My friend, Amy, struggles with fear. Especially fear of something happening to her kids. She used to be convinced that if something life-threatening ever endangered one of her kids, she would go into a fetal position in the corner and never come out.
But when I talked to her about a month ago, she told me something had changed. “I finally realized how foolish I had been,” Amy said. “Here God had entrusted these five kids to me, and yet I was having trouble entrusting them back to Him!”
Just this past week, she had an opportunity to do just that.
Amy’s twelve-year-old, Becca, suddenly began complaining of some discomfort in her abdomen. Shortly after taking her to a medical facility, the doctors confirmed that Becca had a mass the size of a small loaf of bread, and it needed to be removed immediately. The church (in Auburn Hills, MI) was encouraged to gather and pray the night before the surgery.
When I heard the news, I was certainly concerned for 12-year-old Becca, but I was equally concerned for her mom, Amy. How would she ever make it through something as paralyzing as this? How would she overcome the fear to even make it through the week? How would I make it through a week like this??
Surprisingly, when I asked a mutual friend how Amy was doing, she said, “Amy is a rock! I’m a mess, but Amy’s faith is so strong!”
This made me cry just as much as hearing the news about Becca–but the good kind of tears. It gave me such hope. If Amy could look into the face of the trial she dreaded most with unwavering faith… if God was enough for her in these fiercely dark moments (as he promises he will be!)… then He will be enough for me, too! The things I dread may come, but so will God’s strength, which is always equally matched to the trial.
As I’ve sifted through my issues with control, I’ve come to realize that my fear and worry can indicate a deeper struggle with control. Whenever I am filled with dread, wondering what the future holds, I’m learning to ask myself, “What am I trying to control? What am I not trusting God with?” God’s desire for each mom, each twelve-year-old girl, and each follower of him, is that we surrender control and trust him with the ending of the story.
This chapter of Becca’s story has a good ending in so many ways. The surgeon said she felt ‘someone’ was graciously guiding her hands as she removed Becca’s tumor, which contained no cancer. And the lab tests also came back benign. But equally as good is the story of faith, evidenced in this family, as they faced the unknown.
Their story proves that if the mass is the size of a loaf of bread, then God will give loaf-sized faith to all who need it–including a fearful Mama. Knowing how Amy worries, her friend said, “This couldn’t have happened to a worse person!” But later Amy thought, “No, it couldn’t have happened to a better person, because I am completely weak in my own strength, so this HAD to be God.”
God is real, friends. I saw him this week in my fearless friend, Amy!