This note was found under Cade’s pillow last week, along with a long delayed dollar bill. Apparently the Tooth Fairy was so overdue that the tooth was no longer under the pillow. Also, FYI: Diggory is our dog.

Dear Cade,

This is the Tooth Fairy. I am so sorry for being such a big loser and not coming for your tooth. I got caught in a bad storm while at the North Pole, and Santa was too sick to give me a ride. I am so tired of Santa and all his lame excuses.

If you find the tooth, please put it in Diggory’s dish.
That way it will end up in the yard, and that’s where I usually throw the teeth anyway.

I hope all your teeth fall out soon so you can get a lot more money. Eat a lot of candy and don’t brush them if you want to make this happen.

 Bye,

The Tooth Fairy 

Twenty years ago, I might have read this note and thought, “Eww. That’s weird.” And maybe you’re thinking that now. But don’t judge me. I’ve been brainwashed. This is the kind of humor I live with 24/7. Most of the joking around in our house has something to do with the dog–what he’s thinking or saying or doing.

Now I just laugh along with everyone else. (But I do make the kids brush their teeth–even the wiggly ones.)