Hey, I’m Shannon.

And I’ve been a Comparison Girl for as long as I can remember. Literally, my first memory at age four, is of feeling humiliated because someone found out that I could not read. Oh, the humiliation!

It seems silly now. Why was I so worried about being exposed as an illiterate preschooler? Yet some of my current struggles are just as absurd. Why do I worry about being exposed as a less-than-perfect mom? Or a middle-aged woman who struggles with her weight? Or a Christian who still sins?

The constant effort to prove that I measure up (or try to hide when I don’t), does not lead to a life of freedom and joy. Here’s what does: learning to live me-free. I hope you’ll stick around and join me in learning these lessons from Jesus on me-free living in a measure-up world! 

Is this the first time we’ve met? Welcome! If you have more questions about me, come visit my “about me” page! 

Do you compare yourself?


On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you drive yourself to prove that you measure up? Do you feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me, as I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride. In this six-week study, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and the stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!

Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer. 

Lynn Cowell

Proverbs 31 Speaker, Author of Make Your Move

If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!

Jill Savage

Author of No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, and No More Perfect Marriages

Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer.

Erica Wiggenhorn

Author of Unexplainable Jesus: Rediscovering the God You Thought You Knew by Moody Publishers

“Comparison. We all fight it. But for many of us, it feels like we are losing the battle. Why? Because what we need, to combat comparison, is not simply the knowledge that it hurts us, but the tools to resist it, and that is exactly what Shannon Popkin has given us. With fresh insight, biblical grounding, and light-hearted humor, Comparison Girl offers practical steps for curbing this temptation. If comparison is your struggle, this book is your guide!”

Sharon Hodde Miller

Author, Speaker, Bible Teacher

Leader’s Kit

Now Available!

  • 6 Teaching Sessions, which correlate with the chapters of the book
  • DVD + digital downloads
  • One Comparison Girl book
  • One Journaling Workbook
  • Leader Discussion Guide

Each session is about 18 – 25 minutes long. Dive deeper into what Jesus teaches about the difference between comparison in the world and comparison in the Kingdom.

Sign up for leader updates.

Journaling Workbook

The companion Comparison Girl Workbook offers:

  • A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
  • Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
  • Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses and additional observation study and discussion questions.
  • Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey.
  • Available either as part of the Leader’s Kit, or as a separate purchase.

Get the Comparison Girl Bonuses:

FamilyLife Today

with Bob Lapine and Dave & Ann Wilson

Do you remember the first time you felt like you didn’t measure up? I do. It was sixth grade camp, and I told the story here on the FamilyLife broadcast.

It’s not always comfortable to tell the world how I’ve struggled (and still do!) with feeling inadequate. My hope, in sharing about my own Comparison Girl journey, is to invite others to Jesus’s me-free living in a measure-up world.

Here’s the two-part broadcast:


with Erin Davis & Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts’s daily response to Covid-19 crisis is to remind us to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. I’m delighted to join Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis to talk about the role of comparison in our current crisis, and how to respond like Jesus.

Moms in Prayer

with Lee Nienhuis

Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, as you get “back-to-school” updates from your school, church, and local governments? Join Lee Nienhuis and I as we talk about our illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and how to respond today with the uncertainties of tomorrow.

No More Perfect Podcast

with Jill Savage

Jill has been talking about this topic of comparison and perfectionism and how they divide us way longer than I have. She had some great things to add to our conversation as we discussed comparing in two directions–one where we come out better than someone else and one where we come out worse than someone else. When we compare “up,” we experience jealousy. When we compare “down,” we experience disgust. 

Listen in and be reminded that when Jesus interacted with people comparing themselves, he never said, “Just stop comparing!” Instead He turns it upside down and invites us to the freedom and joy of me-free living.


Coming Alive with Jenn Hand

with Jenn Hand

Laugh with Jenn and I as we tell about our first impressions of each other (yes, we were both comparing), and compare our patterns of collecting coffee mugs – which are completely opposite. Plus we’ll talk plenty about Jesus and his unique way of comparing. 


Compared to Who?

with Heather Creekmore

It’s really an author’s dread. You’re scrolling Amazon, and see a book on YOUR book’s same topic. But what about if your book’s topic is comparison?!
It will take some humility, but it COULD mean that you’re meant to be friends.
I so appreciate my new friend and fellow “Comparison Girl” Heather Creekmore. She’s the real deal, y’all. I love her heart for the LORD and her willingness to invite the “other author” onto her show that’s all about comparison: @comparedtowho
I hope you’ll love our conversation, and become a regular listener of “Compared to Who?”
GEMS Girls Clubs

with Cindy Bultema

It was a joy to connect with my friend Cindy Bultema at GEMS (Girls Everywhere Meeting the Savior), and talk about Comparison at Christmas.
You know, I so relate with the disciples who were always trying to elbow past each other, asking, “Who’s the greatest? How do I measure up?” But Jesus taught them to ask a better question.
The Love Offering

with Rachael Adams

I so enjoyed my conversation with Rachael, and I hope you will, too! Here are some quotes from our conversation:

  • “This desire to be in control and compare the things I can’t control overlapped more than I realized.” 
  • “My heart seems to be bent toward pride and perfection and measuring up in the eyes of other people and it doesn’t lead to freedom and joy.” 
  • “We’ve got to handle the problem with comparison before we even go over to the window.”
  • “He’s inviting us to adopt a me-free mindset. I’m not here to prove I’m better than you. I’m here to serve you.”
  • “When you’re feeling inadequate you want to retreat and pull away. The enemy attacks us in isolation. We need to get out of the corner.”

with Randy Robison

It was a joy to join Randy on LIFE Today to talk about Comparison. I especially appreciated the opportunity to talk about our current political and social climate, and how Christians are not to “compare down” in self-righteous disgust or condescension toward those who disagree OR those who sin differently than we do.

Redefining Balance Podcast

With Jenny Stemmerman

On this podcast for Christian working moms, Jenny and I talked about comparison and the impact it has on the way we see ourselves and others. We also talked about the “race to the bottom” and the difference it makes when – instead of trying to prove that we’re the “hottest mess”, we choose to be humbly vulnerable with each other.

Martha & Mary Show

Listen in to our conversation for both Martha-types and Mary-types as I talk about comparison with my dear friends, Katie Reid and Lee Nienhuis.

Art of Friendship

With Kim Wier

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.

Your Spiritual Game Plan

with Cheri Fletcher

Cheri invites us as women, to live out our true callings—which stay consistent, throughout all the seasons of life. Comparison and the desire to measure up distracts us from God’s purpose for our lives. But what if we approached comparison with me-free humility? Rather than having our eyes on ourselves, what if we entered a room of people, saying, “I’m not here to prove that I have more or am more. I’m just here to share what’s in my measuring cup. What God has given me.” That’s when we are most fee to be ourselves.


The Notice

with Susan Hoekstra

It was a joy to get to know Susan on my launch team and talk with her about leaning in and say, “Yeah, me too…” and share our both our feelings of inadequacies and also the secret enjoyment we have in outdoing others. 


The Debbie Chavez Show

with Debbie Chavez

You can’t have a conversation with Debbie and not receive a little joy that spills over from her life. Listen in as Debbie and I talk about:

 how comparison is like a drug
• escaping comparison by listening to Jesus
• looking-down-your-nose comparison
• drowning-in-shame comparison
• comparing our physical appearances
• how serving changes the way we see others and ourselves

Christian Publishing Show

Overcoming Fear and Comparison 

If you’re a writer, speaker, or ministry leader, you’ve probably had to grapple with both fear and comparison as you’ve stepped out to use your gifts for God. 

Listen in as my co-author Kate Motaung and I have a conversation with Thomas Umstattd Jr. Brought to you by the Steve Laube Agency.

Comparison Girl Launch Party

Special thanks to these 5 Endorsers, who each made an appearance at my online launch party to chat about comparison and you can find them at these places in the video.

Erica Wiggenhorn: 34:12

Alicia Bruxvoort: 48:39

Barb Roose: 1:02:09

Katie Reid: 1:17:15

Lee Nienhuis: 1:30:23

Comparison Girl Chapters & Quotes:

Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.

Lee Nienhuis

Moms in Prayer Podcast host, Speaker, and Author of Countercultural Parenting

With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!

Alicia Bruxvoort

Speaker and Writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries

Comparison is a sneaky issue that can work its way into almost any situation. But is all comparison bad? Through her in-depth study of the Scriptures, Shannon Popkin reveals two sides to this prevalent issue: negative, sinful comparison and positive, biblical comparison. This book both convicted me of the sinful tendencies hidden in my own heart and encouraged me to view myself and others through the eyes of Christ.
Kate Motaung

Author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging

In a sideways-glancing, elbow-jamming, status-grasping culture, Comparison Girl supplies an upside-down approach to an age-old problem. Shannon Popkin exposes the crippling effects that comparison has on our forward-motion in the Kingdom, yet also demonstrates how healthy comparison can inspire us to rise and walk free. Discover how to exchange feelings of superiority for a lifestyle of service and feelings of inferiority for a lifetime of belonging.
Katie M. Reid

Author of Made Like Martha, speaker, co-host of The Martha + Mary Show podcast

Comparison Girl is a needed resource for today’s women. I love how Shannon takes us through comparison in Scripture, acknowledging how normal it is for us to compare, but also providing biblical principles for how to manage it and take our eyes off of others and direct them to Jesus Christ.
Brenda Yoder

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, Speaker

It's time for your first small group meeting. Is there anything you can do to help give your group a strong start? YES! ⁠⠀
This is one of the most important things I've learned, as a leader. In this second session of "Lead That Small Group", I'll share ways to get organized, ask for a commitment, and communicate the plan.⁠⠀
You’ll leave this session with a definition and plan for success as you anticipate your first week (not just the first meeting!) of group.⁠⠀
$10 for the whole course; $5 for one session. ⁠⠀
Link in bio or visit ⁠⠀
#smallgroup #leadership #smallgroupleader #womensbiblestudy #studygroup #womensministry #gatheringyourgroup #tipsandtricks #toolsforleaders #toolbox

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“We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers,”
‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Here’s my fall retreat prayer list—in sticky note fashion.

Will you pray for me as I travel to MN this weekend for a women’s retreat at @camplebanon ?

We’ve been praying for this retreat for THREE YEARS. Can’t wait to see how God answers.

It’s such a privilege to open the Bible with sisters in a relaxed retreat environment. I know my words have little influence, but His Word has the power to refresh the weary and quench the thirst of every soul!

“May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭32:2‬ ‭ESV‬

#livelikeitstrue #ispeaktoserve #lovemakingnewfriends #makeJesusknown #bibleteacher #letsopentheword #womensretreat21 #womensconference21 #womensevent21 #womenseventspeaker #christianspeaker #christianspeakersandwriters #christianwomensevent

10 3

Love having Ken with me on the return trip to @gitchegumeecamp for the women’s retreat this weekend! (Did you see the video of him introducing me last time? One friend told me she laughed till she cried!😂)

We stopped this afternoon and did a short hike (more like a walk) near Northern Michigan University.

Thank you God, for lovely skies, beautiful weather, and time with my guy. All are reminders of my loving, wise Creator, and I am grateful! #fallcolors #i❤️michigan #up #datehikes

41 17

A group of women with expectations, hopes, pasts, weaknesses - all opening their hearts together in a circle around God's Word. What could go wrong? ⁠⠀
Actually, there are a few things. And when challenges arise, leaders need to lead. ⁠⠀
In this 3rd session of "Lead that Small Group", we'll talk through the most common challenges that small group leaders face, and which struggles leaders are prone to as well. You’ll leave this session with strategies for avoiding pitfalls and leading your women well, even when things don’t go perfectly.⁠⠀
$10 / 3 sessions⁠⠀
#smallgroup #leadership #smallgroupleader #womensbiblestudy #studygroup #womensministry #gatheringyourgroup #tipsandtricks #toolsforleaders #toolbox⁠⠀

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Ken’s new solution for not running out of clean clothes: “You wear my clothes, I wear yours.”

(In case you were wondering, there was no powerlifting team when Ken was in high school—plus that would be a pretty old shirt.)

Ken also wants to tag @dgingell and share this new solution.


22 2

What's your definition of a small group? Here's mine. It's a circle of women who form relationships on purpose. What is their goal? They want to know God and be shaped by truth. ⁠⠀
If you'd like help, either forming a small group or leading one, I'd love to invite you to my 3 part online course called "Lead That Small Group". It includes all the things I'd tell you if we were to sit down for coffee and talk about how to gather your women, start strong, and lead well. ⁠⠀
$10 ⁠⠀
#smallgroup #leadership #smallgroupleader #womensbiblestudy #studygroup #womensministry #gatheringyourgroup #tipsandtricks #toolsforleaders #toolbox⁠⠀

41 2

God’s hands are too big and too wise to be influenced by the tugging of my scrawny Control Girl hands. God gives and takes away, not based on my perspective of good, but his.⁠⠀
At first this brings frustration and angst. I want to be in control! I don't want to trust! ⁠⠀
But then there are moments where I realize how shortsighted I was. How little I understood. And how good it is that He is unmoved by me. ⁠⠀
Are you tugging and pulling, with white knuckles? What is God asking you to trust Him (not yourself) with? ⁠⠀
Check out my book Control Girl for more. Visit ControlGirl.com (link in bio). ⁠⠀
#ControlGirl #Surrender #WaveTheWhiteFlag #ControllingMom #ControllingWife #LayDownYourBurdens #NotMyWill #FreedomInSurrender #Marriage #MarriageGoals #MarriageCounseling #TrustinMarriage #ReleasingControl #WomenoftheBible #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup

9 1

I’m not sure how those flowers on the ground got down there, but I think I can imagine how they feel.

I’ve been pushed out before. Excluded. Made to feel like there wasn’t a place for me. Held at a distance.

When you’re unlike the others, or when it’s necessary to create space for a season, it’s easy to feel “looked down upon” or unwanted. Even when the others say, “No you’re included!” it can feel like you’re really not.

But there—on the outside looking in, you have a choice.

Will you wilt and dry up? Will you wallow in hurt and give up? Or will you stretch your roots into the soft places between the stones and find a way to bloom?

That’s the type I want to be. The resilient type. The type to find even a slim bit of soil and a small patch of sunlight—and bloom! 🌸🌸🌸

Are you someone who doesn’t easily blend or fit in? How have YOU found a way to “own your different” and bloom? 🌸

21 1

Look at this beautiful group from Holland, MI!! They will be studying the Spanish version of “Control Girl” : No seas una mujer controladora!

(Have I told you my husband now calls me a “controladora”? 🤣)

I believe this is the first group in the US that I know of (am I forgetting someone?) to study “controladora” together! I am so excited about it. 🙃🙏🏼💕

They will meet on at Macedonia Baptist church and welcome everyone who wants to join them. 🥰🙌💕

Would you pray for them as they embark on this journey in God’s Word? 🌸🎉💕

Holland friends, if you’re interested in more information, please contact @eldahaak ! ❤️ (Thank you Elda!)

#SpanishBookStechSpanishTranslation #ControlGirl #BibleStudy #Women’sStudy #Women’sBibleStudy @editorialportavoz

45 1

Don't miss the surprise (to me!) at the end when Ken introduced me at @gitchegumeecamp !

I'm headed back to Gitche Gumee camp this fall, to speak for the women's retreat! I thought it would be fun to share a clip from last time - the one and only time I was introduced by my husband, Ken. ⠀

Here's what he found unique about this situation. When he presents, it's in a corporate setting, and often related to technical matters. So he said that it surprised him to look up and find an audience of women who were eager to hear what he had to say, and actually delighted to be there! (Apparently that doesn't happen in the IT meetings.)⠀

He'll be coming with me again this year, for the women's retreat on September 16-18 at Gitche Gumee camp in Michigan's lovely UP. Should we ask him to make another appearance on the platform? ⠀

Signup link in comments!

14 6

What story are you telling with your life? Is it marked with doubt, fear, dread, or self-focus? ⠀

The Bible tells a better, truer story about you and about God. Are you ready to live like the story's true?⠀

Each of these FREE two-page Bible studies invites you to store up another astonishing, true story about God, then  live like it's true.⠀

Get the first set of my "True Story" two-page studies here: https://www.subscribepage.com/live-like-its-true⠀

Know the story, share the story, and live the story. ⠀

Want to say thanks? The best way to say thank you to me is to share my signup link with a friend or on social media. I want to share the true story with as many people as possible! Will you help? ⠀

#livelikeitstrue #truestory #thebible #wordofgod #truestoriesofthebible #storyofjonah #storyofrahab #storyofmtcarmel #whatstoryareyoutelling #knowthestory #sharethestory #livethestory  #freebie #freebiblestudy #freestuff #giveaway #sharewithafriend #bestgift #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup

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@ericawiggenhorn says: “I had dreams for my wedding day. Of what my family would look like. How we would spend holidays and vacations. Traditions we would start.

When God did not fulfill my dreams in the ways I had hoped, I struggled. Why wasn’t He answering my prayers?

My friend @shannonpopkin discusses how to Let God Be Enough in our hopes and dreams. How do we rest when His timing is slower than we’d like? Or His plans are altogether different than our own?

Shannon is the author of two books Control Girl & Comparison Girl, in which she teaches us how our tendency to try and control everything or continually compare ourselves to others impedes us from pursuing our God shaped dreams in our heart and living in freedom. To connect with Shannon and here more of her teaching, go to www.shannonpopkin.com

This video is part of a free teaching bundle that you can access when you pre-order 3 or more copies of Letting God Be Enough and send a screenshot of your receipt to support@ericawiggenhorn.com.

We’ll email you a link to all 5 teaching videos so pre-order today!

#controlgirl #comparisongirl #lettinggodbeenough #goals #christianliving #intentionalliving #followingjesus #lifegoals #childofgod #christianposts #trustgod #followjesus #biblestudymoments #godlovesus #godspromise #faithquotes #seekhimfirst #dailyword #graceupongrace #instagramforchrist #christianleaders #faithinspired

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We say God’s in control, but then we watch the news and start living like we are. We fret and worry and stew. We isolate and self medicate. We crumble into a heap of nerves and stress. ⠀

But God will never stop reminding us: We can trust him. He is near. He is able. ⠀

Yes, there are frightening things is the world. But we can manage our fear, knowing that He is in control. ⠀

Open your Bible today, and let God remind you of just how able he is to help and protect and guide—then live like it's true!  ⠀

Follow me @shannonpopkin and sign up for my #livelikeitstrue emails. Also check out controlgirl.com (link in bio) for lots of freebies, podcast interviews, and to see if this women's study might be a good fit for you, your church, or small group.⠀


#ControlGirl #Surrender #WaveTheWhiteFlag #ControllingMom #ControllingWife #LayDownYourBurdens #NotMyWill #FreedomInSurrender #Marriage #MarriageGoals #MarriageCounseling #TrustinMarriage #ReleasingControl #WomenoftheBible #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup

13 2

How will you pursue greatness today?⠀

In the world, measuring up and getting ahead is the way to be great. But in the kingdom, things are upside down. The great ones are those who stoop low. ⠀

Like Jesus. ⠀

Jesus made himself our servant on the cross. And because of his great humility, God gave him the name above all names. (Phil. 2:7-9)⠀


#MeFree #Humility #HumilityQuotes #UpsideDownKingdom #wwjd #whatwouldJesusDo #WhatWouldJesusSay #wisdomoftheCross #philippians2 #LastShallBeFirst #GreatestistheServant #HumbleYourself #ServingOthers #SpoutNotLines  #EmptyYourself #ServeSomebody #EyesOffYou #ComparisonGirl #MeasureUp #MeasuringUp #MeFree #ComparingYourself  #Comparison #ComparisonQuotes #JealousyQuotes #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup⠀

20 2

His last first day at Grandville. Cade, the senior.

So proud of you, Bud. Make it count. #lastfirstday #senioryear

59 2

What if Mark, Luke & John had gotten frustrated when they learned that Matthew "stole" their idea? What if they had thrown their pens down, saying, "No way! I wanted to be the one to write about Jesus!" What if they crossed their arms and sulked, saying, "Fine, then. Nobody needs my book... they have Matthew's."⁠⠀
Well I, for one, would be pretty disappointed. ⁠⠀
In this 3 of 4 episode on Writing at the Red House, Kathi Lipp and I are talking about why our unique voice, experience, or perspective matters - even if we're covering similar content. ⁠⠀
And also, how to fight for community as writers, rather than falling back into isolation. ⁠⠀
Will you join us? I'd love to hear your favorite talking point from this series (even if you're not a writer!). ⁠⠀
@writingattheredhouse @kathilipp
#ComparisonGirl #MeasureUp #MeasuringUp #MeFree #ComparingYourself #Comparison #ComparisonQuotes #JealousyQuotes #JealousyHurts #Perfectionism #EyesOnYou #AmIEnough #NotEnough #PressureToPerform #SheHasMore #SheIsMore #ComparisonistheThiefofJoy #ChristianWriter #ChristianSpeaker #WritersConference #ChristianAuthor #authorsofinstagram

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From My Shop: 

Are you exhausted by measure-up comparison?



Get the Comparison Girl Bonuses 

& Learn to Live Me-Free in this Measure-Up World  

Great! Check your email (or spam) for a message from shannon@shannonpopkin.com.

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