“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us,” said A.W. Tozer in his book Knowledge of the Holy. 

Do you think of God as a lecturing, scolding Father? I wouldn’t have said so. I know that some people have had terrible fathers and it’s hard for them to think of God as a good father because their own dad so drastically missed the mark. I have a kind, loving dad. He was a wonderful example of what a good father should be. But even so, a conversation I had with my kids one day caused me to rethink whether “what comes into my mind when I think of God,” along with the picture I’d been painting for them was accurate and right.

This conversation happened way back when I was still toting my three kids around in a mini van. I would often use this time, while they were my captive audience, to create teachable moments. This time, the teachable moment would be for me.

One morning in the car, I turned off the music and said, “I have a question I want you to think about: What is the thing you most often think about when it’s quiet? Where does your mind drift? What are you hoping you’ll get more time for when your work is done? What is it that you crave? What’s the thing you believe will make you most happy?”

Eight-year-old Cade started to give his answer out loud, but I cut him off. “No, no,” I said. “Just think about it in your mind.”

I was pretty sure he (and the other two) were deciding between video games, Legos and movies. I gave them a few moments, and then said, “OK, do you have your answer?” Once again, Cade started to answer but I didn’t let him because I had spent those quiet moments preparing the lecture that I was now ready to give.

“This thing that you love most.. is it God?” I asked, glancing sternly into the rear view mirror. “Because God says that He is the one we should love most. And if your answer was something else, God says that is wrong. Whatever that other thing is, God calls it an idol.”

With deep sadness in his voice, Cade said, “But I was thinking of…. Daddy.”

Bless his sweet little heart. I presumed he was dreaming of Lego knights and Mario Bros! Instead he was thinking of his Daddy! And though he didn’t speak it, the question hung in the air was: How could it be wrong for a little boy to want time with his Daddy?

“Oh Buddy…” I said, considering how to respond. I realized that I was the one who needed to rethink things.

God gives us the people we love as gifts to enjoy. He gives kind, strong daddies to adoring little boys. He gives curly haired, thoughtful little boys to adoring moms. He gives faithful husbands to wives and loving wives to husbands—as lifelong friends and partners in the kingdom. God doesn’t mean for us to stoically ignore the gifts He has given to prove our loyalty to Him.

God weaves these relationships into our lives to help us know Him and love Him even more. He gave me that precious moment in the van with my curly-headed little boy to stop my lecture and stir my heart.

Do I love God like my little boy loves his Daddy? Do I crave time with Him? Do my thoughts of Him fill the quiet moments of my day?

And how is God thinking of me in these quiet moments? Is He preparing a lecture to help me pinpoint my idols—ready to scold me before I’ve even had a chance to answer His questions? No, I think not.

My Father is far better represented in the deep satisfying love of a little boy for his daddy than in a scolding mom, lecturing her kids. Oh how wrong I was. But also—how loved I was.

God gives children to moms and says, See how deep your love is—and how you’d sacrifice anything for these little people who look like you? That’s like My love for you.  

He gives husbands to wives and says, See how his hard work to care for you and the kids makes you feel safe and secure? That’s like My love for you.  

He gives wives to husbands and says, See how she respectfully calls out the best in you and is always there when you get home? That’s like My love for you. 

God gives moments of correction to lecturing moms and says, See how he loves his Daddy? That’s how I want you—and them—to love Me. 

God’s love for us and our love for Him isn’t something to lecture or scold about. It’s something to enjoy.

Do you have a relationship with God? He’s the Father who sent His only Son to die on a Roman cross so that He could win you back from the brink of your sin’s disaster. Jesus is the Son who sacrificed it all on the cross and willingly laid down His life so that you could rise to new life with Him.

May your thoughts of this Father and this Son fill the quiet moments of your day. And may your love for Him fill your heart and overflow to others.