Holidays have a way of bringing the ‘Control’ out in the ‘Girl’. It’s because we have visions of–not sugarplums–but Pinterest images, dancing in our heads. With each heightened expectation comes something new to control.

But here’s the thing about Control Girls. We often don’t realize that we’re Control Girls. And that’s where this quiz can help.
Now this is a peace-loving quiz! (No judgment, here!) It’s designed to give you a boost up to the best possible holiday with the people you love most. So take it for them, ok?
Holiday Control Girl Quiz
Which option sounds most like something you would say about….
1.       Who will be in attendance:
·         My daughter will be with the other side of the family. We’ll miss her, but she knows they are welcome if their plans change. (0 points)
·         My kids alternate holidays with the other side of the family, so we work really hard to find a time that works for everyone. They know it means a lot to me when everyone from ‘our side’ can be together. (2 points)
·         Well, of course I assumed you were driving in on Christmas Eve! If you don’t, you won’t be here for Christmas morning! And yes, I remember that you have a baby now. I’m her grandma, thank-you-very-much. Which is why I want you to be here on Christmas morning! (5 points)
·         What do you want me to tell everyone, son? That after 32 years, you’ve decided not to spend Thanksgiving with us anymore? I am hurt. I am offended. I find this very disrespectful and rude. I didn’t raise you this way.  (10 points)
2.       The time and place:
·         I’m willing to host for Christmas, but I still have to check with my brother and see what they want to do. (0 points)
·         If we moved our dinner to 7:00, do you think you could make the 4 hour trip and squeeze both in? (5 points)
·         I don’t understand why it’s so difficult. I give everyone 2 weeks notice! I’m trying to be gracious, but I’m privately annoyed that we’re moving dinner back because of the baby’s nap schedule. (5 points)
·         Hi Everybody. I know, Jessica, you offered to have Christmas at your house. But do you think we could have it here? I was kind of counting on it. Thanks for understanding! (10 points)
3.      The menu:
·         I’m completely open. What would you like to bring? (0 points)
·         I have a plan, but I’m flexible. Could you bring a salad or some mashed potatoes, please? I can give you the recipe, if you don’t have one. (2 points)
·         I’m hesitant to change the menu. It’s tradition! Could you save that new recipe for…uh… your church potluck? (5 points)
·         I will be making everything again this year. No, you can’t bring anything. (But you’d better appreciate all I do for you.) (10 points)

4.      The traditions:
·         We may try to do a few special things this year, but I refuse to stress out about it. (0 points)
·         We have several Christmas traditions. But to be honest, I usually get irritable and finish the gingerbread houses or the decorating myself because the kids start complaining that they’re bored, or start fighting with each other. (2 points)
·         I decorate the house exactly the same each year. We always go to the same farm to get our Christmas tree.  I have six kinds of cookies that I make. We have three movies we watch. We like to keep everything the same. (5 points)
·         We have a tradition for every night of the week leading up to Christmas. And it takes us all of Christmas day to get through everything. It’s tradition! (10 points)
5.       The Gifts:
·         I do what I can, but I don’t stress out about it. I try to emphasize the joy of being together more than the gifts. (0 points)
·         I work really hard to get unique, special gifts. I stay within my budget, but sometimes I get grumpy because of all the effort it takes. (2 points)
·         I refuse to buy gifts for anyone. I don’t like to shop, and I’m tired of buying things people don’t like or need. I’ve decided I’ll just write checks. (5 points)
·         I totally go overboard on gifts, but everyone knows I love to buy nice things. I usually stay up all night wrapping everything beautifully, too. I would be really disappointed if my family members didn’t appreciate all that I do. (Or if they didn’t reciprocate.) (5 points)
·         My family says I’m hard to buy for, and I admit that I am picky and usually take everything back. This year, I decided to send them each a link for the gift I’d like them to get me. (10 points)

30-50 Consider yourself part of the Control Girl Club. The first step to change is know that you try to control. For a more fulfilling holiday season, choose several things to give up control over.
19-29 You obviously struggle with the desire to control others, but here’s the good news: You haven’t given full vent yet to your desire for control. Keep choosing to surrender the people you love most to God. Remember, He’s the One who is truly in Control.
4-18 You may struggle more with wanting control during holidays and vacations than during other times of the year. Just try to keep tabs on yourself. Why not pray at the beginning of each day from now till the New Year, “Lord, help me to surrender these sweet days and precious people to you.”
0-3 Are you a man? Just kidding. J You are the kind of woman that I’ve always wanted to be. Please open your life up to lots and lots of younger ladies and show them the joy that floods a woman’s life when she surrenders to God rather than trying to control everybody else!

Find more suggestions for STRESSED OUT Daughters-in-Law and Daughters during the Holidays, click here. 

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