Do you compare yourself?
On social media, in the neighborhood, at church, or the school drop-off lane, do you push yourself to prove that you measure up, then feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy.
Join me as—with humor and straightforward honesty—I share what I’ve discovered about my own measure-up fears and get-ahead pride in this six-week study. Together, we’ll explore the conversations Jesus had and stories he shared with people who—like us—were comparing themselves.
Let’s leave measure-up comparison behind and connect with those around us by choosing Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out!
I just learned that this dear, sweet lady went to be with Jesus, back when Covid first hit CO.
Jeanne and I didn’t know each other very long or very well, but she was one of those people who just went deep immediately. I spoke at her church’s women’s retreat (Parker, CO in spring ‘19. I’ll share a little slide show, courtesy of my iPhone in my story) and her assignment was to give me a ride to and from one of the gatherings.
I think we spent two hours in the car talking afterward. She just dove in and started mentoring me, right then and there, in the car! And I loved her for it.
I got the sense that Jeanne knew time was limited; no time for small talk. She wanted to talk about Jesus, our service to him, and how to be strategic for the sake of the gospel.
When I got home after the retreat, she called me, asking how I was doing with the battle after the battle. She was a speaker herself, so she knew all about it.
Jeanne has gone to be with Jesus, and I know that she wouldn’t trade a moment with Him for a decade more with us. Though I didn’t get much time with her, I’m so grateful for the way she lived the moments she did.
I want to be like Jeanne. Purposeful, open hearted, and willing to invest in whomever the Lord puts in the seat next to me.
Well done, good and faithful Jeanne. May I serve Jesus to the end, just like you.
#mentorminutes #faithfulservant #sheswithJesus #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy
Not exactly sure why 130k people have found my IG reel which highlights this blog post (thank you, IG algorithm??) but here’s why I wrote it.⠀
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It all started with a little flutter in my heart every time I mistook the new tan-colored table on my front porch for an Amazon box. (Thanks to the reader who pointed out that by taking a photo WITH the box I do the opposite of making my point. 🤷🏼♀️)⠀
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Now this flutter is different than the flutter you get when you finally see the thing you’re hoping to find–like spotting a drinking fountain when you’re thirsty or spotting the loved one you’ve been looking for in a crowd.⠀
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It’s different, because I couldn’t even tell you what I’ve ordered or what I’m hoping will BE in the Amazon box. I’m just excited to see the box because I know there will be something new inside. Something I’ve chosen. Something I can consume.⠀
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I think it must be the flutter of greed. But could that be right?⠀
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Read more at the link in my bio.⠀
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I taught on the problem of greed in session 3 (Comparing Wealth) in my Comparison Girl teaching videos. More at comparisongirl.com⠀
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#ComparisonGirl #MeasureUp #MeasuringUp #MeFree #ComparingYourself #Comparison #ComparisonQuotes #JealousyQuotes #JealousyHurts #Perfectionism #EyesOnYou #AmIEnough #NotEnough #PressureToPerform #SheHasMore #SheIsMore #ComparisonistheThiefofJoy #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup⠀
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How do you fight the temptation to measure and compare? Especially for Christian creatives: I'm sharing 3 strategies to fight comparison on the "Writing at the Red House" podcast with @kathilipp
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What an encouraging, fun, sweet host Kathi is. She wraps up each episode saying, "Now go share your 'only you' story of God's extravagant love." Isn't that beautiful? ⠀
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Come listen to our conversation! I just know you'll be blessed. link in bio
#ComparisonGirl #MeasureUp #MeasuringUp #MeFree #ComparingYourself #Comparison #ComparisonQuotes #JealousyQuotes #JealousyHurts #Perfectionism #EyesOnYou #AmIEnough #NotEnough #PressureToPerform #SheHasMore #SheIsMore #ComparisonistheThiefofJoy #ChristianWriter #ChristianSpeaker #WritersConference #ChristianAuthor #authorsofinstagram
Who are you jealous of? What does she have that you don’t? ⠀
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It does no good to deny that you’re jealous or pretend that you have just as much in your cup. But it also does no good to let jealousy consume you.⠀
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What if you brought your jealousy—in detail—to God? What if you shared your pain and let Jesus reshape your viewpoint?⠀
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There was a man in the Bible who did that. ⠀
He came and spilled his bitter jealousy out before Jesus. “Tell my brother to split the inheritance,” he said. His brother had more and he hated it. ⠀
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It was not the time or place, and Jesus didn't go there, but he did capitalize on a teachable moment: Jesus told a story about a greedy man who built bigger barns to store his surplus. ⠀
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The man asking the inheritance question thought he had a two-person problem: his brother had more. But Jesus told a one-person story. Why? Because greed is always a one person problem. ⠀
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If you feel jealous and you're asking, "Why her? Why not me?", check your heart for greed. ⠀
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Greed can't be solved by dividing things up equally or forcing some other person to change. Greed is only solved by turning my own story into a two person lifestyle—where I focus on my measuring cup’s spout, not just the lines. ⠀
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This is Jesus’s response to jealousy. Will we let it reshape our viewpoint?⠀
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If you haven't gotten my bonuses for Comparison Girl, you can sign up (link in bio) and get your set for free. The re-centering questions which will help you face the people and situations in which you're tempted to be jealous of with new confidence, security and joy! ⠀
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#comparisongirl #freebies #freebonuses #prayercards #printabledownloads #firstpray #shameoffyou #voiceofjesus #sheepknowhisvoice #upsidedownkingdom #timeinprayer #enemylies #overcomer #liveintruth ⠀
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https://www.subscribepage.com/comparisongirl_2
It changed my life to discover that my out-of-control anger was rooted in a deeply rooted desire for control. ⠀
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Control is something I never saw as my issue. I knew I was erupting in anger, but I just saw myself as invested. I was the one trying to make it all turn out **right**. ⠀
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Then God used a Control Girl of the Bible (who was trying to take control just like me) to open my eyes to the truth: Control was turning me into someone I don't want to become. And God already is in control! Which means I don't have to be. ⠀
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Follow me @shannonpopkin and sign up for my #livelikeitstrue emails. Also check out controlgirl.com (link in bio) for lots of freebies, podcast interviews, and to see if this women's study might be a good fit for you, your church, or small group.⠀
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#ControlGirl #Surrender #WaveTheWhiteFlag #ControllingMom #ControllingWife #LayDownYourBurdens #NotMyWill #FreedomInSurrender #Marriage #MarriageGoals #MarriageCounseling #TrustinMarriage #ReleasingControl #WomenoftheBible #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup
Wedding fun with my family. One thing I love about us: We love to laugh.
Aren’t you glad God created marriage and family? He could have had people pop up out of the ground or grow from people trees. Instead he designed for each person to get her first glimpses of the world through the context of family. He wanted you and me to start out life with a sense of family and belonging.
What do you love about your family?
Hey, creatives! Come join me at the Ultimate Bible Journaling Retreat, held at @lakeanncamp_mi⠀
Oct. 28-31. ⠀
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Can you come? I'd love to meet you there!⠀
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Swipe left for doodle 101 by my fellow presenter- @doodle101s (Thanks, Sue!). ⠀
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Link in bio.⠀
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#christianwoman #faithartist #bibleverses #controlgirl #controlgirltojesusgirl #ministry #womensupportingwomen #proverbs31 #jesusgirl #prayerworks #biblestudy #confidentwoman #shannonpopkin #controlgirl #wellwateredwomen #motivation #graceupongrace #inspiration #seekyefirst #propelwomen #christian #faithbased #scripture #biblejournaling #womensretreat
My son inhaled quickly then expressed immediate disappointment, as we pulled into the driveway. “I thought I saw my Amazon box on the front porch..."
“Was it that table, you saw?" I asked, knowingly.⠀
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A couple of weeks ago, I spray painted the little table on our porch a tan color. Turns out it's the same color tan as an Amazon box.⠀
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Just like my son, I had been experiencing the same little burst of excitement when a patch of familiar tan caught my eye on the porch, as I pulled into the driveway. Then the same subsequent disappointment when I realized it was just that table.⠀
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What IS that flutter in my heart, at seeing a tan box? It's different than the flutter you get when you finally see the thing you're hoping to find--like spotting a drinking fountain when you're thirsty or spotting the loved one you've been looking for in a crowd.⠀
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No, this flutter is different, because I couldn't even tell you what I've ordered or what I'm hoping will BE in the Amazon box. I'm just excited to see the box because I know there will be something new inside. Something I've chosen. Something I can consume.⠀
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I think it must be the flutter of greed. ⠀
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What's the appropriate response, when we continue to want more and more? What did Jesus have to say about this?
More on this Check the link in my new post: "What The Amazon Box-Colored Table Revealed in My Heart." Link in bio.
check out comparisongirl.com for more teaching on this topic!
#MeFree #Humility #HumilityQuotes #UpsideDownKingdom #wwjd #whatwouldJesusDo #WhatWouldJesusSay #wisdomoftheCross #philippians2 #LastShallBeFirst #GreatestistheServant #HumbleYourself #ServingOthers #SpoutNotLines #EmptyYourself #ServeSomebody #EyesOffYou #ComparisonGirl #MeasureUp #MeasuringUp #MeFree #ComparingYourself #Comparison #ComparisonQuotes #JealousyQuotes #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #generousliving @generous.giving
This question changed everything for me as a Christian author: What would you do from your platform if you were there to serve.
That heart to serve is what steadies me against the tidal wave of fear, doubt, insecurity, and complacency.
Now, some people won't ever understand. I had an older person tell a mutual friend that I was full of myself, because every time she opened facebook, there I was again, sharing about my new Bible study. I had another author tell me I was wrong to write "Influence". She didn't think "platform building" shouldn't even be in the vocabulary of a Christian ministry worker.
Right, wrong, or somewhere in between, my heart is to serve others who need the truth of God's Word.
That's not to say that I don't slip back into me-focused measuring. The world's thinking is like an undertow that I must always guard against. But He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.
Are you conflicted over "platform building" as a Christian? Do you have a burning desire to teach or share truth, and also a pit in your stomach when you worry who might think you're full of yourself if you stepped out to try?
Oh how we understand. That's why @katemotaung and I wrote, "Influence: Building a Platform That Elevates Jesus (Not Me)".
Lind in bio.
https://www.shannonpopkin.com/influence/
blog post:
https://wp.me/s7IZQm-29339
#christianauthor #christianwriter #christianspeaker #influence #knowyourwhy #letyourlightshine #cityonahill #forhisownglory #liftjesushigh #influencer #heretoserve #platform #buildyourplatform #lifeguardmetaphor #platformbuilding #buildlikejesus #followmeasifollowhim #followJesus #collab #shewritesforhim #swfh #speakuprocks #hopewriterlife #hopewriters #hopewriters #shespeaks #shespeakstruth #shespeakslife #shespeaksonline #shespeaksministries
Have you answered a call to the impossible? I’m loving this eight week study of Esther, called “summoned: answering a call to the impossible” by my friend @megbrownwrites with @moodypublishers !⠀
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When I met Megan in a 1:1 appointment at the @speakupconference I knew immediately, that she was called to proclaim truth.⠀
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As was talked about various ideas and ways to serve, and I remember saying, “ Megan, I think you should do exactly what you’re doing. Teach military spouses God‘s word! That’s your platform.”⠀
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3 (?) years later, Megan is expanding her reach and sowing seeds that will bear fruit, only calculable in heaven. She is on staff with @crumilitary and serving with @moodypublishers to bring truth to those who will bring it across borders—and to those of us who need it at home.⠀
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I love Megan’s passion and drive, her dedication to God’s word, and her willingness to speak with bold, passionate faith—as she did in this morning’s session at @speakupconference !⠀
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If you are a Bible study participant or leader, please check out Megan‘s new book #summoned (foreword by my friend @vivmabuni !). You’ll love being led by Megan to the feast of God’s Word. ⠀
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#WomenoftheBible #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup
What would you be doing, if you weren't comparing yourself? ⠀
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These free bonuses are designed to help you discover just that. ⠀
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*Comparison Girl Prayers⠀
*Screensavers⠀
*Recentering Questions⠀
*Illustrative Drawing of Philippians 2 by Pearl Allard of @lookupsometimes⠀
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Follow me @shannonpopkin and sign up for my #livelikeitstrue emails. Also check out comparisongirl.com for lots of freebies, podcast interviews, and to see if this women's study might be a good fit for you, your church, or small group. ⠀
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Have we met? If not, hi! I'm Shannon. I'm a west MI author & speaker. My husband Ken and I just celebrated #25years and we have 3 young adult kids, and two shih tzus who (unlike the kids) have no plans of moving out. ⠀
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I've written two studies: Control Girl and Comparison Girl (both published with Kregel) and I talk a lot about what God has to say about our struggles with control and comparison, and comparison. ⠀
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From the platform, the page, and in person (here on IG), it's my joy to invite you to live like God's Word is true! ⠀
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#ComparisonGirl #MeasureUp #MeasuringUp #MeFree #ComparingYourself #Comparison #ComparisonQuotes #JealousyQuotes #JealousyHurts #Perfectionism #EyesOnYou #AmIEnough #NotEnough #PressureToPerform #SheHasMore #SheIsMore #ComparisonistheThiefofJoy #ChristianBook #BibleStudy #WomensMinistry #WomensBibleStudy #SmallGroup
I laughed when Tim Mohns told about how, right after college, he laid down everything he *didn’t* have on the table and said, “Here, God. It’s yours.”
I remember doing the same thing. It’s a bit more challenging when there’s more to actually lay down.
So grateful for another Journey of Generosity (JOG) with this fabulous group from @adabible . Thanks for hosting Wade and Hillary (especially on your bday Wade!)
We so enjoyed taking a full day, to talk about how our money both reveals our greed and offers us opportunities to lift God high through generosity.
@generousgiving @mohnster @hillwhite
#generosity #generousgiving #jogretreat @nationalchristianfoundation #stewardship #moneymatters #givingministry #youcanttakeitwithyou #youcansenditahead #hestheowner #entrustedstewards
My son @cadepopkin has a new song out, called "The Apostle's Journey". I might be biased, but I LOVE this song!
To get his updates, subscribe at his site (link in bio) or follow him at @cadepopkinmusic
#proudofmyboy #highschoolcomposer #glorifygod #useyourgifts
the apostle's journey by cade popkin.mp4
#originalcomposition #originalmusic #originalmusician #logicpro #teenmusician #teencomposer #highschoolcomposer #moviesoundtrack #originalsoundtrack #seventeen
https://cadepopkin.wixsite.com/music
Our Father, may your will be done today, here on earth—in the United States, in Michigan, in
Grandville, in my home, and in my heart—just like it is in heaven. (Mat.6:9-10)
I confess that the earth is filled with people who fight with white-knuckled determination for their own will—and I am one of them.
But I believe that you are FOR me, and FOR us, and in the place you rule, there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.
(Psalm 16:11)
Please come and reign here today. I surrender to you.
#ControlGirl
#Surrender
#wavethewhiteflag
#controllingmom
#controllingwife
#laydownyourburdens
#notmywillbutyours
#freedominsurrender
That's a week's worth of work in the trash, right there, friends. Sigh.
Why? Because the feedback I got from two dear, sweet friends made me go, “Oh wow! 😳 That's what you heard? 😬 That’s not good… 😩🤦♀️🤦♀️…”
But don't worry. I agreed with them 💯. Now I’m saying, “😂😂😂 What was I thinking??”
So I’m letting go of draft one (or actually like draft 62) and getting back to work ✍🏼✍🏼✍🏼because you’re worth it, dear reader. And the message is worth it. It's SO worth it.
I love offering pages that are clear, receivable, and hope-infusing. So, today I trash my stack of papers. Tomorrow I offer you (and the Lord, really) better ones.
#WritingLife #RaidersOfInstagram #Feedback #LoveYourNeighbor #TellHerTheTruth #EspeciallyIfShe’sAnAuthor
"I want to have some peace and quiet every day like Dad does in his office. He’s such a good dad. I want to be like him. He’s a Christian. He’s everything. He controls this place. I want to be the same."
Come listen in as my seven-year-old dreams about becoming a man. His thoughts inspire me to be the kind of woman who encourages manhood. Not a belittling, controlling, sighing, eye-rolling woman - but the kind who invites the men around me to be respectable.
#fathersday #manhood #fatherhood #respectandhonor #7yearoldconversations #hesagooddad
Wow - It’s pretty crazy when they put you next to 3 of your heroes! Obviously God is going to do some amazing things at the GEMS Conference this year, online July 23-24. Can you join us?
Check out this AMAZING deal:
Use code GEMSFriend to get $50 off the Non-Member Price ($149 USD)
I'll be sharing on "Comparing Skin-Deep Packaging" at the conference. You won't want to miss it!
Link in my bio!
#Christianwomen #Christianconference @gemsgirlsclubs #loved. #celebratethesisterhood #ComparisonGirl
#MeasureUp
#MeasuringUp
#MeFree
Do you have a ministry friend across the miles you hope you’ll get to meet someday? I have many, including Amy (far left).
She just sent me this photo after their first summer book club meeting, there at Chantilly Bible Church in Virginia! @amycantilina
Amy and I first “met” when we were both on the writing team for @erindavis ‘s “Beyond Bathtime” blog.
Back then I never dreamed a photo like this was possible. Guessing you feel that way, too, Any?
What a joy to partner in ministry and I’m hoping at some point I’ll get to meet @amycantilina and her group in person!! (We’ve been trying to find a date.)
#MinistryFriend
#LongDistanceFriend
#ChristianBook
#BibleStudy
#WomensMinistry
#WomensBibleStudy
#SmallGroup
#ComparisonGirl
#MeasureUp
#MeasuringUp
#MeFree
#ComparingYourself
#Comparison
#ControlGirl
#Surrender
#WaveTheWhiteFlag
#ControllingMom
#ControllingWife
#LayDownYourBurdens
#NotMyWill
#FreedomInSurrender
What if she DOES have more? Some people DO have more capacity or intellect or talent! God gave it to them. The question is, Can we be okay with that?
That's one of the things I talked about with in my interview with Dr. Carol. She's an OB-Gyn physician, Doctor of Ministry, author, and speaker, helping people discover and live the Fully Alive life Jesus came to give us.
I think you'll love her podcast. Will you let me know if you check it out?
#comparisongirl @drcarolt #drcarol #podcastinterview #christianpodcast @credocommunications #christianauthor #christianspeaker #christiandoctor #christianwomen #ComparisonGirl
#MeasureUp
#MeasuringUp
#MeFree
#SelfishAmbition
#Perfectionism
#EyesOnYou
#AmIEnough
#NotEnough
#PressureToPerform
#SheHasMore
#SheIsMore
#ComparisonistheThiefofJoy
When I'm out on the trail with someone, I honestly don't mind saying, "Hey, can you slow up for your short friend?" It doesn't bother me that I'm shorter.
It DOES bother me when I don't measure up in other ways—as a mom, a friend, a ministry partner, or a Christian. I hate being exposed as the one who doesn't measure up.
So often, what I do is propel myself forward with perfectionistic drive and push myself beyond reasonable limits. Now it's fine to have friends who motivate and encourage me, but if I'm being driven by a measure-up mindset, it's important to recognize I'm not being influenced by God.
God has "good works prepared in advance for [me] to do" (Eph. 2:10). I picture an assignment list in God's handwriting with my name beside certain items. And it's possible that those items are smaller or slower or less significant than what I was picturing.
When I insist on pushing past and pursuing more, what am I saying to God? What am I saying about how he made me?
In my latest post (link in bio), I'm offering "3 Crippling Effects of Comparison" which will keep you from the God-given assignments that will bring you the most fulfillment and joy.
#comparisoncripples #measureupmindset #getaheadpride #humilityisbetter #owningmydifferent #Godmadeyouspecial #beyounother #loveyourownpackaging #Godonlymadeoneyou #heisforyou #runningstride #keepyourownpace #pushingyourself #riskofburnout #riskofwashingout #riskofmissingout
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How do you let go of young adult children?
This post was originally part of the "Ask an Older Woman Series" on Revive Our Hearts, and apparently I qualify as an "older woman"! 🙂 Q: How do you let go of your child as they approach college and start to live as an adult on their own? A: I woke up in the hotel...
What The Amazon Box-Colored Table Revealed In My Heart
When I pulled in the driveway the other day, my son inhaled quickly then expressed immediate disappointment. "I thought I saw my Amazon box on the front porch..." "Was it that table?" I asked, knowingly. A couple of weeks ago, I spray painted the little table on our...
Step Up, Speak Up, and Serve!
This question changed everything for me: What would you do from your platform if you were there to serve? The metaphor of "platform" is that it's lifted up so that you might be seen and heard. And it's true that many people step onto a platform with an insatiable...
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This post first appeared on TriciaGoyer.com. Thanks so much, Tricia, for sharing this post! I came running home after school, crying so hard I could barely talk. My mom dropped everything, and through my hiccupping sniffles, I told her my third-grade woes. It had been...
3 Heart-Steadying Responses for the Control Girl on Election Week
Hey there, Control Girl. How's your heart doing, today? I'm wondering. Have you been... Anxiously pacing in front of your television as you watch the election updates? Unable to sleep—worried that there will be more rioting and chaos? Overwhelmed with gloom and even...
The Disgust Behind my Mask
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