There’s a lot of pressure on Valentine’s Day. It feels like the whole world is going on some elaborate date, drinking in the beautiful romance of true love. Especially when you’re NOT doing any of those things.

Many of us have this nagging question on February 14:

“How do I measure up?”

Do you feel that way?

I was talking to some teens recently and they told me that at their age, having a boyfriend is sometimes more about status than the actual relationship. In other words, a girl might be more interested in saying she has a boyfriend than in the actual boyfriend.

I remember those days. But I think they might not all be in the past.

Sometimes women who are married or dating are more interested in having a good photo than a good relationship. We’re more invested in projecting a romantic, committed and fun relationship than actually working to have a romantic, committed, and fun relationship.

If you want to be free of all the stress of measuring and being measured, how about asking yourself a different question today:

“How can I pour myself out?”

If you’re married or dating, look for ways to show your guy you love him. Honor his preferences. Be respectful and kind. Have fun with him. And skip taking a photo. (Any husbands thanking me right now?)

If you’re not married, look for ways to pour into somebody else! Here are some ideas:

Host an impromptu Galentines party.

Invite a friend to go to church (or watch virtually).

Bake cookies and drop them off at several friends’ houses.

Send fun, encouragement texts to every single person you know who might be feeling alone today.

Buy kids’ valentine cards, and bring one to each of your neighbors as a way to say hello.

If you’re struggling with single status today, remember that Jesus wasn’t married and he lived the fullest life possible by completely pouring himself out. He invites you and me (no matter our marital status) to do the same thing.

Romans 5:8 says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us.”

There’s this magical thing that happens when you tip your measuring cup, like Jesus did, and start pouring. Your eyes move from the lines to the spout. Your me-focused concerns about measuring up melt into me-free joy of serving and influencing others!

What is one me-free way you will focus on serving someone else, this Valentine’s Day?


Check out my new book, Comparison Girl: Lessons from Jesus on Me-Free Living in a Measure-Up World: 

Get the FREE Bonus Pack for Comparison Girl:

You can pre-order the Leader’s Kit (releasing March 30), which includes both DVD’s and digital downloads for all six sessions: 

The Journaling Workbook is officially releasing February 23, but I received a box early! Check my shop for more info.

This trailer video has some clips from the Leader Kit Video Sessions

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