During our first year of marriage, I asked this question dozens of times. My new husband would hurt my feelings or make me angry, and I would fling myself on the bed, wailing and punching pillows. But it never made me feel better. 

I’d emerge feeling horrible and guilty about my tantrum, and try to explain to Ken by saying, “I was never like this before I met you. I was always fun-loving and upbeat. Nothing ever upset me. How did I get like this?”

Then, when I was a new mom, I asked the question even more frequently. I would get so frustrated over the silliest things–getting my baby changed and out the door on time, trying to figure out why she was howling… again, trying to find the only pacifier which we hadn’t lost in the grocery store. I would let my frustration erupt in a groan, and I’d lean over and pound my fists on the floor.

Then, I would feel terrible. I’d say,“I was never like this before I had kids. I mean, I never lost my temper or even showed any signs of frustration at work. I’ve always been cheerful and carefree and happy. How did I get like this?!”

Now, I never said so out loud, but I secretly suspected that my husband and children had made me this way. It was the only reasonable explanation.

I’m wondering… can anyone relate? 

I’m working on a speaking topic, which includes sorting out that question: “How did I get like this?” The answer has something to do with a scene that occurred long before I became a wife or a mother. It’s a scene where a snake enters a beautiful garden and addresses a lovely lady. 

But as I investigate this, can I get your input? 

  • What are the things in your life, which unravel your composure like nothing else?
  • Do you ever shake your head and say, “How did I get like this?” Can you recall a scene in your life which seems totally unlike you?
If you could respond here, on facebook, or by email (shanpopkin@gmail.com), I sure would appreciate it. Also, if you CAN’T relate, that would be helpful for me, too. I want to make sure this is a good way to reach my audience with this topic. 

Thanks for letting me test it out on you!

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