If you follow my blog, you’ve probably heard me talk about ‘Control Girls‘. I, myself, am a Control Girl, but I’m asking God to take the ‘control’ out of the ‘girl’. And though he’s gradually answering my prayer, sometimes I stumble right back into my ugly, sinful, controlling patterns–which always makes me feel horrible.
I won’t go into the whole story, but suffice to say, I was rude to a man who works at the library. He was trying to get me to the checkout before closing, and I was busy trying to find the perfect audio book for our 14 hour car ride. He was trying to control me, and as a rule, Control Girls do not like to be be controlled.
So, I was rude. Very rude.
And then 30 seconds later, after I walked out of the library, I felt horrible. So horrible that I gushed my misery to my daughter all the way home. And then didn’t sleep well. And then I woke up the next morning thinking about how rude I had been.
So, as soon as the library opened, I called the man to apologize. Which is not something Control Girls generally do.
I was talking to a friend recently about a ‘Master Control Girl’ that she works with. This woman has no idea how much pain and frustration she causes others because of her controlling habits. While she’s extremely dedicated, invested, and exceptional in her work, she’s also demanding, unreasonable, and domineering. And the one thing she never does is apologize. In all the years they’ve worked together, my friend has never heard this woman utter the words, “I’m sorry.”
Control Girls don’t apologize because an apology puts the other person in control. Apologizing is a way of humbly relinquishing control and counting ‘others more important than yourself’. (Phil. 2:3
) (Including those who want to close the library on time.)
My phone call to apologize was just one more step toward change–toward letting God take the ‘control’ out of the ‘girl’. It’s evidence that God is
at work, changing me–that I can be free of my ugly, controlling ways.
Are you a Control Girl who wants to change? Then, consider the chain-breaking power of saying, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” It could change your situation, and it could change you.
Whom do you need to apologize to, today?