When I’m pouring, 

I’m not measuring. 

Do you compare yourself?

 On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you push yourself to prove that you measure up, then feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me as—with humor and straightforward honesty—I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride in this six-week study. Together, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!

 

 

 

Releasing May 19, 2020

Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer. 

Lynn Cowell

Proverbs 31 Speaker, Author of Make Your Move

If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!

Jill Savage

Author of No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, and No More Perfect Marriages

Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer. 

Erica Wiggenhorn

Author of Unexplainable Jesus: Rediscovering the God You Thought You Knew by Moody Publishers

Podcast & Program Interviews – Comparison Girl

FamilyLife Today

with Bob Lapine and Dave & Ann Wilson

Do you remember the time you felt like you didn’t measure up? I do. It was sixth grade camp, and I told the story here on the FamilyLife broadcast. 

It’s not always comfortable to tell the world how I’ve struggled (and still do!) with feeling inadequate. My hope, in sharing about my own Comparison Girl journey, is to invite others to Jesus’s me-free living in a measure-up world.

Here’s the two-part broadcast:

Grounded

with Erin Davis & Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts’s daily response to Covid-19 crisis is to remind us to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. I’m delighted to join Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis to talk about the role of comparison in our current crisis, and how to respond like Jesus.

No More Perfect Podcast

with Jill Savage

Jill has been talking about this topic of comparison and perfectionism and how they divide us way longer than I have. She had some great things to add to our conversation as we discussed comparing in two directions–one where we come out better than someone else and one where we come out worse than someone else. When we compare “up,” we experience jealousy. When we compare “down,” we experience disgust. 

Listen in and be reminded that when Jesus interacted with people comparing themselves, he never said, “Just stop comparing!” Instead He turns it upside down and invites us to the freedom and joy of me-free living.

 

Moms in Prayer

with Lee Nienhuis

Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, as you get “back-to-school” updates from your school, church, and local governments? Join Lee Nienhuis and I as we talk about our illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and how to respond today with the uncertainties of tomorrow.

Coming Alive with Jenn Hand

with Jenn Hand

Laugh with Jenn and I as we tell about our first impressions of each other (yes, we were both comparing), and compare our patterns of collecting coffee mugs – which are completely opposite. Plus we’ll talk plenty about Jesus and his unique way of comparing. 

 

The Love Offering

with Rachael Adams

I so enjoyed my conversation with Rachael, and I hope you will, too! Here are some quotes from our conversation:

  • “This desire to be in control and compare the things I can’t control overlapped more than I realized.” 
  • “My heart seems to be bent toward pride and perfection and measuring up in the eyes of other people and it doesn’t lead to freedom and joy.” 
  • “We’ve got to handle the problem with comparison before we even go over to the window.”
  • “He’s inviting us to adopt a me-free mindset. I’m not here to prove I’m better than you. I’m here to serve you.”
  • “When you’re feeling inadequate you want to retreat and pull away. The enemy attacks us in isolation. We need to get out of the corner.”
LIFE Today TV

with Randy Robison

It was a joy to join Randy on LIFE Today to talk about Comparison. I especially appreciated the opportunity to talk about our current political and social climate, and how Christians are not to “compare down” in self-righteous disgust or condescension toward those who disagree OR those who sin differently than we do.

Redefining Balance Podcast

With Jenny Stemmerman

On this podcast for Christian working moms, Jenny and I talked about comparison and the impact it has on the way we see ourselves and others. We also talked about the “race to the bottom” and the difference it makes when – instead of trying to prove that we’re the “hottest mess”, we choose to be humbly vulnerable with each other.

Martha & Mary Show

Listen in to our conversation for both Martha-types and Mary-types as I talk about comparison with my dear friends, Katie Reid and Lee Nienhuis.

Art of Friendship

With Kim Wier

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.

Your Spiritual Game Plan

with Cheri Fletcher

Cheri invites us as women, to live out our true callings—which stay consistent, throughout all the seasons of life. Comparison and the desire to measure up distracts us from God’s purpose for our lives. But what if we approached comparison with me-free humility? Rather than having our eyes on ourselves, what if we entered a room of people, saying, “I’m not here to prove that I have more or am more. I’m just here to share what’s in my measuring cup. What God has given me.” That’s when we are most fee to be ourselves. 

 

The Notice

with Susan Hoekstra

It was a joy to get to know Susan on my launch team and talk with her about leaning in and say, “Yeah, me too…” and share our both our feelings of inadequacies and also the secret enjoyment we have in outdoing others. 

 

The Debbie Chavez Show

with Debbie Chavez

You can’t have a conversation with Debbie and not receive a little joy that spills over from her life. Listen in as Debbie and I talk about:

 how comparison is like a drug
• escaping comparison by listening to Jesus
• looking-down-your-nose comparison
• drowning-in-shame comparison
• comparing our physical appearances
• how serving changes the way we see others and ourselves

Christian Publishing Show

Overcoming Fear and Comparison 

If you’re a writer, speaker, or ministry leader, you’ve probably had to grapple with both fear and comparison as you’ve stepped out to use your gifts for God. 

Listen in as my co-author Kate Motaung and I have a conversation with Thomas Umstattd Jr. Brought to you by the Steve Laube Agency.

Comparison Girl Launch Party

Special thanks to these 5 Endorsers, who each made an appearance at my online launch party to chat about comparison and you can find them at these places in the video.

Erica Wiggenhorn: 34:12

Alicia Bruxvoort: 48:39

Barb Roose: 1:02:09

Katie Reid: 1:17:15

Lee Nienhuis: 1:30:23

   Comparison Girl

Workbook

 

 The companion Comparison Girl Workbook offers:

  • A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
  • Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
  • Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses and additional observation study and discussion questions.
  • Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey.
  • Available either as part of the Leader’s Kit, or as a separate purchase.

Shannon combines Jesus’ teachings with brilliant spiritual insights and powerful tools like “The Disgust Challenge” that invite you to leave Comparison Girl living behind in favor of freedom in Christ. If you want to love people more, let go of beating yourself up or learn how to shake off our culture’s “me-first” mindset, then grab Comparison Girl and gather some friends so that you can share this experience together.

Barb Roose

Aspire Women’s Events’ speaker and author of Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus

Comparison. We all fight it. But for many of us, it feels like we are losing the battle. Why? Because what we need to combat comparison is not simply the knowledge that it hurts us, but the tools to resist it, and that is exactly what Shannon Popkin has given us. With fresh insight, biblical grounding, and light-hearted humor, Comparison Girl offers practical steps for curbing this temptation. If comparison is your struggle, this book is your guide!
Sharon Hodde Miller

Author of Free of Me: Why Life is Better When It's Not About You

Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.

Lee Nienhuis

Moms in Prayer Podcast host, Speaker, and Author of Countercultural Parenting

With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!

Alicia Bruxvoort

Speaker and Writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries

Comparison Girl Video Teaching Series

These six video sessions compliment the six chapters in Comparison Girl.  However the book can be used independent of the videos.

(UPDATE: These videos will be releasing as part of a “Leader’s Kit” on February 23, 20201! For more information, please use the contact tab. To get release info, sign up for leader information.)

Each teaching session is about 18 – 25 minutes long.

Learn More

In the Comparison Girl Journaling Workbook, you’ll find extra observation study questions for further reflection and discussion about the passage discussed in the video session. Also in the workbook, you’ll find space for taking notes and the printed passages of Scripture—ready for you to mark and highlight, as we study together.

As Comparison Girls, we have a lot to think through. If we’re going to break free from the bondage and isolation which stem from our measure-up mindset, we’re going to have to start learning to listen for the voice of our Jesus, not the voice of our enemy. These teaching sessions provide a way to do just that.

Comparison is a sneaky issue that can work its way into almost any situation. But is all comparison bad? Through her in-depth study of the Scriptures, Shannon Popkin reveals two sides to this prevalent issue: negative, sinful comparison and positive, biblical comparison. This book both convicted me of the sinful tendencies hidden in my own heart and encouraged me to view myself and others through the eyes of Christ.
Kate Motaung

Author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging

In a sideways-glancing, elbow-jamming, status-grasping culture, Comparison Girl supplies an upside-down approach to an age-old problem. Shannon Popkin exposes the crippling effects that comparison has on our forward-motion in the Kingdom, yet also demonstrates how healthy comparison can inspire us to rise and walk free. Discover how to exchange feelings of superiority for a lifestyle of service and feelings of inferiority for a lifetime of belonging.
Katie M. Reid

Author of Made Like Martha, speaker, co-host of The Martha + Mary Show podcast

Comparison Girl is a needed resource for today’s women. I love how Shannon takes us through comparison in Scripture, acknowledging how normal it is for us to compare, but also providing biblical principles for how to manage it and take our eyes off of others and direct them to Jesus Christ.
Brenda Yoder

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, Speaker

My view as I study the “God of creation” today! What a joy. Loving this study!! @adawomenthrive @jenwilkin @yosemite_national_park #yosemitevalley ...

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I’m delighted to be part of the Bloom conference with @comingalivejenn ! The theme this year is SHINE!

everything is online and you can either watch along with everyone this weekend or at your leisure. Get your ticket here!

https://comingaliveministries.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1045720?fbclid=IwAR1Hhb88TBsctnPb2nNCg1SQ1FD42c4AzxCsfo_HN6SKPdTyV8JiUBdanrk
...

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Love this group from Victory Family Church in cranberry, Pennsylvania! They win the prize for creativity, don’t you think? Thanks @juliejamesdesign You made my day!

#ComparisonGirl #SmallGroup #BibleStudy #CreativeBibleStudyGirls #PourItOut #LiveLikeJesus @kregelbooks
...

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SHAME. That's one of the things this group and I talked about last night. Shame can tie me in knots for days. It can keep me from the good things God wants me to do. It's a distraction (an effective one!) that the enemy uses to bring me to my knees--but not in a good way.

Sometimes I confuse shame with conviction, but there's a difference! When I'm dealing with shame, I can know that it's NOT from God. Conviction is from God. Here are some ways I've learned to tell them apart:

Shame is from the enemy; Conviction is from God.

Shame tempts me to hide my sin and pull away from God and others.
Conviction presses me to expose my sin and draw near to God and others.

I feel shame when the enemy wags his finger in my face. I feel convicted when the Spirit invites me to consider the truth.

Shame makes me want to quit. Conviction makes me want to start.

Shame is the result of condemnation. Conviction is the result of humility.

Friend, whatever you plan to spend your day on - whether writing or caring for kids or presenting at work or going out to lunch with friends - may you be full of conviction and empty of shame!

Thanks to the "She Writes For Him" group for inviting me to come speak last night on "Raising a Shield of Faith Over Your Writing". They were so sweet and welcoming (even though my slides were wonky and it was really, really bothering me, and I'm sure my perfectionism was showing!). I love that these women are grouping up to create a safe place to be vulnerable and connect, as they train for what God has ahead for them with their writing. It was a blessing to me, and I hope to them as well!

#shewritesforhimtribe #shewritesforhim @redemptionpress #shame #shameisfromtheenemy #convictionisfromGod #conviction #shieldoffatih #believingtruth #dontlistentolies #writingministry #targetonyourback #getyourarmoron #wordsmatter #spreadinglight #sharingtruth #thedevilainthappy #godisgreater #writersgroup
...

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The disdain on my face (which seems to be showing up more in 2020) toward other people who are "getting it wrong" betrays my own heart in two ways.

It tells what I think about them, but also what I think about me: I see myself as elevated.

My disgust is always comparing down.

"But isn't some sin disgusting?" you ask. No, ALL sin is disgusting. Plant any tiny grain of sin--like pride, greed, jealousy, or lust, and give it a hundred years with unrestrained growth in any human heart, and it will turn a person into a disgusting creature.

God knows, I have more than just a "grain" of sin.

That's why he sent Jesus to die--to rescue me from what I have and would become. He loved me that much. But he loved other people that much, too! So who am I to elevate myself (one sinful person) above them (other sinful people)?

Jesus calls me to love sinful people, the way He does. It's true that I might be "getting it right" and some other person might be "getting it wrong". But when I'm disgusted with her, I'm the one who's wrong.

#comparisongirl #comparingdown #conviction2020 #electionyear #rightandwrong #covidchurchlife #loveyourneighbor
...

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I am delighted with the chance to share at my church - @adabible for the Fall Thrive Gathering! This event will be hosted on Zoom next Thursday, Oct. 15 at 7:30 p.m.

I'll be sharing my God story and the lessons I've been learning in this season.

You can join us from home, and we'd love for you to consider hosting a watch party with friends. (Just use a laptop!)

Are you coming? Are you hosting a group? Drop a message and let me know! 🙂

There's a registration link in my bio to receive the connection details. https://my.adabible.org/default.aspx?page=4418&event=7411
...

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The audiobook is here!! I loved the opportunity to read this book, but my greatest hope is that you’d hear from Jesus. His words are what this book is all about.

As you listen on the highway, treadmill, or while you’re cooking, I hope this reading will scatter seeds of truth into your life, which eventually bear fruit.

Thank you so much for listening to this audio book, which is available on Audible, audiobooks.com, hoopla, google play, etc.

Where do you listen to audio books?

#ComparisonGirl #AudioVersion #Narrator #WhatAPrivilege #ThanksForListening #oneaudio #rivercitystudios
...

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