Do you ever struggle with control? And do you sometimes feel like taking control is noble and right? Do you think, “If I don’t do something here, the whole world is going to come unhinged”? 

We have Kelly Needham back today, to talk about “The Desire to Control my Husband”, but I want to add right at the top, that this desire can be a problem also for women who don’t have a husband. So if you’re not married, this episode is still for you.

Do you see any anger, anxiety, fear or perfectionism in your life, which might be rooted in an unhealthy desire for control? Could this verse explain some of the symptoms that you’ve noticed? 

Guest: Kelly Needham

Bible Passage: Genesis 3:16

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Mentioned Resources: 

• • Control Girl: Lessons on Surrendering Your Burden of Control from Seven Women in the Bible – my nine week study.
  • Take the Control Girl Quiz
  • “Male and Female” earlier episode with Kelly Needham
  • John Piper’s sermon on Gen. 3

Recommended Resources: (Scroll down)

Music: Cade Popkin Music 

Kelly Needham

Find Kelly

• Website
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Quotes:

“Could your anger, anxiety, fear or perfectionism be rooted in an unhealthy desire for control? Could this verse explain some of the symptoms that you’ve noticed?” —Kelly Needham

“As man’s power over woman is restrained by love, woman’s power over man is restrained by the command to submit. Any woman knows that she has ways of getting her own way. It is not physical strength that is most powerful. It is not the ability to deal with high-level abstractions. She may be as intelligent as or more intelligent than her husband, she may be more gifted than he is. Whether this is the case or not, she also has “wiles,” emotional power, and she has sexual power. These must be restrained. The kind of restraint God asks of her is submission.” —Let me Be a Woman by Elizabeth Elliot

“As man’s power of woman is restrained by love, woman’s power over man is restrained by the command to submit. Any woman knows that she has ways of getting her own way…. she has “wiles,” emotional power, and she has sexual power. These must be restrained. The kind of restraint God asks of her is submission.” —Let me Be a Woman by Elizabeth Elliot

Control Girls of the Bible

Ultimately that study became my Bible study, Control Girl: Lessons on Surrendering Your Burden of Control from Seven Women in the Bible. The seven women I studied were: Eve, Sarah, Rebekah, Leah, Rachel, and Miriam. And that list is by no means complete; I just ran out of room in the book to include anymore.

As I studied these women of the Bible, I realized that they were all doing what I try to do: They was trying to grab for or hold onto control, based on her small-minded perspective—and she was making everyone miserable. Want to discover what lessons I learned about control, about myself, and about God?

I’d love for you to join me for this nine-week study.

• Book
• ControlGirl.com
• Take the Control Girl Quiz
• Control Girl FREE bonuses
• Control Girl Leader materials

False Narrative of Taking Control

The Bible tells us that taking control of our husbands (and everybody else) is a consequence. It’s a judgment, which has caused us to have misshapen desires. No longer do we enjoy our distinct roles in marriage, but instead, we want to exert—not physical—but our own unique forms of power over our husbands. And the world celebrates it when we do so.

So here’s the question. Will we live like it’s true that control tactics are a part of the fall?

This is hard. Oh, boy, do I know it. After twenty-six years of marriage, I still have an intense desire to control everything from where my husband puts his coffee cup to where he parks the car. I still have wrestle with myself over the smallest choices. But I want to be a woman who rejects the false narrative, and embrace the true story. Do you? Will you live like it’s true?