Hey, I’m Shannon.

And I’ve been a Comparison Girl for as long as I can remember. Literally, my first memory at age four, is of feeling humiliated because someone found out that I could not read. Oh, the humiliation!

It seems silly now. Why was I so worried about being exposed as an illiterate preschooler? Yet some of my current struggles are just as absurd. Why do I worry about being exposed as a less-than-perfect mom? Or a middle-aged woman who struggles with her weight? Or a Christian who still sins?

Constantly trying prove that I measure up or trying to hide when I don’t, does not lead to a life of freedom and joy. Here’s what does: learning to live me-free. I hope you’ll stick around and join me in learning these lessons from Jesus on me-free living in a measure-up world! 

Want to learn more about me? Come visit my “about me” page! 

Do you compare yourself?

 

On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you drive yourself to prove that you measure up? Do you feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me, as I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride. In this six-week study, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and the stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!

Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer. 

Lynn Cowell

Proverbs 31 Speaker, Author of Make Your Move

If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!

Jill Savage

Author of No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, and No More Perfect Marriages

Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer.

Erica Wiggenhorn

Author of Unexplainable Jesus: Rediscovering the God You Thought You Knew by Moody Publishers

Leader’s Kit

March 30, 2021. Sign up for leader updates.

Kit includes:

  • 6 Teaching Sessions, which correlate with the chapters of the book
  • Both DVD + digital downloads
  • One Comparison Girl book
  • One Journaling Workbook
  • Leader Discussion Guide

Each session is about 18 – 25 minutes long. Dive deeper into what Jesus teaches about the difference between comparison in the world and comparison in the Kingdom.

Journaling Workbook

The companion Comparison Girl Workbook offers:

  • A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
  • Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
  • Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses and additional observation study and discussion questions.
  • Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey.
  • Available either as part of the Leader’s Kit, or as a separate purchase.

Get the Comparison Girl Freebies:

FamilyLife Today

with Bob Lapine and Dave & Ann Wilson

Do you remember the first time you felt like you didn’t measure up? I do. It was sixth grade camp, and I told the story here on the FamilyLife broadcast.

It’s not always comfortable to tell the world how I’ve struggled (and still do!) with feeling inadequate. My hope, in sharing about my own Comparison Girl journey, is to invite others to Jesus’s me-free living in a measure-up world.

Here’s the two-part broadcast:

Grounded

with Erin Davis & Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts’s daily response to Covid-19 crisis is to remind us to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. I’m delighted to join Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis to talk about the role of comparison in our current crisis, and how to respond like Jesus.

Moms in Prayer

with Lee Nienhuis

Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, as you get “back-to-school” updates from your school, church, and local governments? Join Lee Nienhuis and I as we talk about our illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and how to respond today with the uncertainties of tomorrow.

No More Perfect Podcast

with Jill Savage

Jill has been talking about this topic of comparison and perfectionism and how they divide us way longer than I have. She had some great things to add to our conversation as we discussed comparing in two directions–one where we come out better than someone else and one where we come out worse than someone else. When we compare “up,” we experience jealousy. When we compare “down,” we experience disgust. 

Listen in and be reminded that when Jesus interacted with people comparing themselves, he never said, “Just stop comparing!” Instead He turns it upside down and invites us to the freedom and joy of me-free living.

 

Coming Alive with Jenn Hand

with Jenn Hand

Laugh with Jenn and I as we tell about our first impressions of each other (yes, we were both comparing), and compare our patterns of collecting coffee mugs – which are completely opposite. Plus we’ll talk plenty about Jesus and his unique way of comparing. 

 

Compared to Who?

with Heather Creekmore

It’s really an author’s dread. You’re scrolling Amazon, and see a book on YOUR book’s same topic. But what about if your book’s topic is comparison?!
It will take some humility, but it COULD mean that you’re meant to be friends.
I so appreciate my new friend and fellow “Comparison Girl” Heather Creekmore. She’s the real deal, y’all. I love her heart for the LORD and her willingness to invite the “other author” onto her show that’s all about comparison: @comparedtowho
I hope you’ll love our conversation, and become a regular listener of “Compared to Who?”
GEMS Girls Clubs

with Cindy Bultema

It was a joy to connect with my friend Cindy Bultema at GEMS (Girls Everywhere Meeting the Savior), and talk about Comparison at Christmas.
 
You know, I so relate with the disciples who were always trying to elbow past each other, asking, “Who’s the greatest? How do I measure up?” But Jesus taught them to ask a better question.
 
The Love Offering

with Rachael Adams

I so enjoyed my conversation with Rachael, and I hope you will, too! Here are some quotes from our conversation:

  • “This desire to be in control and compare the things I can’t control overlapped more than I realized.” 
  • “My heart seems to be bent toward pride and perfection and measuring up in the eyes of other people and it doesn’t lead to freedom and joy.” 
  • “We’ve got to handle the problem with comparison before we even go over to the window.”
  • “He’s inviting us to adopt a me-free mindset. I’m not here to prove I’m better than you. I’m here to serve you.”
  • “When you’re feeling inadequate you want to retreat and pull away. The enemy attacks us in isolation. We need to get out of the corner.”
LIFE Today TV

with Randy Robison

It was a joy to join Randy on LIFE Today to talk about Comparison. I especially appreciated the opportunity to talk about our current political and social climate, and how Christians are not to “compare down” in self-righteous disgust or condescension toward those who disagree OR those who sin differently than we do.

Redefining Balance Podcast

With Jenny Stemmerman

On this podcast for Christian working moms, Jenny and I talked about comparison and the impact it has on the way we see ourselves and others. We also talked about the “race to the bottom” and the difference it makes when – instead of trying to prove that we’re the “hottest mess”, we choose to be humbly vulnerable with each other.

Martha & Mary Show

Listen in to our conversation for both Martha-types and Mary-types as I talk about comparison with my dear friends, Katie Reid and Lee Nienhuis.

Art of Friendship

With Kim Wier

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.

Your Spiritual Game Plan

with Cheri Fletcher

Cheri invites us as women, to live out our true callings—which stay consistent, throughout all the seasons of life. Comparison and the desire to measure up distracts us from God’s purpose for our lives. But what if we approached comparison with me-free humility? Rather than having our eyes on ourselves, what if we entered a room of people, saying, “I’m not here to prove that I have more or am more. I’m just here to share what’s in my measuring cup. What God has given me.” That’s when we are most fee to be ourselves.

 

The Notice

with Susan Hoekstra

It was a joy to get to know Susan on my launch team and talk with her about leaning in and say, “Yeah, me too…” and share our both our feelings of inadequacies and also the secret enjoyment we have in outdoing others. 

 

The Debbie Chavez Show

with Debbie Chavez

You can’t have a conversation with Debbie and not receive a little joy that spills over from her life. Listen in as Debbie and I talk about:

 how comparison is like a drug
• escaping comparison by listening to Jesus
• looking-down-your-nose comparison
• drowning-in-shame comparison
• comparing our physical appearances
• how serving changes the way we see others and ourselves

Christian Publishing Show

Overcoming Fear and Comparison 

If you’re a writer, speaker, or ministry leader, you’ve probably had to grapple with both fear and comparison as you’ve stepped out to use your gifts for God. 

Listen in as my co-author Kate Motaung and I have a conversation with Thomas Umstattd Jr. Brought to you by the Steve Laube Agency.

Comparison Girl Launch Party

Special thanks to these 5 Endorsers, who each made an appearance at my online launch party to chat about comparison and you can find them at these places in the video.

Erica Wiggenhorn: 34:12

Alicia Bruxvoort: 48:39

Barb Roose: 1:02:09

Katie Reid: 1:17:15

Lee Nienhuis: 1:30:23

Comparison Girl Chapters & Quotes:

Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.

Lee Nienhuis

Moms in Prayer Podcast host, Speaker, and Author of Countercultural Parenting

With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!

Alicia Bruxvoort

Speaker and Writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries

Comparison is a sneaky issue that can work its way into almost any situation. But is all comparison bad? Through her in-depth study of the Scriptures, Shannon Popkin reveals two sides to this prevalent issue: negative, sinful comparison and positive, biblical comparison. This book both convicted me of the sinful tendencies hidden in my own heart and encouraged me to view myself and others through the eyes of Christ.
Kate Motaung

Author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging

In a sideways-glancing, elbow-jamming, status-grasping culture, Comparison Girl supplies an upside-down approach to an age-old problem. Shannon Popkin exposes the crippling effects that comparison has on our forward-motion in the Kingdom, yet also demonstrates how healthy comparison can inspire us to rise and walk free. Discover how to exchange feelings of superiority for a lifestyle of service and feelings of inferiority for a lifetime of belonging.
Katie M. Reid

Author of Made Like Martha, speaker, co-host of The Martha + Mary Show podcast

Comparison Girl is a needed resource for today’s women. I love how Shannon takes us through comparison in Scripture, acknowledging how normal it is for us to compare, but also providing biblical principles for how to manage it and take our eyes off of others and direct them to Jesus Christ.
Brenda Yoder

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, Speaker

From My Shop: 

#Repost @kregelbooks
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Comparison Girl now has a companion journal!
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Join @shannonpopkin in Comparison Girl as she shares what she has discovered about her own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride. As you read, record your responses, action plans, and insights in this personal journaling workbook.
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Now available. Link in the bio.
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#comparisongirl #christianwomen #ChristianBooks
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27 6

When you wear your pride clothes which perfectly disguise your flaws, the group sits back. Self-protectiveness, posturing, bragging and jealousy are invited to the table. ⁠

But when you dress in soft layers of humility and vulnerability, the group leans in. Empathy, compassion, partnership and authenticity are invited to the table.⁠

Humility allows you to truly see other people, rather than being wrapped up in how they see you. Humility forms community—which is where we defend ourselves against enemy attack. ⁠

So turn to someone and say, “Let’s not live behind walls. Let’s be vulnerable, honest, humility-clad people who welcome each other to the circle.”⁠

“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility... your adversary the devil prowls around... seeking someone to devour.” I Peter 5:5-8⁠

(From #comparisongirl p.45-46)⁠

#humilityformscommunity #prideformswalls #clotheyourselfinhumility #prideclothes #humbleclothes
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41 2

Look at all the places this little book has gone in 2021!

Thank you to the #libronotecompares launch team For the photos from Mexico, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, Paraguay, Nicaragua, and more.

It’s so exciting to see No te Compares travel more places than I could ever go, and make its way into hands all over the world—speaking to women I could never speak to! (thank you @EditorialPortavoz! )

Will you pray with me for lasting, spiritual fruit for the kingdom? And that this book will continue to travel into new hands, impacting new hearts!

#ComparisonGirl #SpanishLaunchTeam #latinas #GoLittleBookGo #GodisGood
...

38 3

Just Released!⁠

This 155 page journal is a companion to Comparison Girl and offers:⁠

✏A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.⁠

✏Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, correlating with each chapter's theme.⁠

✏Space for taking notes in the video sessions (coming March 30), plus the verses printed, with additional observation study and discussion questions.⁠

✏Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey⁠

Let me know what questions you have! Purchase anywhere books are sold. ⁠

Link in bio for www.ComparisonGirl.com⁠

#comparisongirl #redlettercomparisons #teachingsofjesus #parables #upsidedownkingdom #lastwillbefirst #greatestistheservant #humbleisexalted
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28 2

My friend @comingalivejenn tells about the time she and her twin sister were on a field trip to an aquatic center. Mid-day, she saw her sister walking beside her, and said, "Hey, sis, how's it going?" but her sister didn't respond. So she said, "Why aren't you talking to me?" and again her sister didn't respond. So Jenn jabbed her with her elbow and realized she was talking to her reflection in the dimly lit aquarium glass. ⁠

Jenn and her sister looked so much alike that she mistook herself for her sister! That part is funny, but here's the part that's not. Jen always thought of her sister as beautiful, but when she turned to the mirror, the beauty vanished. She just couldn't find it in herself. ⁠

I don't have a twin but I do often have the same problem of seeing everyone else as beautiful but not finding any beauty in the mirror. I have endless grace for others' flaws, but none for my own.⁠

And though at first glance it might seem like I’m putting others first and myself last—the way Jesus taught—but this isn’t true humility in me. It’s actually inverted pride.

Why do I have no problem with my friend gaining ten pounds, but self-loathe when I do? Why am I totally okay with my friend's wrinkles forming, but I'm definitely not okay with my own? Why do I assure my friend that she is God’s masterpiece—a great treasure to Him, then talk to my imperfect self as though my imperfections invalidate my worth?

Am I not elevating myself in pride, as I elevate expectations for myself above everyone else? ⁠

Pride says, "I need to either look flawless or hide every flaw." Humility says, "I care enough about the real you to let you see the real me. The flawed me. The beloved of God, me." ⁠

Check out chapter four of #comparisongirl for more on "Comparing Skin-Deep Packaging". www.comparisongirl.com⁠

#comparinglikeJesus #upsidedownkingdom #perfectionism #thatspridetalking #theflawedme #therealme #innercup #cleansemeLord ⁠
#biblestudy #scripture #womensbiblestudy
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33 4

Friend, are you tired of measuring yourself against every friend, cousin or random stranger? Are you sick of zooming in on photos, scrutinizing your friends’ hips?

How do I measure up? is the wrong question. Our Jesus has taught us a better one. One that leads to Kingdom greatness!

When I enter a room full of people and ask, How can I pour myself out? my attention naturally turns to the spout, not the lines. My measuring cup’s contents take on new purpose if I’m looking for ways to serve, and keeping my distance makes no sense if I’m getting ready to pour. But here’s the best part: When I tip my cup to one side, the lines become irrelevant. They don’t matter anymore — and this sets me free.

If Jesus had a photo with His disciples, I think He would lean in and examine it closely, but not to measure and compare. He’d be smiling, remembering how He had invested in each of their lives. He loved them. He knew them personally. He emptied Himself to serve each one. That’s the kind of friend I want to be.

-link in my bio to read my devotional at @proverbs31ministries
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56 5

Know any Spanish-speaking friends? If so, could you tag them here?

My friends at @avivanuestroscorazones are sharing a review of “No te Compares” written by Reyna Meraz and doing a giveaway!!

So thankful for the amazing Latinas of @avivanuestroscorazones who love Jesus so deeply and serve Him with such joy.
・・・
¿Te comparas constantemente con otras personas? En los medios sociales, en tu vecindario, en la iglesia, o al dejar a tus hijos a la puerta de la escuela, ¿te esfuerzas por demostrar que estás a la altura... y luego te sientes avergonzada cuando no es así? Medirse a sí mismo de acuerdo a los estándares de los demás no es saludable. Y no es el plan de Dios. De hecho, el camino de Jesús va completamente al revés del camino de este mundo sumergido en la competencia y la comparación. Jesús nos invita a seguirlo y a recuperar la libertad, la confianza y el gozo.⁠

Participa para ganar el nuevo libro ¡No te compares! disponible en libro digital o físico. ⁠

PARA PARTICIPAR (sigue estas 4 fáciles instrucciones) 👇🏼⁠
1️⃣ Entra al enlace en nuestro perfil @avivanuestroscorazones⁠
2️⃣ Después entra al "Blog Mujer Verdadera"⁠
3️⃣ Lee la "reseña ¡No te compares!" (es la publicación de hoy)⁠
4️⃣ Participa en el sorteo siguiendo el enlace al final del blog

@betsytgomez @nicoforj @reynaorozcomeraz
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15 0

Look at this beautiful group from Paraguay!

Their leader, Maria is 26 years old and leading these young women from her church in a “No te Compares” study, which began on Monday.

She told me, “I pray to the Lord to guide us and help show the truth to the girls who attend.”

Isn’t that fabulous? I couldn’t be more thrilled. Will you stop for a moment and pray for Maria and her girls?

#libronotecompares #paraguay #smallgroups #smallgroupstudy #mentoring
...

49 5

Are you driven to measure up?

Is comparison bringing you down?

 Get my heart-steadying Comparison Girl reminders,

including screen savers, prayer cards, story templates & more.  

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