When I’m pouring, 

I’m not measuring. 

Do you compare yourself?

 On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you push yourself to prove that you measure up, then feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me as—with humor and straightforward honesty—I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride in this six-week study. Together, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!

 

 

 

Releasing May 19, 2020

Shannon Popkin helps us take a fresh and challenging look at the everyday mindsets we wrestle with. Showing us God’s higher ways straight from the life of Jesus, she calls us from our me-focused thinking to His kingdom-focused purposes. After this study and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I won’t allow those thoughts to stay around any longer. 

Lynn Cowell

Proverbs 31 Speaker, Author of Make Your Move

If you struggle with measuring up. If you’re worried about what people think. If you dread someone seeing you in a less than ideal situation, then you’re human. We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others in some way. That means we all need Shannon’s honest and wise words on the pages of this book. I know I did and I’m betting you do, too!

Jill Savage

Author of No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, and No More Perfect Marriages

Shannon Popkin has done it again! She has masterfully written another must read to speak to the struggles of our soul. Inviting us to look up and listen to the tender truths of God and learning to silence the lies of the enemy against us, Shannon shows us how to finally live freely in a cultural of continual comparison. For every woman who has an area of her life where she wonders if she is truly enough- here is your answer. 

Erica Wiggenhorn

Author of Unexplainable Jesus: Rediscovering the God You Thought You Knew by Moody Publishers

Podcast & Program Interviews – Comparison Girl

Compared to Who?

with Heather Creekmore

It’s really an author’s dread. You’re scrolling Amazon, and see a book on YOUR book’s same topic. But what about if your book’s topic is comparison?!
 
It will take some humility, but it COULD mean that you’re meant to be friends.
 
I so appreciate my new friend and fellow “Comparison Girl” Heather Creekmore. She’s the real deal, y’all. I love her heart for the LORD and her willingness to invite the “other author” onto her show that’s all about comparison: @comparedtowho
 
I hope you’ll love our conversation, and become a regular listener of “Compared to Who?”
FamilyLife Today

with Bob Lapine and Dave & Ann Wilson

Do you remember the time you felt like you didn’t measure up? I do. It was sixth grade camp, and I told the story here on the FamilyLife broadcast. 

It’s not always comfortable to tell the world how I’ve struggled (and still do!) with feeling inadequate. My hope, in sharing about my own Comparison Girl journey, is to invite others to Jesus’s me-free living in a measure-up world.

Here’s the two-part broadcast:

Grounded

with Erin Davis & Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts’s daily response to Covid-19 crisis is to remind us to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. I’m delighted to join Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis to talk about the role of comparison in our current crisis, and how to respond like Jesus.

No More Perfect Podcast

with Jill Savage

Jill has been talking about this topic of comparison and perfectionism and how they divide us way longer than I have. She had some great things to add to our conversation as we discussed comparing in two directions–one where we come out better than someone else and one where we come out worse than someone else. When we compare “up,” we experience jealousy. When we compare “down,” we experience disgust. 

Listen in and be reminded that when Jesus interacted with people comparing themselves, he never said, “Just stop comparing!” Instead He turns it upside down and invites us to the freedom and joy of me-free living.

 

Moms in Prayer

with Lee Nienhuis

Are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, as you get “back-to-school” updates from your school, church, and local governments? Join Lee Nienhuis and I as we talk about our illusion of control, the destruction that comes with comparison, and how to respond today with the uncertainties of tomorrow.

Coming Alive with Jenn Hand

with Jenn Hand

Laugh with Jenn and I as we tell about our first impressions of each other (yes, we were both comparing), and compare our patterns of collecting coffee mugs – which are completely opposite. Plus we’ll talk plenty about Jesus and his unique way of comparing. 

 

GEMS Girls Clubs

with Cindy Bultema

It was a joy to connect with my friend Cindy Bultema at GEMS (Girls Everywhere Meeting the Savior), and talk about Comparison at Christmas.
 
You know, I so relate with the disciples who were always trying to elbow past each other, asking, “Who’s the greatest? How do I measure up?” But Jesus taught them to ask a better question.
 
The Love Offering

with Rachael Adams

I so enjoyed my conversation with Rachael, and I hope you will, too! Here are some quotes from our conversation:

  • “This desire to be in control and compare the things I can’t control overlapped more than I realized.” 
  • “My heart seems to be bent toward pride and perfection and measuring up in the eyes of other people and it doesn’t lead to freedom and joy.” 
  • “We’ve got to handle the problem with comparison before we even go over to the window.”
  • “He’s inviting us to adopt a me-free mindset. I’m not here to prove I’m better than you. I’m here to serve you.”
  • “When you’re feeling inadequate you want to retreat and pull away. The enemy attacks us in isolation. We need to get out of the corner.”
LIFE Today TV

with Randy Robison

It was a joy to join Randy on LIFE Today to talk about Comparison. I especially appreciated the opportunity to talk about our current political and social climate, and how Christians are not to “compare down” in self-righteous disgust or condescension toward those who disagree OR those who sin differently than we do.

Redefining Balance Podcast

With Jenny Stemmerman

On this podcast for Christian working moms, Jenny and I talked about comparison and the impact it has on the way we see ourselves and others. We also talked about the “race to the bottom” and the difference it makes when – instead of trying to prove that we’re the “hottest mess”, we choose to be humbly vulnerable with each other.

Martha & Mary Show

Listen in to our conversation for both Martha-types and Mary-types as I talk about comparison with my dear friends, Katie Reid and Lee Nienhuis.

Art of Friendship

With Kim Wier

There is something in us that wants to prove that we have more or are more. We want to measure up. So what does this do to our relationships? Is there any way to stop being jealous of a friend? How should I respond to demands of this measure-up culture?

Here’s my conversation with Kim Wier, where we talk about these questions and more.

Your Spiritual Game Plan

with Cheri Fletcher

Cheri invites us as women, to live out our true callings—which stay consistent, throughout all the seasons of life. Comparison and the desire to measure up distracts us from God’s purpose for our lives. But what if we approached comparison with me-free humility? Rather than having our eyes on ourselves, what if we entered a room of people, saying, “I’m not here to prove that I have more or am more. I’m just here to share what’s in my measuring cup. What God has given me.” That’s when we are most fee to be ourselves. 

 

The Notice

with Susan Hoekstra

It was a joy to get to know Susan on my launch team and talk with her about leaning in and say, “Yeah, me too…” and share our both our feelings of inadequacies and also the secret enjoyment we have in outdoing others. 

 

The Debbie Chavez Show

with Debbie Chavez

You can’t have a conversation with Debbie and not receive a little joy that spills over from her life. Listen in as Debbie and I talk about:

 how comparison is like a drug
• escaping comparison by listening to Jesus
• looking-down-your-nose comparison
• drowning-in-shame comparison
• comparing our physical appearances
• how serving changes the way we see others and ourselves

Christian Publishing Show

Overcoming Fear and Comparison 

If you’re a writer, speaker, or ministry leader, you’ve probably had to grapple with both fear and comparison as you’ve stepped out to use your gifts for God. 

Listen in as my co-author Kate Motaung and I have a conversation with Thomas Umstattd Jr. Brought to you by the Steve Laube Agency.

Comparison Girl Launch Party

Special thanks to these 5 Endorsers, who each made an appearance at my online launch party to chat about comparison and you can find them at these places in the video.

Erica Wiggenhorn: 34:12

Alicia Bruxvoort: 48:39

Barb Roose: 1:02:09

Katie Reid: 1:17:15

Lee Nienhuis: 1:30:23

   Comparison Girl

Workbook

 

 The companion Comparison Girl Workbook offers:

  • A place to record your responses to the Bible study and application questions at the end of each lesson.
  • Thought-provoking stories and journal prompts, which correlate to each chapter’s theme.
  • Space for taking video session notes, plus the printed verses and additional observation study and discussion questions.
  • Extra prayers, quotes, and verses to encourage you on your journey.
  • Available either as part of the Leader’s Kit, or as a separate purchase.

Shannon combines Jesus’ teachings with brilliant spiritual insights and powerful tools like “The Disgust Challenge” that invite you to leave Comparison Girl living behind in favor of freedom in Christ. If you want to love people more, let go of beating yourself up or learn how to shake off our culture’s “me-first” mindset, then grab Comparison Girl and gather some friends so that you can share this experience together.

Barb Roose

Aspire Women’s Events’ speaker and author of Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus

Comparison. We all fight it. But for many of us, it feels like we are losing the battle. Why? Because what we need to combat comparison is not simply the knowledge that it hurts us, but the tools to resist it, and that is exactly what Shannon Popkin has given us. With fresh insight, biblical grounding, and light-hearted humor, Comparison Girl offers practical steps for curbing this temptation. If comparison is your struggle, this book is your guide!
Sharon Hodde Miller

Author of Free of Me: Why Life is Better When It's Not About You

Author and dear friend, Shannon Popkin, expertly and biblically walks us through several markers and mistakes of living according to comparison in this measure up world and gently points us to a better way. Written with humor and brutal honesty, Shannon sheds the pretense and fights for her readers’ hearts with biblical wisdom, humility and truth. Comparison Girl is a must-read for this generation of girls and the next.

Lee Nienhuis

Moms in Prayer Podcast host, Speaker, and Author of Countercultural Parenting

With a humble pen and a bold honesty, Shannon invites us to look closely at our subtle “comparison game” and recognize the truth behind it— Comparison is not just a harmless habit; it’s an all-out attack on the life we’ve been created to live. Using the very words of Jesus, Shannon shows us how to trade the exhaustion of measure-up comparison for the exhilaration of me-free living. Get ready to wage war and take back the abundant life you were created to enjoy!

Alicia Bruxvoort

Speaker and Writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries

Comparison Girl Video Teaching Series

These six video sessions compliment the six chapters in Comparison Girl.  However the book can be used independent of the videos.

(UPDATE: These videos will be releasing as part of a “Leader’s Kit” on February 23, 20201! For more information, please use the contact tab. To get release info, sign up for leader information.)

Each teaching session is about 18 – 25 minutes long.

Learn More

In the Comparison Girl Journaling Workbook, you’ll find extra observation study questions for further reflection and discussion about the passage discussed in the video session. Also in the workbook, you’ll find space for taking notes and the printed passages of Scripture—ready for you to mark and highlight, as we study together.

As Comparison Girls, we have a lot to think through. If we’re going to break free from the bondage and isolation which stem from our measure-up mindset, we’re going to have to start learning to listen for the voice of our Jesus, not the voice of our enemy. These teaching sessions provide a way to do just that.

Comparison is a sneaky issue that can work its way into almost any situation. But is all comparison bad? Through her in-depth study of the Scriptures, Shannon Popkin reveals two sides to this prevalent issue: negative, sinful comparison and positive, biblical comparison. This book both convicted me of the sinful tendencies hidden in my own heart and encouraged me to view myself and others through the eyes of Christ.
Kate Motaung

Author of A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging

In a sideways-glancing, elbow-jamming, status-grasping culture, Comparison Girl supplies an upside-down approach to an age-old problem. Shannon Popkin exposes the crippling effects that comparison has on our forward-motion in the Kingdom, yet also demonstrates how healthy comparison can inspire us to rise and walk free. Discover how to exchange feelings of superiority for a lifestyle of service and feelings of inferiority for a lifetime of belonging.
Katie M. Reid

Author of Made Like Martha, speaker, co-host of The Martha + Mary Show podcast

Comparison Girl is a needed resource for today’s women. I love how Shannon takes us through comparison in Scripture, acknowledging how normal it is for us to compare, but also providing biblical principles for how to manage it and take our eyes off of others and direct them to Jesus Christ.
Brenda Yoder

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, Speaker

I love absorbing these bright blue winter mornings through my window. The hue shifts by the minute. ⁠

As I soaked in the color yesterday (Monday) with my prayer journal in my lap, I realized something. Two of the things I've been praying about seemed less urgent.⁠

Both were requests that I have presented to the Lord for months, but suddenly this month, this morning, I was able to surrender them to the Lord.⁠

What prompted the change, I wondered. Then I remembered. Yesterday was the third Sunday now, that I've fasted social media. And I realized it had made a difference. ⁠

By taking a break from looking at what the rest of the world was doing, I was able to take a break from what I wanted to be doing. It just didn't seem quite as important. ⁠

Though I love this online space, I think when I spend too much time here, it crowds up the rest of my life with thoughts and plans and even prayers that God wants me to be free of. ⁠

Is there something you're asking God for? Take a break from looking at the rest of the world, and see if your request changes hues. ⁠

#prayerrequests #bluewintermorning #bluewindow #comaprison #socialmedia #changingrequest #comparisongirl
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THIS THURSDAY, I'm hosting a time of online encouragement for ministry leaders. Whether you are worried, weary or wondering why '21 isn't back to normal yet, my hope is that our gathering will encourage and equip you for this next leg of the journey. ⁠

I'll be giving away a FREE digital download set of my new teaching videos (I'll share more info then). ⁠And I'll be talking about COMPARISON in ministry. ⁠

Wait. Do ministry people compare? This one does. And when I do so it makes me feel sad. And hurt. And frustrated. ⁠

It makes me wonder if I'll ever measure up. ⁠

It distracts me and holds me back. It leads me into bondage. ⁠

If you ever struggle with comparing your ministry with somebody else's, I'd love to share what God has been teaching me about the bait of comparison, and how to sidestep it so that I can keep running my race and leading others to do the same. ⁠

Two time options:

January 21, 2-3:30 pm ET⁠
January 21, 7-8:30 pm ET ⁠
Or register to watch the replay ⁠
Registration is only $5. Link in bio.⁠

If you're not a ministry leader, do you know one? I'll bet it would bless her if you bought her a ticket. (They're less than a latte.) ⁠

https://www.shannonpopkin.com/product/leader-connect/⁠

#leaderconnect #smallgroupleader #womensbiblestudy #reserveyourplace #comparisongirl #leadershiptraining #leaderencouragement
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Jesus came, “not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28). That second half is actually the biggest way Jesus served us: he paid our ransom.

Sin is like a kidnapper with a knife. It holds us captive, and promises sure death. The only way to break free is by somebody paying the ransom.

Lean in with me and look at the ransom note. What is the demand of this kidnapper named sin? Our hearts sink and our jaws drop when we see the highest price imaginable. A perfectly righteous person will have to die willingly in our place. That’s the only way.

Which means, Jesus is our only way.

For Jesus—the King of Kings and Lord of Lords—to set aside his power and glory so that he could pay my sin's ransom, is unthinkable. And yet that's what he did.

He "emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men" (Phil. 2:7). He “poured out his soul unto death” (Is. 53:12) Jesus took his larger-than-the-universe measuring cup and turned it upside down.

So is it possible to take my ransom cash and spend it on myself? Is it possible to ignore Jesus's drained cup, and live trying to make mine look full?

Yes it's possible, but it kind of makes me sick to my stomach.

Lord Jesus, may I lift you high with my life, with my words, with my worship of you today.

#heemptiedhimself #upsidedownkingdom #spoutnotlines #comparisongirl #lessonsfromJesus #mefreeliving #measureupworld
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Join Reyna and I as we talk about ¡No te compares! and welcome over a hundred women from more than fourteen countries to the launch team! (Spanish edition)⁠

If you're interested in joining, hurry! It begin on Thursday!⁠

You can get your book here: https://www.portavoz.com/distribuidores⁠

You can sign up here: ⁠
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdLxMQTmK92W6xDohpzEekYQALhYa7hSs9mEtpYBAaLhG0RBA/viewform⁠

#LibroNoTeCompares⁠ #español #hispanicbiblestudy #latinabiblestudy

From Reyna in Spanish: ⁠
Caminaremos juntas, siguiendo las enseñanzas de #Jesús para ser libres de la tiranía del yo y del mundo obsesionado con la #comparación y la #competencia. ~Enero 2021~⁠
Si quieres ser parte del Equipo del #LibroNoTeCompares por Shannon Popkin, author & speaker de Editorial Portavoz es sencillo:⁠
1⃣ Contáctame, llena la forma de PRE-registro. Enlace: https://forms.gle/mK6imGSvBq454KAP9⁠
2⃣ Prepara tu corazón 💖🙏🏻⁠
3⃣ Consigue tu libro pronto 🤓📙📚⁠
Puedes adquirirlo de muchas formas:⁠
▪️ Directo conmigo (si radicas en #CUU o en #MX)⁠
▪️ En #Amazon:⁠
🔸Enlace para comprar el libro ELECTRÓNICO kindle en amazon https://amzn.to/3p5Z0ue⁠
🔸El enlace para comprar el libro IMPRESO https://amzn.to/2KpyQ6Z⁠
https://amzn.to/3m6JgoK⁠
▪️En #editorialportavoz : https://www.portavoz.com/mujeres/no-te-compares/⁠
▪️O con gusto puedo contactarte con librerías/vendedores de otros lugares 🌎
...

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We have over 100 women from 14 countries who are signed up for our launch team for #comparisongirl in Spanish! 😲🎉🙌

Will you pray for my friend Reyna from Mexico 🇲🇽 will be overseeing this team? 🙏🏻 They’ll be working through the book together. Please pray that God will stir their hearts (as He did mine) with what Jesus said about comparison.

Know any Latina women who would like to join? It’s not too late! Tag them below and we can get them the information. 😘

Hello to my friends in Columbia 🇨🇴, Venezuela 🇻🇪, Guatemala 🇬🇹, Mexico 🇲🇽... where else? If you’re part of the group and reading this, I’d love to hear where you’re from! #BookNoTeCompares @reynaorozcomeraz

#spanish #womensbiblestudy #biblestudy #comparisongirl
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Hey, ministry leader. Are you feeling a little depleted? Are you weighed down? Were you secretly wishing that January would come and things would be back to "normal"?⁠

Yeah, me, too. But you know what has depleted me even more? Glancing sideways to compare and measure what I'm doing (or how well I'm doing) with what some other ministry worker is doing. ⁠

Doing so makes me sad, frustrated, and distracted. It sends me into a tailspin of self-focus. And I want to run my race in 2021, not shrink back in wounded pride! ⁠

Join me as I share what I've been learning about comparison in ministry and "How to Sidestep the Comparison Bait". ⁠

This time is designed for ministry leaders but if you're not one, do you know one? I'll bet she'd smile if you bought her a ticket. (They're less than a latte!) ⁠

January 21 at 2 pm or 7 pm (or watch the replay). ⁠

Register here: https://www.shannonpopkin.com/product/leader-connect/⁠

#loveothers #leadsmall #smallgroup #church #serve #faith #leadertraining #womensbiblestudy #smallgroupleader
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Happy snow day! Well, not really. There’s no school this week, my husband is on vacation, and I had nothing planned anyway, but still! I’m going to pretend.

My plan for the day is to win another round of #settlersofcatan and start the puzzle my son got me for Christmas. While we puzzle, I really want to listen to the latest #adventuresinodyssey with him, which we have done every Christmas break for as long as I can remember.

It’s true that he might say, “Mom, I’m 17...” but then I’ll say, “And I’m 49!”

Want to pretend with me that it’s a snow day? What will you do?

#snowday #forpretend #nothingplanned
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“Can we join you?" my husband asked. “Oh, sorry... we're trying to get the directors together at this table."

It was a horrible moment from a Christmas party long past, but whenever I think of it, my heart still sinks.

You can read the full story (including my husband’s beautiful response) in my post, "Jesus's Feet, Under Your Table" but for now, I'm wondering:

Have your palms gotten sweaty as you searched for a seat at the table, lately? (Maybe even a virtual table?) Or has your heart flooded with jealousy because someone else was invited to a table where you don't feel welcome?

I guess we shouldn't be surprised. This "no vacancy at the table" mentality is inevitable in a place where getting ahead and measuring up is the objective. Our world is a cold, heartless, harsh place—a place where things stack up like a pyramid.

If you're the one vying for rank at the top of the pyramid, you hardly want to invite others to join you up there! What would happen if you started inviting everyone? The pyramid would begin inverting, and then where would the status be?

To prove yourself in this measure-up world, you have to put distance between you and them. You have to show that you belong at the table, and they don't.

But in the kingdom of God, all are welcome. In the kingdom, it doesn't matter where you sit or what rank you have; the King wants to put his feet under your table. That's the story of Christmas.

Read the full post here (link in bio):

https://www.shannonpopkin.com/2020/12/21/jesuss-feet-under-your-table/

#CanWeJoinYou #MeasureUpWorld #SeatAtTheTable #PyramidScheme #Upside downKingdom #AllAreWelcome #GodCameNear #StoryOfChristmas
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🎄Correcting the way the kids decorate their gingerbread houses.
🎄Correcting your father-in-law for not wearing a mask to your house on Christmas.
🎄Correcting your sister-in-law for asking your dad to wear a mask.
🎄Correcting your husband for falling asleep during the Christmas sermon (even though he watched it at home from the recliner this year).
🎄Correcting your son for opening his gifts without waiting his turn.

If you’re like me, when you correct, you’re often really trying to control.

But not ALL correction is motivated by a control-craving heart, so how can you know the difference?

Here's a starting point: If there's no verse in the Bible to support your correction, you might be clamping down on something that is not yours to control. (This includes many of the things on this list).

Or perhaps you do have a verse, but there are other verses leading other people to different conclusions. If you're only willing to consider your verse, you might be more motivated by control than the desire to obey God.
Control Girl-type correction is when we try to play God. When we seek to replace him in the lives of our people. The truth is, God doesn't need us to stand in for Him. And the people in our lives would appreciate it if we stopped trying to do so.

If you're participating in the Five C Challenge, you know that "no correcting" is one of our five C's. Stop and pray over a situation you'd like to correct, and ask God to do the correcting.

I know how hard this can be. If you'd prayer, send me a message or put a quick "yes" in the comments.

#fivecchallenge #nocorrecting #letGodbeGod #sweetsurrender #christmaschallenge #controlgirl
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Naughty or nice: What’s your guess? #happyhowlidays #santapaws ...

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Are you driven to measure up?

Is comparison bringing you down?

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