I opened the refrigerator one day to put away the 16 yogurts I had just purchased–the regular two-a-day for Ken, and a couple extra for me. But when I went to put them on the top shelf, I saw that it was already full. Of yogurt. There was yogurt on the second shelf, too. And the third.

What was going on here? I asked Ken why it looked like our refrigerator was breeding grounds for yogurt. He said, “Oh. I stopped eating yogurt about a month ago.”

I guess it takes me a month or so to notice such things. But couldn’t he have told me, rather than forcing me to play ‘detective wife’? The clues (dozens of uneaten yogurts) were fairly obvious. I’ll give you that. But why couldn’t he simply tell me, “Hey, I don’t like yogurt anymore”?

The yogurt episode happened when Ken and I had only been married a couple of years. Since then there have been dozens of changes that I’ve had to adjust to. Not just just in his diet preferences, but also in his dreams and goals and passions. He still doesn’t tell me outright. I have to look for the clues and probe.

But that’s the fun of marriage! Who wants to go out for dinner and have the same conversation you had last time? I love being Ken’s detective wife–I love to study him and discern the clues. And if I look really carefully, I can see God’s finger prints all over our ever-changing marriage.