Hey, I’m Shannon.

And I’ve been a Comparison Girl for as long as I can remember. Literally, my first memory at age four, is of feeling humiliated because someone found out that I could not read. Oh, the humiliation!

It seems silly now. Why was I so worried about being exposed as an illiterate preschooler? Yet some of my current struggles are just as absurd. Why do I worry about being exposed as a less-than-perfect mom? Or a middle-aged woman who struggles with her weight? Or a Christian who still sins?

The constant effort to prove that I measure up (or try to hide when I don’t), does not lead to a life of freedom and joy. Here’s what does: learning to live me-free. I hope you’ll stick around and join me in learning these lessons from Jesus on me-free living in a measure-up world! 

Is this the first time we’ve met? Welcome! If you have more questions about me, come visit my “about me” page! 

Do you compare yourself?

 

On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you drive yourself to prove that you measure up? Do you feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me, as I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride. In this six-week study, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and the stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!

“Comparison. We all fight it. But for many of us, it feels like we are losing the battle. Why? Because what we need, to combat comparison, is not simply the knowledge that it hurts us, but the tools to resist it, and that is exactly what Shannon Popkin has given us. With fresh insight, biblical grounding, and light-hearted humor, Comparison Girl offers practical steps for curbing this temptation. If comparison is your struggle, this book is your guide!”

Sharon Hodde Miller

Author, Speaker, Bible Teacher

If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!

Jill Savage

Author of No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, and No More Perfect Marriages

Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer.

Erica Wiggenhorn

Author of Unexplainable Jesus: Rediscovering the God You Thought You Knew by Moody Publishers

Leader’s Kit

Now Available!

  • 6 Teaching Sessions, which correlate with the chapters of the book
  • DVD + digital downloads
  • One Comparison Girl book
  • One Journaling Workbook
  • Leader Discussion Guide

Each session is about 18 – 25 minutes long. Dive deeper into what Jesus teaches about the difference between comparison in the world and comparison in the Kingdom.

Sign up for leader updates.

Journaling Workbook

The companion Comparison Girl Workbook offers:

  • A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
  • Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
  • Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses and additional observation study and discussion questions.
  • Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey.
  • Available either as part of the Leader’s Kit, or as a separate purchase.

Get the Comparison Girl Bonuses:

This book is what I would consider a must read. That’s a lot coming from a 65 year old woman who has walked with Jesus for 47 years and is well read. Here’s the deal. This book caused me to face some things about my own comparisons and how I measure myself against others. It helped me call some unhealthy things out in my own life that I never stopped to realize or face. I am being transparent here because that’s how much I think this book can help any woman who compares with others, finds herself jealous or feeling insignificant or insecure. From years of women’s ministry, I think that might be a lot of us. Thank you Shannon for a remarkable message! (Review on Amazon.)

Debbie Alsdorf

Author and Speaker

Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer. 

Lynn Cowell

Proverbs 31 Speaker, Author of Make Your Move

FamilyLife Today

with Bob Lapine and Dave & Ann Wilson

Do you remember the first time you felt like you didn’t measure up? I do. It was sixth grade camp, and I told the story here on the FamilyLife broadcast.

It’s not always comfortable to tell the world how I’ve struggled (and still do!) with feeling inadequate. My hope, in sharing about my own Comparison Girl journey, is to invite others to Jesus’s me-free living in a measure-up world.

Here’s the two-part broadcast:

Grounded

with Erin Davis & Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts’s daily response to Covid-19 crisis is to remind us to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. I’m delighted to join Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis to talk about the role of comparison in our current crisis, and how to respond like Jesus.

Moms in Prayer

with Lee Nienhuis

Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, as you get “back-to-school” updates from your school, church, and local governments? Join Lee Nienhuis and I as we talk about our illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and how to respond today with the uncertainties of tomorrow.

No More Perfect Podcast

with Jill Savage

Jill has been talking about this topic of comparison and perfectionism and how they divide us way longer than I have. She had some great things to add to our conversation as we discussed comparing in two directions–one where we come out better than someone else and one where we come out worse than someone else. When we compare “up,” we experience jealousy. When we compare “down,” we experience disgust. 

Listen in and be reminded that when Jesus interacted with people comparing themselves, he never said, “Just stop comparing!” Instead He turns it upside down and invites us to the freedom and joy of me-free living.

 

Coming Alive with Jenn Hand

with Jenn Hand

Laugh with Jenn and I as we tell about our first impressions of each other (yes, we were both comparing), and compare our patterns of collecting coffee mugs – which are completely opposite. Plus we’ll talk plenty about Jesus and his unique way of comparing. 

 

Compared to Who?

with Heather Creekmore

It’s really an author’s dread. You’re scrolling Amazon, and see a book on YOUR book’s same topic. But what about if your book’s topic is comparison?!
It will take some humility, but it COULD mean that you’re meant to be friends.
I so appreciate my new friend and fellow “Comparison Girl” Heather Creekmore. She’s the real deal, y’all. I love her heart for the LORD and her willingness to invite the “other author” onto her show that’s all about comparison: @comparedtowho
I hope you’ll love our conversation, and become a regular listener of “Compared to Who?”
GEMS Girls Clubs

with Cindy Bultema

It was a joy to connect with my friend Cindy Bultema at GEMS (Girls Everywhere Meeting the Savior), and talk about Comparison at Christmas.
 
You know, I so relate with the disciples who were always trying to elbow past each other, asking, “Who’s the greatest? How do I measure up?” But Jesus taught them to ask a better question.
 
The Love Offering

with Rachael Adams

I so enjoyed my conversation with Rachael, and I hope you will, too! Here are some quotes from our conversation:

  • “This desire to be in control and compare the things I can’t control overlapped more than I realized.” 
  • “My heart seems to be bent toward pride and perfection and measuring up in the eyes of other people and it doesn’t lead to freedom and joy.” 
  • “We’ve got to handle the problem with comparison before we even go over to the window.”
  • “He’s inviting us to adopt a me-free mindset. I’m not here to prove I’m better than you. I’m here to serve you.”
  • “When you’re feeling inadequate you want to retreat and pull away. The enemy attacks us in isolation. We need to get out of the corner.”
LIFE Today TV

with Randy Robison

It was a joy to join Randy on LIFE Today to talk about Comparison. I especially appreciated the opportunity to talk about our current political and social climate, and how Christians are not to “compare down” in self-righteous disgust or condescension toward those who disagree OR those who sin differently than we do.

Redefining Balance Podcast

With Jenny Stemmerman

On this podcast for Christian working moms, Jenny and I talked about comparison and the impact it has on the way we see ourselves and others. We also talked about the “race to the bottom” and the difference it makes when – instead of trying to prove that we’re the “hottest mess”, we choose to be humbly vulnerable with each other.

Martha & Mary Show

Listen in to our conversation for both Martha-types and Mary-types as I talk about comparison with my dear friends, Katie Reid and Lee Nienhuis.

Art of Friendship

With Kim Wier

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.

Your Spiritual Game Plan

with Cheri Fletcher

Cheri invites us as women, to live out our true callings—which stay consistent, throughout all the seasons of life. Comparison and the desire to measure up distracts us from God’s purpose for our lives. But what if we approached comparison with me-free humility? Rather than having our eyes on ourselves, what if we entered a room of people, saying, “I’m not here to prove that I have more or am more. I’m just here to share what’s in my measuring cup. What God has given me.” That’s when we are most fee to be ourselves.

 

The Notice

with Susan Hoekstra

It was a joy to get to know Susan on my launch team and talk with her about leaning in and say, “Yeah, me too…” and share our both our feelings of inadequacies and also the secret enjoyment we have in outdoing others. 

 

The Debbie Chavez Show

with Debbie Chavez

You can’t have a conversation with Debbie and not receive a little joy that spills over from her life. Listen in as Debbie and I talk about:

 how comparison is like a drug
• escaping comparison by listening to Jesus
• looking-down-your-nose comparison
• drowning-in-shame comparison
• comparing our physical appearances
• how serving changes the way we see others and ourselves

Christian Publishing Show

Overcoming Fear and Comparison 

If you’re a writer, speaker, or ministry leader, you’ve probably had to grapple with both fear and comparison as you’ve stepped out to use your gifts for God. 

Listen in as my co-author Kate Motaung and I have a conversation with Thomas Umstattd Jr. Brought to you by the Steve Laube Agency.

Comparison Girl Launch Party

Special thanks to these 5 Endorsers, who each made an appearance at my online launch party to chat about comparison and you can find them at these places in the video.

Erica Wiggenhorn: 34:12

Alicia Bruxvoort: 48:39

Barb Roose: 1:02:09

Katie Reid: 1:17:15

Lee Nienhuis: 1:30:23

Comparison Girl Chapters & Quotes:

Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.

Lee Nienhuis

Moms in Prayer Podcast host, Speaker, and Author of Countercultural Parenting

With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!

Alicia Bruxvoort

Speaker and Writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries

Comparison is a sneaky issue that can work its way into almost any situation. But is all comparison bad? Through her in-depth study of the Scriptures, Shannon Popkin reveals two sides to this prevalent issue: negative, sinful comparison and positive, biblical comparison. This book both convicted me of the sinful tendencies hidden in my own heart and encouraged me to view myself and others through the eyes of Christ.
Kate Motaung

Author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging

In a sideways-glancing, elbow-jamming, status-grasping culture, Comparison Girl supplies an upside-down approach to an age-old problem. Shannon Popkin exposes the crippling effects that comparison has on our forward-motion in the Kingdom, yet also demonstrates how healthy comparison can inspire us to rise and walk free. Discover how to exchange feelings of superiority for a lifestyle of service and feelings of inferiority for a lifetime of belonging.
Katie M. Reid

Author of Made Like Martha, speaker, co-host of The Martha + Mary Show podcast

Comparison Girl is a needed resource for today’s women. I love how Shannon takes us through comparison in Scripture, acknowledging how normal it is for us to compare, but also providing biblical principles for how to manage it and take our eyes off of others and direct them to Jesus Christ.
Brenda Yoder

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, Speaker

An Absurd Story of Being Fooled by God`s Enemy: Ep 34 on the Live Like It’s True podcast with @courtneycdoctor

How can we live like it’s true that the serpent in Genesis 3 was an intruder with a sinister agenda?

That’s what Courtney Doctor and I are discussing in this conversation, where she offers so much wisdom and insight on Genesis 3. Join us as we talk about how to live like this story is true!

https://wp.me/p7IZQm-884

#BiblePodcast #theBible #wordofGod #StudyGodsWord #BibleStudy #BiblesStory #Storytelling #StorytellingPodcast #ChristianPodcast #ChristianWomen #TheGospel #creationstory #createdbygod #thefall #gardenofeden #adamandeve #manandwife #manandwoman #inhisimage #forbiddenfruit #thedevilisaliar #genesisstudy #thetruthwillsetyoufree #falsenarratives #Genesis3 #thegospelcoalition
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Nobody would miss us if we skipped church, and my bed seems extra cozy this cold March morning.

We’ve only been attending our new church for about a year, so most Sundays we sit by people we don’t know. We’re still struggling with keeping names straight on those we do know. So why go? Why not stay home and watch online?

We have done that a few times. It’s just Ken and me, now. So we don’t have parenting in mind when we go to church.

Here’s why we go.

This is the most important part of our week. It’s the moment we gather with God’s people and worship God. We lift his name with our singing and read his word. We listen to sermons prepared by our shepherds, who love us and guide us. And we do all of this as a flock, not individuals. In a far more focused, collective way than we do at home.

You and I come to Jesus as individuals but we follow him as groups. On our own, it’s so easy for our hearts to wander. And there is something indescribably settling and stabilizing about being in that room as a flock.

At my church, we pack the room tight. There’s usually not a seat beside me to put my Bible on, and I love it. At my church, the chairs form a circle around the platform, so you look into the faces of brothers and sisters from every angle. At my church, there are a variety of worship styles and leaders, a number who preach, and a variety of ministries that give updates, and lead in prayer. It’s new every week.

Most importantly, my church is part of the CHURCH, the body of Christ—scattered across the globe, waiting as a bride for her groom. Waiting for the day we’re called home.

When I remind myself of all these things, my pillows look less comfy and it’s the Church that seems more inviting.

Where will you worship today?
...

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¡Hola, mis hermanas de habla hispana! ¡Únase a mí el 24 de marzo para recibir dos mensajes y algunas preguntas y respuestas sobre la comparación! Si ya has leído No te Compares, esto te ofrecerá un pequeño repaso y un nuevo pasaje bíblico que.

Puede encontrar el evento en Facebook o YouTube, organizado por:

@editorialportavoz
@clccolombia
@clcchile
@clcmexico
@clcpanama
@clc_peru
@clcuruguay
@clc_venezuela

¡Espero verte allí! 😘

#editorialportavoz #notecompares
...

45 11

"Depression, suicide, anxiety... these things are skyrocketing. We have to ask the question: What is wrong? What is not working? Ultimately it`s that we need to turn back to our Creator.

The greatest love I can give you is to tell you what your Creator says about you. Not what the world says about you, not what you say about you, not what culture says about "What is a man or a woman?" or "What about LGBTQ?"

The most loving thing I can offer you is to tell you what your Creator says about you." @krstnclark with @girldefined

Tune in to this week`s episode on the Live Like It`s True podcast, where Kristen Clark from Girl Defined and I are talking about, "Gender, Masturbation, and the Advice Found in Genesis". We`re looking back at our origin story from Genesis 1-3 and asking, "How can we live like this story is true?"

Tag a friend or share for a chance to win a copy of Kristen`s book, "Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl`s Heart". Also, check out @girldefined

Link in bio. https://wp.me/p7IZQm-8oO

#LiveLikeItsTrue #TrueStory #BiblePodcast #StudyGodsWord #BibleStudy #Storytelling #genesis #originstory #ChristianPodcast #ChristianWomen #GospelPodcast #genderbend #genderquestions #biblicalwomanhood #biblicalmarriage
#adamandeve #inthebeginning
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17 2

I’m piecing together (literally) chapter three, lesson 2—and piecing together in my mind, yet another way that I do what Sarai did.

[upcoming 📕with @ourdailybread !]

I look at the brittle branches in my life and feel so ashamed and inadequate that I’m driven to “add on” to the promises of God. I try to staple my own fruit to the tree—proving that I am good and right and someone God can depend on.

But I’ve got it backward. God wants ME to depend on HIM for the fruit that only He can produce.

What’s the brittle branch in your family or your story? Could it be that God is waiting until you’re sure that it’s Him producing this fruit, and not you?
#waitingongod #promisesofgod #shapedbythepromise
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Is fear paralyzing you? Is your busyness distracting you? Do your strongholds control you? Does your perspective distort you? Is your mediocrity diminishing you? Is your comfort pacifying you?

My friend @kjhuseby is releasing her book, She Who Dares TODAY!!

It’s an 8-week study on Learning to Live Dangerously for God. It will challenge you, encourage you and embolden you to live dangerously against the kingdom of evil.

Kristi says:

“I DARE you! Now is the time to say no to fear, and yes to God. Now is the time to unleash the power of God’s Holy Spirit, living in you. Now is the time to become a woman who DARES to live dangerously for God!” -Kristi Huseby

To learn more about Kristi, her global ministry to women and her book, visit her website: kristihuseby.com

Look for “She Who Dares” on Amazon.

https://amzn.to/3mqGa53

Congratulations, Kristi! I’m so proud of you!
...

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What does Genesis—which was written thousands of years before the church was born—have to say about women in ministry?

It’s a fair question, and I got to talk with my friend @designedbychey about it this week on the Live Like It’s True podcast!

Did you know Cheyenne is the one who created this painting, “Return to the Tree of Life”. Visit shannonpopkin.com to purchase!

#originstory
#creationstory
#Genesis
#AdamandEve
#painting
#watercolor
#treeofknowledgeofgoodandevil
#treeoflife
#livelikeitstrue
#podcast
#Biblepodcast
#overarchingstory
#onetruestory
#giveaway
#freepainting
#freeart
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25 1

“Pilgrim” with @arisecollectivetheatre @cornerstoneu ! It was incredibly moving. I am a Christian on a journey, and though I can’t see him, my King is with me—guiding, comforting, and protecting each leg of the journey.

I’m so grateful I have these beautiful pilgrims (my house church friends) with me on the journey. ❤️
...

35 2

Are there any women trying to control things at your church? And are there any shepherding men, who are ignoring the women at your church?

If you`ve ever rolled up your sleeves in church ministry, you know that there are often pitfalls and frustrations, when we—as men and women—try to blend our gifts in the church. In this episode, we`re going to talk about how to cultivate a fruitful complementarianism in the local church—one where brothers and sisters realize they are better together, by God`s design.

In this conversation, we`re talking again about Complementarianism. I have my friend Cheyenne Werner with me, talking about women`s ministry in the church, and what we learn about it in Genesis 1-3.

Cheyenne Werner @designedbychey

Be sure to check out Chey’s work!! She is a wife and mom, and women`s ministry coordinator at Peace Church, here in West Michigan, where I live. She`s also an artist and she created the "Return to the Tree of Life" painting, which coordinates with season 4.

Follow Chey @designedbychey

Find the new episode in my bio!

#LiveLikeItsTrue #TrueStory #BiblePodcast #theBible #wordofGod #StudyGodsWord #BibleStudy #BiblesStory #Storytelling #StorytellingPodcast #ChristianPodcast #ChristianWomen #TheGospel #creationstory #createdbygod #thefall #gardenofeden #adamandeve #manandwife #manandwoman #genesisstudy #thetruthwillsetyoufree #falsenarratives #thebible #knowthestory #Genesis1 #complentarianism #Bibleandmarriage #graceandhope
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“Underneath those desires was a heart filled with good needs to be seen and known and loved. That’s what we all have. We can see that in creation - studying Genesis 1 through 3, like we all want to be seen and known and loved. And ALL of us, because of the fall are born with a natural default, predisposition or orientation, if you will, to get the good needs of our heart met in ways that don’t actually satisfy, and don’t glorify God.” - @laurie_krieg

Catch this week’s bonus episode on the Live Like it’s True podcast.

Laurie Krieg is a coach/consultant, speaker, author, and podcast host whose mission is to equip Jesus-followers with a gospel-centered approach to sexuality.

Follow Laurie: @laurie_krieg

https://www.shannonpopkin.com/lgbt-marriage-genesis-laurie-krieg/

#LiveLikeItsTrue #TrueStory #BiblePodcast #theBible #wordofGod #StudyGodsWord #BibleStudy #BiblesStory #Storytelling #StorytellingPodcast #ChristianPodcast #ChristianWomen #TheGospel #creationstory #createdbygod #thefall #gardenofeden #adamandeve #manandwife #manandwoman #genesisstudy #thetruthwillsetyoufree #falsenarratives #thebible #knowthestory #Genesis1 #LGBT #Bibleandmarriage #graceandhope
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8 4

He sees it one way, and you see it another. You vote and it’s one to one. And just because you’re the woman, you’re supposed to submit??!

What does the Bible say about submission in marriage anyway?

If you heard my podcast episode with Brian Robinson on Complementarianism, you heard me tell the story about my husband buying the wrong shoes, and me saying, “I’m taking them back.”

Here are a few more thoughts about what I learned through that situation (and others like it) in a new blog post about the Bible’s instruction about submission in marriage.

https://www.shannonpopkin.com/marriage-differences/

Link in bio.
#biblicalwomanhood #submissioninmarriage #wivessubmit #complementarianism
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Here’s how to Live Like it’s True:

Think of each story in the Bible like a velvet pouch with a draw string that is filled with precious gems—ready for you, any time you want to rehearse the story, and treasure up truth about God.

Unless you know the true story, you can’t live it. So that’s what we’re after on the Live Like It’s True podcast.

We’re invested. We want to know the story, share the story, and live like the story is true.

#LiveLikeItsTrue #TrueStory #BiblePodcast #StudyGodsWord #BibleStudy #BiblesStory #Storytelling #StorytellingTips #StorytellingPodcast #ChristianPodcast #ChristianWomen #TheGospel #TheMicisOn

#thebible #wordofgod #truestoriesofthebible #whatstoryareyoutelling #knowthestory #sharethestory #livethestory #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #womanatthewell
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How can a skeptic give God control? Here’s a quote from my book, Control Girl: Lessons on Surrendering Your Burden of Control from Seven Women in the Bible.

Visit CONTROLGIRL.com for more.

#ControlGirl #Surrender #WaveTheWhiteFlag #ControllingMom #ControllingWife #LayDownYourBurdens #NotMyWill #FreedomInSurrender #Marriage #MarriageGoals #MarriageCounseling #TrustinMarriage #ReleasingControl #WomenoftheBible #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup
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From My Shop: 

Are you exhausted by measure-up comparison?

 

Get the Comparison Girl Bonuses 

& Learn to Live Me-Free in this Measure-Up World  

Great! Check your email (or spam) for a message from shannon@shannonpopkin.com.

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