesus—whose measuring cup is bigger than the universe and brimming full—took all His fullness and emptied himself (Phil.2:7). How is He asking you to do the same?

Www.comparisongirl.com

#ComparisonGirl #LastWillBeFirst #GreatestIsTheServant #SpoutnotLines #StopMeasuring #StartPouring
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Hey mamas, how you doing? Feeling boxed in? Worried about how this pandemic is affecting your kids? Frustrated with all the outcomes that are unraveling?

We get you. We have the same concerns. And like you, we want to know what Jesus would have us do in response.

Join my friend @leenienhuis (we took this selfie together a year or so ago) and I on the @momsinprayer podcast for a conversation on comparison, control, and surrendering the unknowns of COVID-19.

Link in bio. https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-x6kh8-e3e673

#MomsInPrayer #WhatICanControl #WhatICan’tControl #PouringNotMeasuring #ComparisonGirl #ControlGirl
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“Mothers everywhere are facing the same anxiety producing decisions about sending their kids to school this fall. While questions abound about our immediate futures, author and Bible teacher, Shannon Popkin, says maybe loss of control is just what our Heavenly Father will use to help us grow. Today, Lee sits down with Shannon to discuss the illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and walking in faith with our families during these uncertain times.”

I always love connecting with my friend @leenienhuis ! If you’re feeling weary, overwhelmed, frustrated… We are praying that this conversation will be an encouragement and support to you, friend! Link in my bio.

#ComparisonGirl #MomsInPrayer #PrayerChangesThings #PrayerChangesMe #StopMeasuring #StartPouring #Spoutnotlines
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“I am a Comparison Girl. I never wanted to play into the enemy’s plan for dismantling my contentment and peace, and I suspect you don’t want to either. So it’s high time we cast aside our measuring mentality and adopt a new way. Shannon Popkin expertly walks us through the markers and mistakes of this measure-up world and gently points us to a better way. With humor and brutal honesty, Shannon fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility, and truth.”
—Lee Nienhuis, author and host of the Moms in Prayer podcast

I'm so thankful for my friend, Lee, and the many ways she encourages me to press on in ministry. Lee is the real deal. I have watched her over the past couple of years faithfully choosing to serve the Lord, come what may. I love her heart for Jesus and am so grateful for her support on this new book (especially since she her own book #counterculturalparenting was launching at the same time!).

Find her at www.leenienhuis.com or @leenienhuis and tune in tomorrow (Monday) for my conversation with Lee on the Moms in Prayer podcast. Love you, Lee!

#sistersinministry #thankfulforyou #endorsement #biblestudy #comparisongirl
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Have you been measuring yourself against somebody else? Your house? Your kids? Your marriage? Your carreer? Your waist size?

"When they measure themselves by themselves... they are not wise," wrote missionary Paul, to the church he had planted in Corinth.

He was responding to critical concerns raised by some people who were saying he didn't measure up, compared to other leaders. Paul rightly defended himself, saying that HE wasn't the problem; they were because they were foolishly measuring their leaders against each other.

Wise people don't measure themselves or others against each other. Wise people recognize that God fills some measuring cups with more, and others with less and that's up to Him.

A wise servant of the Lord simply takes what she has - her house, her kids, her marriage, her job, and even her body, and uses the one life she's been given to serve the Lord and others.

How can you wisely take this week, this day, this summer, or this life and start focusing on your measuring cup's spout, not the lines?

#spoutnotlines
#comparisongirl
#measureupworld
#livingmefree
#itsnotaboutme
#servingsetsmefree
#livingbythespout
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Is there someone who's making you feel small? Maybe she’s prettier than you. Or more productive with her time. Maybe she’s a better decorator. Maybe she serves her kids wild caught salmon and organic veggies and you serve yours fish sticks and fries...

Do you find yourself wanting to avoid her, because next to her you feel measure up SMALL?

That's obviously how the disciples felt, the day they were arguing about who's the greatest on the road to Capernaum. Why would they posture and puff up, if they weren't feeling small?

If you wonder how Jesus would respond to your frustrations over being made to feel small, look how he responded to the disciples. He called them in for an object lesson. Taking a baby into his arms, Jesus said, "Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

You and I might have pointed at Peter, James, or John as an example of greatness, but Jesus turned their attention to the smallest person in the room. “Want to be great? Be a little person,” he said.

Kingdom greats are those who choose to see themselves as small. This involves a "littling of self" but not a belittling of self. That’s an important distinction.

Humility isn't denying that we have MORE in our measuring cups - whether more gifts or talents or resources. That's not what Jesus was asking these disciples to do. Instead Jesus was asking them to pour out that "extra" in their measuring cups, rather than using the extra to prop ourselves up.

Humility isn't denying that I have more, but it's also not shaming myself when I have LESS in my measuring cup. It's recognizing that if God wanted me to have more, he would have given it. So instead of shrinking back or sulking, I'm going to take what little I have and get busy with pouring.

Interested in more? Check out my new book at www.comparisongirl.com.

#comparisongirl #greatestistheservant #firstwillbelast #lastwillbefirst #wordsofJesus #sheepknowhisvoice
...

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As we inch toward the school year, there is much uncertainty, conflicting information, change, and stress. And here's what will compound it all: glancing sideways to measure what I'm pouring out (as a mom, in ministry, at work, etc.) with what she is.

Can I encourage you with some words from Jesus? Our Lord never told us that we were supposed to produce as much as or more than somebody else. (Look at the story of the vineyard workers in Matt. 20.) He never shamed anybody because they had less to give. (Look at the story of the widow who gave two copper coins in Luke 21.)

Jesus encouraged each of us to take whatever is in our measuring cup and use it - not to lift ourselves up, but to serve the world.

Friend, you and I might have different amounts in our measuring cups, and we might be called upon to pour out in different ways during these trying times. But regardless of our differences, we each have equal opportunity to tip our cups, pour out what we have, and serve. Which means we each have opportunity to pursue kingdom greatness!

"The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts [herself] will be humbled, and whoever humbles [herself] will be exalted. (Matt. 23:11-12)


#comparisongirl #greatestistheservant #firstwillbelast #lastwillbefirst #wordsofJesus #sheepknowhisvoice
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As one of Jesus's sheep, you must listen for his voice. You must listen long and listen carefully so that your ears are so tuned the voice of Jesus that you can reject messages that aren't from Him.

Messages like, "You're not enough." Or, "Nobody loves you." Or, "You're not worth it. You'll never measure up." Friend, these are things that Jesus would never say. He's never said anything that sounds remotely like this (check your Bible). If Jesus is your master, his words must matter most.

We need to be women who are ready to capture inferiority thoughts and hold them captive, rather than letting them run rampant through our minds to do their destructive damage. We need to be women who say, "I will reject thoughts of inferiority, which aren't from Jesus."

For a set of prayers like this, sign up for my free Comparison Girl bonuses - link in bio. Learn more at www.comparisongirl.com.

#comparingup #comparingdown #measuringup #pouringout #livingmefree #comparisongirl
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Here's the tip I got to share in the wrap up of our Speak Up panel on Platform-Building: As influencers, we must continue the ongoing work of sorting out our motives.

So often, we set out with a heart to selflessly share what God has first given us. But there's no denying social media's strong undertow of self-interest.

Instead of simply desiring to serve and give and share, my motives are muddied with a desire to receive praise, get applause, and gain recognition.

In our book Influence, I shared a Heart Sifter tool which helps weed out the impure motives, so we can see the ones which are pleasing to God, and make our next decisions. (Check out more on this book at www.shannonpopkin.com/influence/ )

But for the daily, little choices about what will I post, how will I steward my time, and how will I interact on social media, it's helpful to regularly return to these two questions:

Am I here to serve others, or myself?
Am I here to lift up Jesus or me?

#elevatingJesusnotme #shinebrightly #followmeasifollowhim #lifthimhigh #influencebook #christianwriters #christianspeakers #speakuprocks2020 #SpeakUpRocks @katemotaung @fiveminutefriday
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TODAY: I'll be joining my friend, Michelle Nietert, on her facebook page LIVE today at 11:30 CST (12:30 EST)!

Michelle has been doing an amazing job of building enthusiasm and giving you a window into the Speak Up conference as she interviews various faculty members each week. But THIS week, we're teeing things up, because the conference begins tomorrow!!

So if you're attending Speak Up, or interested in someday attending, please join us as we talk about Speaking Up as Christians. #SpeakUpRocks #SpeakingUp #ChristianWriters #ChristianSpeakers #WritersConference #PlatformBuilding #StartsTomorrow #InsiderScoop
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New trailer video!
Learn more at www.comparisongirl.com
#comparisongirl
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In this podcast interview, you’ll hear my first impression of Jen, then her version of the story. Plus our difference in coffee mug collection. And some great truth on finding freedom from measure-up living. #linkinbio

Here’s Jen:
・・・
It is so easy to get in a comparison trap as we scroll social media or look at others lives .

I loved talking with my friend @shannonpopkin about how to pour instead of trying so hard to measure up .

Join us by searching Coming Alive Conversations on your favorite podcast app or by going to www.comingaliveministries.com #comingaliveconversations
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Is comparison bringing you down?

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