I was angry this morning. Very angry.

For almost a week I’ve been without a vehicle, and whenever I find a nice one online, I show my husband and he says, “That’s too much.” But that’s not why I was angry. I was angry because there was finally a vehicle that my husband thought was reasonably priced. It had leather seat warmers and a DVD player and it was silver. 

But before I could drop Ken off at work this morning and drive over to see it, the thing sold. So I was mad! Mad enough to make a growling sound and kick the air. 
Our emotions are always little windows into our souls. So if I press my nose to the window pane of my anger, what do I see? I see a girl who feels entitled; who is convinced that she deserves a vehicle–one with seat warmers and a DVD, no less. I see an ugly, ungrateful, entitled heart. Not one that beats to bring glory to Jesus.
I had to remind myself that I do not, in fact, deserve a nice van. Especially not one that warms my bottom and puts my kids in a trance. What my heart deserves is ugly and dark and terrifying–it’s the future that Christ rescued me from. 
Unless my anger is of the righteous variety (usually not the case with me), it should serve as a big, flashing signal, reminding me that I have become disoriented. Rather than kicking the air, I should be breathing it in, and thanking the Lord that he has provided not only this breath, but every single other good thing that I enjoy.

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