These little twinnies were our house guests this weekend. Aren’t they cute? While they were here, I pulled out my stash of baby books, and thoroughly enjoyed having chubby little hands clutch Pat the Bunny and Mr. Brown Can Moo as I read. It just took me back.
Later, my ten-year-old wandered into the room with the board books spilled about, and picked them up, remembering. He said determinedly, “I am going to read all of these books. I never understood them when I was little, but now I’m going to figure them out!”
This made me laugh! I can just picture little eighteen-month-old Cade snuggled in my lap, peering at The Big Red Barn or The Red Ripe Strawberry–a confused expression clouding his big blue eyes.
If he had been confused, he couldn’t tell anyone. He couldn’t talk yet! At least not enough to express confusion.
A while later, Cade was doing a rap version of Good Night Moon and saying, “I STILL don’t get those books. They have no point.”
As we hold God’s book in our hands, we’re a little like a chubby toddler, who can’t even express all of his confusion. It’s too difficult to sort out why God told a man to kill his son (Gen 21), or why he hid the way to be saved from certain people (Luke 8:10).
Now, some of my friends are content to sigh like a little child and say, “It’s okay. I don’t have to understand.” They’re able to trust God in a simple, restful way, even when it’s their son who has been killed, or their loved one who is blind to salvation.
But I have other friends who pick up God’s book and say, “I never understood when I was younger in my faith, but now I’m going to figure this out.” They analyze and study and compare. They wrestle with God and fling their biggest questions up to heaven. Questions like, “Why did you take my baby, Lord?” and “What sort of God allows a faithful servant like my dad to have Dementia?”
I think God is fine with both types of people–those who are content with what they don’t understand, and those on quest to grasp and understand.
And I also think both types must learn to be fine with each other. After all, both cling to the same book and the same future. And both serve the same God. Our God is wise enough to see the point, and big enough to spread his wings over all who will come–whether they come with challenges, questions, or simple faith.
My husband and I are extreme opposites in this dept. I have a solid faith in God that comes from growing up rooted and grounded, yet not having faith be real to me until I had been through hell and back due to my own disobedience…He on the other hand, came to know God just 7 years ago, and has driven himself crazy trying to figure it all out. To the point of pretty much not spending any time with God, now. (And it shows) Been praying for God to balance us out a little, but iron sharpened iron, and it seems that I only seek God when life gets really uncomfortable. Thank you for this post!!
Wow–thanks for this comment. I know it represents a lot of emotion and struggle. Our pastor preached a sermon series recently on Nehemiah and highlighted the verse where Nehemiah rallies the people to 'fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.” (Neh. 4:14) He said that if we were fighting just for us, we might run and hide. But when we are fighting for our families, we fight with fierce determination. As Christians, we must fight back against the enemy's taunts with faith and prayer and Truth. And we fight, not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones, too. I know this sounds a little contradictory to what I said in the post, but I think there's a difference between saying, “I don't have to understand” and “I don't care to understand.” I just prayed for you and your husband… that you would fight for him and that he would fight for you, and that together you would get more of God than you ever could on your own.