I’m writing at the Revive Our Hearts Leader Connection blog today…

I awoke in the middle of the night, filled with a vague sense of despondent gloom. Groggily, I tried to make sense of my surroundings. Oh yes. I was at a retreat. I was the speaker. And last night I had made a complete fool of myself.

Shame washed over me as I pictured myself, there on the platform in front of the large group of women attending the retreat. You weren’t very interesting. You rambled. Your attempt at humor totally flopped. They only laughed out of courtesy. And you looked fat. So, so fat.

Groaning, I rolled over and reached for my phone. As I glanced at the time, which read 2 a.m., I noticed a text from my friend Jackie, which read, “Wonderful, Shannon! That’s such an answer to prayer!”

I had reached out earlier that day to some of my praying friends who knew how things were really going in my life that week. I was heading into this retreat weekend feeling completely empty and depleted. I asked them to pray that God would show up in a big way—and He had! I had texted Jackie and the others before bed to tell them that it had gone so well. I had clarity and energy, and the women had been warm and receptive. In my weakness, God had been strong. That was the message I sent at 10 p.m.

But now—at 2 a.m.—I was no longer rejoicing over what God had done. I was cringing over how terribly my message had gone. In those four hours’ time, what had changed?

Read the rest on the Revive Our Hearts Leader Connection Blog


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