Have you been comparing yourself?

Hi, I’m Shannon and I’ve been a Comparison Girl for as long as I can remember. Literally, my first memory at age four, is of feeling embarrassed because others saw that I could not read. Oh, the humiliation!

It seems silly now. Why was I so worried about being exposed as an illiterate preschooler? Yet some of my current struggles are just as absurd. Why do I worry about being exposed as a less-than-perfect mom? Or a middle-aged woman who struggles with her weight? Or a Christian who still sins?

My constant efforts to prove that I measure up (or hide when I don’t), aren’t bringing me freedom or joy. Here’s what does: Learning to compare like Jesus does. I hope you’ll join me for this six week study of “Lessons from Jesus on Me-Free Living in a Measure-Up World.”

Is this the first time we’ve met? Welcome! If you have more questions about me, come visit my “about me” page! 

Do you compare yourself?

 

On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you drive yourself to prove that you measure up? Do you feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me, as I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride. In this six-week study, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and the stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!

“Comparison. We all fight it. But for many of us, it feels like we are losing the battle. Why? Because what we need, to combat comparison, is not simply the knowledge that it hurts us, but the tools to resist it, and that is exactly what Shannon Popkin has given us. With fresh insight, biblical grounding, and light-hearted humor, Comparison Girl offers practical steps for curbing this temptation. If comparison is your struggle, this book is your guide!”
Sharon Hodde Miller

Author, Speaker, Bible Teacher

If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!
Jill Savage

Author of No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, and No More Perfect Marriages

Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer.
Erica Wiggenhorn

Author of Unexplainable Jesus: Rediscovering the God You Thought You Knew by Moody Publishers

Leader’s Kit

Now Available!

  • 6 Teaching Sessions, which correlate with the chapters of the book
  • DVD + digital downloads
  • One Comparison Girl book
  • One Journaling Workbook
  • Leader Discussion Guide

Each session is about 18 – 25 minutes long. Dive deeper into what Jesus teaches about the difference between comparison in the world and comparison in the Kingdom.

Sign up for leader updates.

Journaling Workbook

The companion Comparison Girl Workbook offers:

  • A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
  • Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
  • Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses and additional observation study and discussion questions.
  • Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey.
  • Available either as part of the Leader’s Kit, or as a separate purchase.

Get the Comparison Girl Bonuses:

This book is what I would consider a must read. That’s a lot coming from a 65 year old woman who has walked with Jesus for 47 years and is well read. Here’s the deal. This book caused me to face some things about my own comparisons and how I measure myself against others. It helped me call some unhealthy things out in my own life that I never stopped to realize or face. I am being transparent here because that’s how much I think this book can help any woman who compares with others, finds herself jealous or feeling insignificant or insecure. From years of women’s ministry, I think that might be a lot of us. Thank you Shannon for a remarkable message! (Review on Amazon.)
Debbie Alsdorf

Author and Speaker

Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer. 
Lynn Cowell

Proverbs 31 Speaker, Author of Make Your Move

FamilyLife Today
with Bob Lapine and Dave & Ann Wilson

Do you remember the first time you felt like you didn’t measure up? I do. It was sixth grade camp, and I told the story here on the FamilyLife broadcast.

It’s not always comfortable to tell the world how I’ve struggled (and still do!) with feeling inadequate. My hope, in sharing about my own Comparison Girl journey, is to invite others to Jesus’s me-free living in a measure-up world.

Here’s the two-part broadcast:

Grounded
with Erin Davis & Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts’s daily response to Covid-19 crisis is to remind us to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. I’m delighted to join Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis to talk about the role of comparison in our current crisis, and how to respond like Jesus.

Moms in Prayer
with Lee Nienhuis

Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, as you get “back-to-school” updates from your school, church, and local governments? Join Lee Nienhuis and I as we talk about our illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and how to respond today with the uncertainties of tomorrow.

No More Perfect Podcast
with Jill Savage

Jill has been talking about this topic of comparison and perfectionism and how they divide us way longer than I have. She had some great things to add to our conversation as we discussed comparing in two directions–one where we come out better than someone else and one where we come out worse than someone else. When we compare “up,” we experience jealousy. When we compare “down,” we experience disgust.

Listen in and be reminded that when Jesus interacted with people comparing themselves, he never said, “Just stop comparing!” Instead He turns it upside down and invites us to the freedom and joy of me-free living.

 

Coming Alive with Jenn Hand
with Jenn Hand

Laugh with Jenn and I as we tell about our first impressions of each other (yes, we were both comparing), and compare our patterns of collecting coffee mugs – which are completely opposite. Plus we’ll talk plenty about Jesus and his unique way of comparing.

 

Compared to Who?
with Heather Creekmore

It’s really an author’s dread. You’re scrolling Amazon, and see a book on YOUR book’s same topic. But what about if your book’s topic is comparison?!
It will take some humility, but it COULD mean that you’re meant to be friends.
I so appreciate my new friend and fellow “Comparison Girl” Heather Creekmore. She’s the real deal, y’all. I love her heart for the LORD and her willingness to invite the “other author” onto her show that’s all about comparison: @comparedtowho
I hope you’ll love our conversation, and become a regular listener of “Compared to Who?”
GEMS Girls Clubs
with Cindy Bultema

It was a joy to connect with my friend Cindy Bultema at GEMS (Girls Everywhere Meeting the Savior), and talk about Comparison at Christmas.
 
You know, I so relate with the disciples who were always trying to elbow past each other, asking, “Who’s the greatest? How do I measure up?” But Jesus taught them to ask a better question.
The Love Offering
with Rachael Adams

I so enjoyed my conversation with Rachael, and I hope you will, too! Here are some quotes from our conversation:

  • “This desire to be in control and compare the things I can’t control overlapped more than I realized.”
  • “My heart seems to be bent toward pride and perfection and measuring up in the eyes of other people and it doesn’t lead to freedom and joy.”
  • “We’ve got to handle the problem with comparison before we even go over to the window.”
  • “He’s inviting us to adopt a me-free mindset. I’m not here to prove I’m better than you. I’m here to serve you.”
  • “When you’re feeling inadequate you want to retreat and pull away. The enemy attacks us in isolation. We need to get out of the corner.”
LIFE Today TV
with Randy Robison

It was a joy to join Randy on LIFE Today to talk about Comparison. I especially appreciated the opportunity to talk about our current political and social climate, and how Christians are not to “compare down” in self-righteous disgust or condescension toward those who disagree OR those who sin differently than we do.

Redefining Balance Podcast
With Jenny Stemmerman

On this podcast for Christian working moms, Jenny and I talked about comparison and the impact it has on the way we see ourselves and others. We also talked about the “race to the bottom” and the difference it makes when – instead of trying to prove that we’re the “hottest mess”, we choose to be humbly vulnerable with each other.

Martha & Mary Show
Listen in to our conversation for both Martha-types and Mary-types as I talk about comparison with my dear friends, Katie Reid and Lee Nienhuis.

Art of Friendship

With Kim Wier

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.

Your Spiritual Game Plan
with Cheri Fletcher

Cheri invites us as women, to live out our true callings—which stay consistent, throughout all the seasons of life. Comparison and the desire to measure up distracts us from God’s purpose for our lives. But what if we approached comparison with me-free humility? Rather than having our eyes on ourselves, what if we entered a room of people, saying, “I’m not here to prove that I have more or am more. I’m just here to share what’s in my measuring cup. What God has given me.” That’s when we are most fee to be ourselves.

 

The Notice
with Susan Hoekstra

It was a joy to get to know Susan on my launch team and talk with her about leaning in and say, “Yeah, me too…” and share our both our feelings of inadequacies and also the secret enjoyment we have in outdoing others.

 

The Debbie Chavez Show
with Debbie Chavez

You can’t have a conversation with Debbie and not receive a little joy that spills over from her life. Listen in as Debbie and I talk about:

• how comparison is like a drug
• escaping comparison by listening to Jesus
• looking-down-your-nose comparison
• drowning-in-shame comparison
• comparing our physical appearances
• how serving changes the way we see others and ourselves

Christian Publishing Show
Overcoming Fear and Comparison 

If you’re a writer, speaker, or ministry leader, you’ve probably had to grapple with both fear and comparison as you’ve stepped out to use your gifts for God.

Listen in as my co-author Kate Motaung and I have a conversation with Thomas Umstattd Jr. Brought to you by the Steve Laube Agency.

Comparison Girl Launch Party
Special thanks to these 5 Endorsers, who each made an appearance at my online launch party to chat about comparison and you can find them at these places in the video.

Erica Wiggenhorn: 34:12

Alicia Bruxvoort: 48:39

Barb Roose: 1:02:09

Katie Reid: 1:17:15

Lee Nienhuis: 1:30:23

Comparison Girl Chapters & Quotes:

Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.
Lee Nienhuis

Moms in Prayer Podcast host, Speaker, and Author of Countercultural Parenting

With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!
Alicia Bruxvoort

Speaker and Writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries

Comparison is a sneaky issue that can work its way into almost any situation. But is all comparison bad? Through her in-depth study of the Scriptures, Shannon Popkin reveals two sides to this prevalent issue: negative, sinful comparison and positive, biblical comparison. This book both convicted me of the sinful tendencies hidden in my own heart and encouraged me to view myself and others through the eyes of Christ.
Kate Motaung

Author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging

In a sideways-glancing, elbow-jamming, status-grasping culture, Comparison Girl supplies an upside-down approach to an age-old problem. Shannon Popkin exposes the crippling effects that comparison has on our forward-motion in the Kingdom, yet also demonstrates how healthy comparison can inspire us to rise and walk free. Discover how to exchange feelings of superiority for a lifestyle of service and feelings of inferiority for a lifetime of belonging.
Katie M. Reid

Author of Made Like Martha, speaker, co-host of The Martha + Mary Show podcast

Comparison Girl is a needed resource for today’s women. I love how Shannon takes us through comparison in Scripture, acknowledging how normal it is for us to compare, but also providing biblical principles for how to manage it and take our eyes off of others and direct them to Jesus Christ.
Brenda Yoder

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, Speaker

Happy birthday, dear @anika.joyyy ! So thankful for you. 💕And well done, @cadepopkin pulling off your first S U R P R I S E party!🎉🎂 ...

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God uses story to connect your heart to his.

🎧Story: God’s Captivating Way of Revealing Truth with @gabehartfield on the Live Like It’s True podcast
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Wearing my new glasses to church. 🤓They’re progressives, which means I can both look up and see the preacher and look down and see my Bible—without taking the readers on and off🤓. I’m thankful that I go to a church (@crossroads_bible_church) where you want to wear your new glasses because you know you’ll be looking down at your Bible a lot. 💕 ...

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Story invites us in. We’re not meant to just know the story of Jesus; we’re meant to experience and retell the story with our lives.

Listen to “Story: God’s Captivating Way of Revealing Truth” with @gabehartfield on the 🎧 Live Like It’s True podcast. 🎧
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So grateful for this thoughtful recommendation from Bible teacher Erika VanHaitsma.

If you’re looking for a Bible study, I hope you’ll consider Shaped by God’s Promises—my new 6-week Bible study on the life of Sarah with @ourdailybread

Join me on the pages of Genesis and consider how you too can be shaped by the promises of a God who is 💯 faithful! www.shannonpopkin.com/promises/

Erika is cohost of @contextandcolorofthebible podcast—which is also a great resource!
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We shopped. We conquered. We won. We are the IKEA champions! It only took 5.5 hours of corn maze shopping to outfit @lpopkin98 ‘s new unit for renters! #comingsoon #newrentalunit #ikeaforthewin ...

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🎉💕So excited to partner with @moodypublishers ! 🎉💕

Get all the details (+ enter the giveaways and learn how you can help) when you subscribe to my latest 💌emai💌: 🔗 in bio.

#fridayintroductions #friyay #newbookstagram #bookcontract
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One mom’s heart for her teen daughter + teen friends. 💕We love you @denisekooiker ! So thankful for your passion.

For more on Comparison Girl for Teens:Thriving Beyond Measure in a World that Compares, go to www.ComparisonGirl.com !

Add a 💕 for the link. #teencomparisongirl #comparisongirl4teens #comparisonisthethiefofjoy #jealousyjealousy
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In the Bible, there’s always a door between God’s destruction and his deliverance. Some people try to blockade themselves and keep destruction out. But a much wiser approach—the one Rahab took—is to choose safety behind the door of deliverance that God provides. Are you behind the door?

“How to be Behind God’s Door of Safety” is part two of a conversation on the story of Rahab in Joshua 2. Shannon welcomes @shadiahrichi back to the Live Like It’s True podcast for a fascinating conversation about Rahab’s—and OUR—deliverance from destruction. #storyofrahab #rahabsrope
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How do we walk by faith? Not by doing some astonishing thing but by believing some astonishing promise from God, and then living like it’s true.

Promises like:
“I will be with you always”
“Nothing can snatch you from my hand”
“All things work together for good…”
“Death has lost its power over you”

What would change in your life if you lived like these promises were true?

——

Shaped by God’s Promises is a 6-week Bible study on the life of Sarah. Join me on the pages of Genesis and consider how you too can be shaped by the promises of a God who is 💯 faithful! www.shannonpopkin.com/promises/
#shapedbygodspromises #godspromises
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Releasing today: part 2 of my conversation with @shadiahrichi which will release Wednesday on the Live Like It’s True podcast. Have you listened to part 1 on the story of Rahab? 🎧It’s titled: God’s Astonishing Response to the Faith of Just One. ...

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6 weeks 🗓️
7 events/retreats/conferences 🎤
21 days of travel🚘
18 messages 📖
1 unplanned surgery 🩺🩻
10 flights ✈️
5 states / countries 🇨🇴
8 beds 🛏️
23 hours of driving 🛣️
Dozens of spiritual conversations 💕
Countless spiritual fruit 🍉
1 tired-and-blessed speaker🫶

I’m so thankful for these opportunities to teach the Bible and invite people to live like it’s true, then watch God do what only He can!

@eubaptist @jroadchurch @lori.l.dean.5 @aowakiya @kjwhitehead67 @calvarybible @mcgeathjennifer
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“The Lord visited Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did to Sarah as he had promised.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭21‬:‭1‬ ‭ESV

What a joy to share the story of Sarah from Genesis 12-21 at the Woman to Woman conference in Bellefontaine, OH yesterday. Hundreds of women gathered and dozens shared—with emotions right beneath the surface—how God was inviting them to walk by faith and be shaped by his promises.

I love how God gently confronted Sarah with the promises he had given her 24 years prior, saying, “Is anything too wonderful for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14)

The answer—which these women are choosing to believe—is: No. Nothing is too wonderful for the Lord.

Thanks to Janice Bowden and her team from Calvary Baptist for putting together such an organized and thoughtful conference! It was a pleasure to serve, once again, beside #rekindle from @cedarville Also, thanks to @rldarter for coming with me and serving all of us with your time and beautiful servants heart.

If this topic interests you, check out my new 6 week Bible study, “Shaped by God’s Promises” on the life of Sarah at www.shannonpopkin.com/promises/

#walkbyfaith #shapedbygodspromises #isanythingtoohardforthelord #livelikeitstrue #speakerlife #bellefontaineohio #womantowoman
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I’ve been keeping secrets! I have—not just one, but TWO exciting announcements to share with you! Coming soon in my next email… Are you signed up? Link in bio.

https://www.subscribepage.com/shannonpopkin
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How has God used a storm to show you that you’re not in control? And how has he used that storm to invite you to surrender control to Him?

In this episode of the Live Like It’s True podcast, @koripennypacker of @bible_2_school and I are talking about the story of Jonah—the prophet who stubbornly tried to run away from God and was swallowed by a whale.

🎧 Listen in (link in bio) and consider how God is asking you to live like it’s true that He (not you) is the one who has control.
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Are you exhausted by measure-up comparison?

 

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life Me-Free in this Measure-Up World 

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