The first time she met him, she thought, “I don’t have my wedding ring on, so he won’t know I’m married.” She doesn’t remember what attracted her. Maybe his forwardness? His attentiveness?

Whatever caused the spark, it made her pulse quicken. With only a couple of walks and flirting over lunch a few times, she knew her heart was giving way to an emotional affair. And when he kissed her, she kissed him back.

She felt horrible about it. She thought, “I’m not the type of girl to have an affair. Am I?” Her stomach constantly felt sick, and she was conflicted; without peace. The Holy Spirit was convicting her from within and she couldn’t stand it. So she did the hardest thing she had ever done: She confessed to her husband.

Once she brought her sin out into the light, its appeal vanished. Now, her sin seemed like the ugly, distasteful thing that it was. She no longer struggled; the desire was gone.

My sweet friend’s story validates an agreement that my husband and I made with each other many years ago. It may not be for everyone, but it’s worked for us. And it’s the very thing that stopped my friend’s affair in its tracks. What’s our promise? We have agreed to confess to each other any spark that we might feel for someone outside our marriage.

Now, this promise is not for the weak-hearted. Having your marriage partner tell you that someone else is a temptation to them is not fun or enjoyable. It’s painful! But am I willing to be strong enough to receive such a confession from my husband? You bet! I’d much rather have him confess a secret attraction than hide it.

Sin grows in the darkness. It multiplies in hidden corners of the heart, and left undisturbed, it metastasizes. I want my husband to have every opportunity to bring his temptations out into the light, where they will die instantly. And I’m so thankful he’s willing to do the same for me. Both of us have found confession to be the best sin-killing agent available.

My friend would agree.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you might be healed.

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