We Control Girls have this tactic called persistence. The more we bring something up, the closer we get to the tipping point–where our husbands abdicate their preferences to keep their sanity.
I used this tactic on Ken by initiating regular ‘discussions’ about the home addition I was lobbying for. (Read part 1 here.) These were rather one-sided discussions, wherein I did all of the talking and eventually, Ken did the caving. He now describes it like this: “Once that idea [of a bigger kitchen] was birthed, I knew it wasn’t dying any time soon. It moved in and made the house even smaller.”
So, to please me and my newborn idea, he agreed to an addition on the back of our house. Now, he did NOT say that we could go take out a loan. That would have been completely contrary to his Dave Ramsey-hearted nature. But he did say we could begin saving.
He figured that in five or six years, we would have enough to rip the back off our house and make it match the picture I was visualizing and drawing out in ever increasing detail. So, the saving began.
After a couple of years, I began privately plotting an acceleration plan. This was taking too long. The kids would be pretty much grown by the time we finished this addition. What was the point of having a big kitchen for the two of us? So I searched for ways to speed things up.
Whenever we received any extra money, I would say, “Why don’t we put this toward the addition?” And without any particular enthusiasm, my husband would slide the money over to an account that grew little by little.
Then came the triple-decker surprise. Within a matter of weeks, three unexpected blessings showed up in our mailbox: a generous gift from Ken’s parents, a tax return that we didn’t know was coming, and a big, fat bonus check–far more than Ken had ever received before.
We were delighted! Ken suggested we go out to dinner and talk about how to use the money, which pleased me very much.
As I anticipated our dinner out, I smiled to myself secretly. Ken must not realize that I am pretty good at math. I already had it figured out. The combined amount of the extra money was exactly the amount we still lacked for the addition–which was still scheduled for at least three years down the road.
I was also pretty good at spiritual discernment! Who could deny that this was the Lord’s will??! God had sent the money to accelerate our plans for the addition! And my dear husband was taking me out to give me the news and celebrate. I couldn’t wait.