Do you compare yourself?


On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you push yourself to prove that you measure up, then feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.

Join me as—with humor and straightforward honesty—I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride in this six-week study. Together, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.

Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!


Have you made your way back, as your church’s doors have opened?⁠

Have you signed up for a small group, or decided to start one?⁠

Have you shared a meal or a walk with someone who loves Jesus lately?⁠

Is anybody looking out for you, spiritually? And are you looking out for them?⁠

When’s the last time you’ve prayed with someone?⁠

When’s the last time you’ve shared what God was showing you in the Bible with another person?⁠

When’s the last time you’ve been asked a spiritual question?⁠

Here's the truth: In spiritual isolation, we wilt. In community we grow.⁠

Do you believe this is true? Do you live like you believe this is true? ⁠

Like plants need water and sunshine, we need to be gathering with other believers to open our ears to the Word of God being preached, and opening our mouths to proclaim the truth about God. Virtual or in person, we need to plant ourselves in side-by-side community with other believers. ⁠

As we one-another, the roots of our hearts become intertwined, which makes us strong against tests, trials, and temptations, and which positions us to grow. ⁠

Read more in my post, "How Well Are You One-Anothering?" Link in bio. ⁠

#smallgroups #spiritualgrowth #whoareyoulookingoutfor #spiritualmentoring #spiritualmothering #biblestudy #onlinebiblestudy #womensministry #nobodythrivesalone #growingroups #groupiswhereyougrow #smallgroupministry #smallgroupspastor #thriveincommuntiy #bodylife #spiritualcommunity #followingJesusingroups

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Delighted to be a guest on "A Woman's Heart" with Lisa Granger this morning.⁠

We're talking about comparison. If you live near Williamsburg, VA, you can tune in at 9 am on WMBG or stream at (Link in bio.)⁠

Thanks so much to my #speakuprocks sister, Lisa, for having me on the broadcast!⁠

#christianradio #radiohost #comparison #comparisongirl #mefreeliving #measureupworld ⁠

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When I feel inadequate, I secretly start looking around for some other way I’m exceptional.

If I’m outdone I look for a way to outdo.

If I feel less than, I want to make a mental list of the ways I am greater than.

But look at how my focus is constantly on ME!

Isn’t there more humility—when I feel inadequate or less than—in saying, “Actually I do have less of that in my measuring cup by God’s design.”

Can I live in a universe where God gives more to some and less to others? Can I trust Him to be Lord over that? If so, I’m able to settle myself—not in resignation, but contentment and trust.

I can be inspired by a friend, sister, or neighbor without being jealous of her. I can stop the constant self-focus. And I can get back to work investing and pouring out whatever God HAS put in my measuring cup, rather than worrying about what he hasn’t.


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{GIVEAWAY!} Are you looking for a fun way to surprise your girl or granddaughter this summer? Check out the #shinebrightly Activity Box from @GEMSGirlsClubs! Ages 7-12⁠

Since I don't have any girls at my house in that age range, I'm GIVING MY BOX AWAY! To enter: message me or comment below and tell me one way you're praying for your girl (or a girl you know!) this summer. When I read your comment, I'll pray that prayer with you! ⁠

This box has a special focus on friendship and is filled with DIY crafts and recipes, faith-filled devotions, and everything FUN in between! Check it out and order today. #linkinbio⁠

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Several friends asked me about Generous Giving after seeing my post this weekend... ⁠

Generous Giving promises:⁠

A safe place to explore the concept of generosity.⁠

Never ask you for money.⁠

Never tell you how or where to give.⁠

True or False: Surplus creates risks just like scarcity creates risks. ⁠

True or False: Surplus reveals your heart toward God just like scarcity does. ⁠

True or False: Surplus creates an opportunity to trust God and surrender to Him, just like scarcity does. ⁠

Did you pick True / True / True? ⁠

It's not as easy to see surplus as a risk, but the Bible offers warning after warning about the dangers of wealth and greed. I'm so thankful that Generous Giving creates these safe places to talk about and be inspired by generosity.⁠

I love how their intro video closes: "We want something FOR you, not FROM you." When our hearts are shaped by generosity, it truly is a gift to us. ⁠

Let me know if you have questions! Ken and I are facilitators, so we can either help answer your question or point to the people who can. :)⁠

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Okay, it's time to get down to business. It's summer, and I have work to do! ⁠

I'm starting to realize that my spring and fall months (at least for the foreseeable future) will be too busy and disjointed with speaking to get much writing done. So I'm planning to make summer and winter my quiet, alone-in-the-office days. ⁠

I have several goals, but first one on my list is this one: ⁠

My friend @leenienhuis and I are planning to write our #teencomparisongirl book! We've heard from So. Many. Women. (like you?) who see the need for this book! ⁠

Here's my caption for this photo: "We need YOU to pray for us!!" Will you join us in praying for God's empowering wisdom and strength to finish this project?⁠

If you've read Comparison Girl (for grownups), tell me which part definitely needs to go in the teen book. I'd love to hear your thoughts!⁠

#teenbook #comparison #itsaproblem #ourgirlsneedtruth #pleasepray #measureupworld #livingmefree

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And just like that, he's a senior in high school. Where has the time gone? I miss that little curly-headed boy. But so proud of the man he's becoming. ⁠

He'll be working at camp this summer - which means Ken and I will be empty nesters! But it's not like we see him much when he's here... Most often he's downstairs creating some amazing new song and can't hear me because he has headphones on (God save his hearing!). ⁠

Has anybody, checked out ?⁠

#hesasenior #alwaysmybaby #offtocamp #goserveJesus #andhaveablast #wouldntwantyoutomissit

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Should I really be surprised that I can’t keep up with someone a foot taller, forty pounds lighter, and a decade younger? And what if my shorter legs, extra padding, and lower capacity level was actually woven into my DNA by God himself?⁠

What if God has a shorter, smaller list of assignments for me than he has for those he designed to walk faster and accomplish more? When my assignment list for myself is longer and loftier than God’s list for me, this isn’t something to be proud of. I’m aiming to please myself, not God. ⁠

I'm sharing "3 Crippling Effects of Comparison" on my blog. Link in bio. ⁠

#comparisoncripples #measureupmindset #getaheadpride #humilityisbetter #owningmydifferent #Godmadeyouspecial #beyounother #loveyourownpackaging #Godonlymadeoneyou #heisforyou #runningstride #keepyourownpace #pushingyourself #riskofburnout #riskofwashingout #riskofmissingout

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One man asked me, "How would a husband present this book and not get a frying pan to his head?" The question made me laugh, but I understand the concern. ⁠

It wasn't marketing genius to write my first book on a topic no one wants to claim, and people feel uncomfortable giving to their wives or friends or moms. ⁠

If you'd like to give this book to a friend, I have several suggestions in this post, which is part of my Control Girl Q & A series - answering the most common questions I get about the topic of control. ⁠

#controlgirl #giftsthatoffend #howtobegentle #severalideas

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Palestine. South Africa. Jordan. Israel. Michigan. Dominican Republic.⁠

Denominations. Grace. Preaching the Gospel to ourselves continually. ⁠

Serving. Writing. Waiting. Moving. ⁠

This little cluster of friends covered a lot of ground in just a couple of hours, wouldn't you say? Do you have any friends like that?⁠

So grateful for you both, @aylinmerck and @katemotaung !⁠

#writerfriends #meetupinmichigan #instantconversation #knithearts #thankyouJesus

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What if God is MORE pleased when I DON'T get as much done? What if He smiles when I humble myself and say, "Hey guys? I'm going to hang back a bit..." and then walk or work at my own healthy-for-me pace? ⁠⠀
Certainly there are times to surround myself with those who inspire and push me forward. But comparison can also cripple me and hold me back. ⁠⠀
I can think of at least 3 ways, which I wrote about in my latest post (link in my bio). Can you think of any? ⁠⠀
I'll get you started: ⁠⠀
When I try to match the stride of someone who is stronger, more established, or has more capacity, it has the potential to....⁠⠀
#comparisoncripples #measureupmindset #getaheadpride #humilityisbetter #owningmydifferent #Godmadeyouspecial #beyounother #loveyourownpackaging #Godonlymadeoneyou #heisforyou #runningstride #keepyourownpace #pushingyourself #riskofburnout #riskofwashingout #riskofmissingout⁠⠀

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What's your earliest memory, and what does it reveal about you? We talked about this on @lainelawsoncraft 's podcast this week (link in my bio). ⁠

Mine happened in the church balcony at about age four. A woman sitting behind me made me feel exposed as "less than" in front of everybody!⁠

Listen in for more on comparison, not measuring up, and how to be free! ⁠

#comparisongirl #feelinglessthan #whatdoesjesussay #livingbythespout #spoutnotlines #philippians2⁠

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Has your Bible study wrapped up for the year? Summer break is a great time to gather some new ideas for leading, or even starting a group for the first time! If you’d like a plan for gathering women, starting strong, and leading well, check out my #smallgroup #biblestudy #leadertraining course ! Link in bio.

#smallgrouptraining #biblestudyfellowship #smallgroups #leadershipdevelopment #grouplaunch #summerreboot #stopthedrift #whatsnext #LeaderDon’tQuit #OvercomingFear #TipsAndTricks #PlanWell #OvercomingChallenges #leaderchallenges #womensministrytoolbox #womensministry #womensministryideas #womensministryleader

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